"After everything you've done for Mr. Santorum," writes "Savage Love" reader Jezebel in Wisconsin, "I really think you should share the 'get Rick his own damn uterus so he'll leave mine alone' campaign with your readers. We should all have a chance to mail that man a tampon."

Delighted, JIW. Here's Jezebel on their campaign:

Rick wants to believe that every uterus is his business, but, in his heart of hearts, he knows that he has no uterus that truly belongs to him. I know that if perhaps he had one to look after and name and teach tricks, he'd probably back off of mine and yours, enthralled with the joys of menstruation, bloating, possible monthly pregnancy, and, later on in life, ladycancers. Even though his Creator cruelly deprived Rick Santorum of a uterus by design, He would not have given human beings brains capable of discovering the wonders of medicine if He did not want us to implant a uterus in Rick Santorum...

Rick Santorum has shown the American people time and time again that he's the most anti-abortion of all the candidates, that more than anything, he wishes to have a uterus inside of him, so he can put a baby in it. And now, I'm appealing to you, American people. Let's give Rick Santorum all the uterine delights that most women casually take for granted. I'm imploring all of you to consider making a small donation to the Rick Santorum campaign today, so that we can help make Rick's dream of owning a uterus a reality. If you can't afford to donate a uterus, look inside your heart and consider donating something smaller, to help Rick care for his new friend.

1 Tampon will provide protection from three to seven hours of menstruation
1 Pad will provide Rick's new uterus with less invasive protection and overnight protection
1 Pregnancy test will let Rick know when his uterus is pregnant
1 Pack of Plan B will give Rick the opportunity to flush it down the toilet while crying "No! No! I'm going to have your baby!"
1 IUD will give Rick the opportunity to pretend that it's a Jaws Harp before throwing it away
$500 to $3000 will cover the cost of delivery for Rick's uterus's baby

On this day after the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, I call for you, America, to respect the rights of the man born without a uterus to have one of his own to manage. Donations can be sent to Rick Santorum's Florida campaign headquarters.

1680 Fruitville Road
Suite 102
Sarasota, FL 34236

Please don't send Rick $3000—not unless you want 300 ugly sweater vests showing up on your doorstep a few weeks later. But I love the idea of burying Rick's campaign headquarters in tampons, pads, and pregnancy tests! Might want gift Rick a few rape kits after his recent comments about the "gift" of a rapebaby.