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  • redbox.com

Just submitted to I, Anonymous:

Dear Clueless Redbox Customer,

The fact that you have just discovered the magic of Redbox is already one strike against your moronic life. The fact that you haven't figured out that you can reserve movies online through Redbox's website is another. But for the love of God, who doesn't already know that Redbox DVD's and games are due at 9:00 p.m. every fucking night?!?

The only thing worse than your braindead dumb ass reading the synopsis of each film on the screen between 8:30 and 9:00 p.m. is the line of people standing behind you who are seriously daydreaming about running you over with their Subaru's.
STOP WAITING BEFORE 9:00 p.m. to shop for DVD's at the Redbox kiosks you fucking loser!! Waiting for your scraggly, greasy-haired, reclusive ass to choose a movie is not worth the rest of us paying for an additional night as the clock ticks closer to the 9:00 p.m. deadline.