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Monday, February 13, 2012

Gay Marriage Stranger Tournament of Dunces, The Final Four

Posted by Eli Sanders on Mon, Feb 13, 2012 at 10:16 AM

[Click to enlarge.]

We started on Friday with the eight legislators behind the most idiotic anti-gay-marriage speeches given on the Washington State House floor last week. Then, over the weekend, the people of Slog used our legally binding and eternally infallible electronic polling devices to narrow the field down to The Final Four:

Reps. Jay Rodne, Matt Shea, Mark Hargrove, and Bill Hinkle.

As promised at the outset, the winner gets a flower from a gay florist, a bacon cheeseburger from Jack in the Box, and their official state portrait on this week's cover of The Stranger.

Ready for the Final Four, Round 1? Here we go! (Voting closes at 3 p.m. and we'll do the final match-up right after that.)

Jay "I Don't Know If I Want to Be Here" Rodne...

...versus Matt "My Business Will Not Participate In Gay Marriages Because Florists Are Oppressed and Man I Hate Tulips" Shea

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Comments (10) RSS

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No women in the top four? How terribly sexist of us.

Posted by MacCrocodile

on February 13, 2012 at 10:28 AM

@1: I voted for Smith, but I get why Hargrove won.

Posted by Canadian Nurse on February 13, 2012 at 10:35 AM

I still think that in addition to the tulip provided by a gay florist and the Jack-in-the-Box BLT burger, the winner should receive a pair of two left shoes.

Posted by Clayton on February 13, 2012 at 10:53 AM

The "creating life" argument is no doubt the most unpleasant, "profoundly sad" bunch of bull out there. But the hating tulips and oppressing the religious rights of florists is too good to pass over.

You Washington people provide so much for the rest of the nation--nay, for the world.

Posted by kate r

on February 13, 2012 at 10:54 AM

Hmm, I thought I'd be in the majority opinion in voting for Rodne. His notion that somehow children were going to be torn away from their biological parents to be given to gay married couples seemed unbeatable, in the dumbfuckery department.

Still, I guess I understand how the sheer inanity of "Oh won't someone think of the bigoted florists?" would earn a lot of votes.

Posted by Lynx on February 13, 2012 at 11:08 AM

Rodne is an asshole to be sure, but his assholery cannot beat the shear entertainment value of the insanity of the Florist Defense.

Shea wins this match.

Posted by Reverse Polarity on February 13, 2012 at 11:32 AM

You can not make me listen to all this ass-hat bullshit again. I think that some conservative has infiltrated SLOG and is trying to liquify our brains by asking us to listen to this stupidity over and over again.

Posted by Schweighsr on February 13, 2012 at 12:11 PM

No progress without sacrifice, Schweighsr.

Posted by Puty on February 13, 2012 at 12:14 PM

I've got to reluctantly give it to Rondne for "this is not about civil rights, nor is it about equality".

Also, Rodne's huge, fake sigh at 40:33 is magical.

Posted by Puty on February 13, 2012 at 12:18 PM

Rodne- and hey feel free to leave dude

Posted by Don't let the door hit you on the way out on February 13, 2012 at 3:46 PM