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News & ArtsSaturday, February 18, 2012
2012 / Politics / LGBTQITSLFA Conservative GOP Arizona Sheriff—and Mitt Romney AZ Campaign Co-Chair—Pledges to Deport Illegal Immigrants
Posted by Dan Savage on Sat, Feb 18, 2012 at 10:15 AM
And that includes his ex-boyfriend:
Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu—who became the face of Arizona border security nationally after he started stridently opposing illegal immigration—threatened his Mexican ex-lover with deportation when the man refused to promise never to disclose their years-long relationship, the former boyfriend and his lawyer tell New Times.... "If what [Babeu's attorney] says is correct [about Jose's being illegal], either the sheriff had a long relationship with someone he knew was undocumented, while all the time being Mr. Bluster about the border and using it for political gain," or he threatened to deport someone he just broke up with, Merritt says. "That's just the worst kind of hypocrisy."
You may remember Sheriff Babeu from John McCain's "build the danged fence" campaign ad:
New Times has pictures of Babeu embracing his possibly-undocumented Mexican lover (slipping a hand into the BF's open shirt) and screen grabs from Babeu's alleged Adam4Adam profile. Babeu is a frequent guest on Fox News, a Republican candidate for an Arizona congressional seat, and an alleged cocksucking hypocrite. Babeu spoke with The Arizona Republic about the allegations:
Babeu declined to respond to questions about whether he and the man had had a romantic relationship, saying he would not discuss his personal life.... In the New Times article, the man describes a romantic relationship that ended after he saw what he said was Babeu's profile on a gay dating website. The article included photos, including some that appeared to be of Babeu shirtless, and described other, more revealing photos. It also showed text messages that the man claimed showed discussions he had with Babeu last year. The article said the text messages appeared to come from Babeu's work cellphone.
When asked if the text messages or photos described in the New Times article were authentic, Babeu said that was a private issue that he would not go into. DeRose said some things in the story were inaccurate or exaggerated, but he would not provide details, saying it would further the "falsehoods." When asked how Jose came to work on his campaign, Babeu said, "I had known him. ... I had seen him on a personal level."
Republicans do believe in a right to privacy—but only for themselves. Babeu was the front runner in the GOP primary for a new AZ congressional seat. Now he's toast.
UPDATE: Via TPM: Sheriff Babeu was warmly received a few days at CPAC...
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! There's Babeu talking to the homophobes at CPAC—they banned GOProud from attending this year—about how he's a "first responder" in our "illegal immigration crisis." A blowjob isn't the kind of "first response" the bigots at CPAC had in mind, Sheriff Babeu.
UPDATE 2: Babeu calls a presser...
Pinal County Sheriff Paul Babeu on Saturday denied allegations that he and his attorney threatened to deport a Mexican former boyfriend of Babeu's unless the man agreed not to disclose the relationship. Babeu said the allegations are "completely false" and that the only information mentioned in a Phoenix New Times article that's true is "I'm gay."
"This was the way, the hook of how this could be brought out (his sexuality) and to malign and attack a sheriff who does stand for conservative principles," said Babeu at a press conference outside his department's headquarters in Florence.
The anti-illegal-immigration sheriff was standing up for conservative principals and bending over for a boyfriend who might be an illegal immigrant. Which means that the sheriff either doesn't believe the crap he spews about illegal immigration or... um... maybe the sheriff was intercepting his ex-boyfriend's sperm so he couldn't use it to make an anchor baby? Whatever it was, let's make sure there's a Paul Babeu Memorial Glory Hole in that danged fence.
UPDATE 3: Sorry, TPM, but I have to disagree with this:
While it’s remarkable to see a Republican figure of national stature publicly embrace his homosexuality, and give such a forceful conservative defense of gay rights, that’s not the real issue here. As far as we can tell Paul Babeu has never taken any public positions contrary to his now very public homosexuality.
People are presumed to be straight if they don't identify themselves as gay. And unless a guy is wearing a dress or a girl is holding a wrench, straight is the default assumption. (Not all dress-wearing men are gay, not all wrench-wielding women are lesbians.) But a man who goes to CPAC and insists that he's the only "real conservative" in his race, a man who IDs himself on his campaign website as a "true conservative," is going to be presumed to be straight by the kind of assholes who attend CPAC and by the kind of assholes who vote in GOP primaries. But the assumptions don't end there. In this political climate, with "conservative" now synonymous with political homophobia, a man who claims to be a "true conservative" doesn't just default straight. He defaults bigoted. Conservative voters will assume he holds anti-gay political beliefs and they will expect him to vote anti-gay should he be elected to office. So Sheriff Babeu stood to benefit politically—and may have actively sought to benefit politically—from the assumption that he was 1. straight and 2. anti-gay.
The sheriff's self-serving, political-deathbed conversion to "forceful" pro-gay-rights arguments notwithstanding, fact is Babeu has taken a "public [position] contrary to his now very public homosexuality." He allowed CPACers and bigoted GOP basers to assume he was one of them—anti-illegal, anti-choice, anti-gay, and all the other anti's that are now assumed when someone calls himself a "true conservative." And just because Babeu is standing up for gay rights now—now—doesn't mean he would stood up for gay rights, or voted in favor of gay rights, if he had gotten presumed-to-be-straight-ass elected. Based on the voting records of other closet cases who made it to congress, odds are good that a still-successfully-closeted Babeu would've been a reliable vote against LGBT rights.
UPDATE 5: Babeu's campaign manager four days ago:
I bet they do.
3
Boy, it's a good thing that High-Society LGBTQ Fundraiser that Obama spoke at pressed for passage of UAFA and President Obama made it his highest priority for the gay community to reunite and bring together families in the next four years.
Psych! It was AIDS.
Psych! It was AIDS.
4
I know plenty of people, gay and straight, who would like to see their ex-lovers banished to a foreign land.
5
Yes, Ken dear. But it takes a Republican to actually do it.
So where are these "more revealing photos"?
So where are these "more revealing photos"?
7
Toast? Maybe not. If there are enough Ken Mehlmans out there, he stands a chance at becoming another conservative hero with a show on Fox. He's a victim of the librul media plot now.
8
We need to open the borders completely asap. Its the only way to save the US middle class which has been disappearing unabated for 40 yrs straight. Our lower class would be swamped and anchored and the double edged sword of 3 tiered class division will return. I love how it's considered completely acceptable that we have an entire desperate 3rd world country right next door and our politicians only care to protect our current lower class from competition, there by preserving their ability to afford big screens at walmart.
9
He's been Gingriched. (Had his hypocrisy exposed). Ilegals are bad unless its the one I take to bed, eh, Sheriff?
12
@6 - Also hypocritical had he secretly hired and housed undocumented workers while publicly screaming to close the boarder. Sex for years with an undocumented person, male or female, is equally hypocritical - GOP gay sex is just icing on the cake!
14
According to the article Babeu once had a three-way w/ a member of the state legislature and the legislator's gay lover in return for $1.7 million worth of state money for the Pinal County Sheriff's Department. Wow.
15
Gotta love these conservative fools who think that they can get away with having their cock and eating it too. Here's another one, an anti-gay radio host who fled the scene rather than stop at the accident he was in after leaving a gay bar...
http://www.click2houston.com/news/Video-…
http://www.click2houston.com/news/Video-…
17
The sheriff is surprisingly hot. Who knew.
I agree with sexy-sheriff actually. Hot illegals with suckable cocks should stay. Ugly ones or asshole exes must go: it's just what's best for Amurka. It's about time this country had a house cleaning of the uglies. Who's with me?
I agree with sexy-sheriff actually. Hot illegals with suckable cocks should stay. Ugly ones or asshole exes must go: it's just what's best for Amurka. It's about time this country had a house cleaning of the uglies. Who's with me?
19
You, a lot of out, happy gays—especially younger ones—who live in moderately supportive communities don't have any idea what "internalized homophobia" is.
I suppose having people like Paul Babeu (and Roy Ashburn)around as cultural examples during this transitional era is somewhat useful. Let's hope they soon follow the other dinosaurs into the fossil record.
I suppose having people like Paul Babeu (and Roy Ashburn)around as cultural examples during this transitional era is somewhat useful. Let's hope they soon follow the other dinosaurs into the fossil record.
23
@19, well put. I'm old enough to have seen my share of sour closeted Babeu types. Now if you'll excuse me, after Dan's last update I'm going to head on out to Rim Country.
24
I would point out that the ex-boyfriend is only ALLEGEDLY illegal. At one point he had a valid visa and it is unclear whether he does at this time.
26
Dan, you have so many things to say about marriage equality... and yet you are so oddly silent about the recent legislation in our own home state. WHY???? Are you still pissed at Jamie "butter won't melt in your butt" Pedersen, who worked for years and years to get this benefit that you and Terry might now enjoy? Are you really so fucking small and petty?
27
Um, Dan, plenty of straight guys wear dresses (and plenty of straight women know the front end of a wrench from the back end).
28
I like how his a4a profile—in which he describes himself as "str8 acting"—lists his occupation as "tell ya later."
Unless someone beats ya to it.
Unless someone beats ya to it.
29
Arizona’s undocumented immigrant policy infuriates me, the fence infuriates me. However, it’s unfortunate that the GOP is so hostile to gay conservative political aspirants, that I applaud Babeu for his courage despite the inevitable hypocrisy. The Republican party started off as the party of equality, so there’s no reason it can’t be salvaged in the long run.
30
I hear there are adam4adam profiles. Those usually have dick and ass pics. Anyone have a link to photos?
31
@ 8 "an entire desperate 3rd world country" ?
You obviously have never visited Mexico (outside of the seedy parts of Tijuana, I suppose), and don't know what the expression "third world country" means.
But sure, go ahead, if it makes you feel less miserable about being from the soon-to-be Republic of Gilead.
You obviously have never visited Mexico (outside of the seedy parts of Tijuana, I suppose), and don't know what the expression "third world country" means.
But sure, go ahead, if it makes you feel less miserable about being from the soon-to-be Republic of Gilead.
32
I wonder when Dan will thank Sen. Murray and Rep. Pedersen for spearheading marriage equality in WA? He's been unusually quiet on the issue.
36
@26... anonymous troll calling me a coward?
I haven't written much about because I haven't been here to cover it, first of all, and Eli and Dom were over it. Also, I don't think it's time to celebrate. We have to defend it. The time for champagne is this November.
And I was on Countdown the day it passed and I effusively praised Jamie by name -- and Ed Murray and Gregoire. I also made a large donation to the campaign, at Jamie and Ed's request. If I'm holding a grudge... I think I'm doing it wrong.
So, like, suck my dick, okay?
I haven't written much about because I haven't been here to cover it, first of all, and Eli and Dom were over it. Also, I don't think it's time to celebrate. We have to defend it. The time for champagne is this November.
And I was on Countdown the day it passed and I effusively praised Jamie by name -- and Ed Murray and Gregoire. I also made a large donation to the campaign, at Jamie and Ed's request. If I'm holding a grudge... I think I'm doing it wrong.
So, like, suck my dick, okay?
37
Ugh, let me amend -- just got off an airplane.
@26... anonymous troll calling me a coward?
I haven't written much about marriage equality in WA because I haven't been here to cover it, first of all, and Eli and Dom were all over it. Also, I don't think it's time to celebrate. We have to defend it. The time for champagne is this November.
And I was on Countdown the day it passed and I effusively praised Jamie by name -- and Ed Murray and Christine Gregoire. I also made a large donation to the campaign, at Jamie and Ed's request, after meeting up with them for lunch. If I'm holding a grudge... I think I'm doing this grudge thing wrong.
So, like, suck my dick, okay?
@26... anonymous troll calling me a coward?
I haven't written much about marriage equality in WA because I haven't been here to cover it, first of all, and Eli and Dom were all over it. Also, I don't think it's time to celebrate. We have to defend it. The time for champagne is this November.
And I was on Countdown the day it passed and I effusively praised Jamie by name -- and Ed Murray and Christine Gregoire. I also made a large donation to the campaign, at Jamie and Ed's request, after meeting up with them for lunch. If I'm holding a grudge... I think I'm doing this grudge thing wrong.
So, like, suck my dick, okay?
39
@36 Damn you for making me look at what 26 wrote!
BTW, and sorry if someone's already mentioned this, Huffington Post reports this: Jose said that while working for the Babeu campaign on its social media and website, he and Babeu began an affair, which ended badly after he suspected that Babeu was cheating on him.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/18…
BTW, and sorry if someone's already mentioned this, Huffington Post reports this: Jose said that while working for the Babeu campaign on its social media and website, he and Babeu began an affair, which ended badly after he suspected that Babeu was cheating on him.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/18…
40
@36 - kaBOOM. That was some swift and blinding justice; my hat is off to you sir. I don't have anything to else to add, other than that I think Phoebe in Wallingford is incredibly irritating. "The Republican party started off as the party of equality, so there’s no reason it can’t be salvaged in the long run." You're just fucking with us, right? Abraham Lincoln was a long time ago, honey.
41
@40
Now don't be cynical. Lincoln was less than 148 years ago. The Republican Party can be great again starting around 2159.
Now don't be cynical. Lincoln was less than 148 years ago. The Republican Party can be great again starting around 2159.
43
If Babeu keeps trying to hang on, let's hope people start asking if he ever wants or plans to get married.
44
I'm always such a nice, polite guy with Dan, but if it's the trolls who get to suck his dick, I might have to be meaner.
#yesimseriousaboutwantingtosuckdansdick
#yesimseriousaboutwantingtosuckdansdick
46
HA! I didn't see the punch line to the McCain ad until now.
"Senator, you're one of us."
Um... closeted cocksucker?
"Senator, you're one of us."
Um... closeted cocksucker?
47
@36, you've had plenty to say about other items, and I didn't realize that your internets worked in such a way - that you had to be physically present in the state about which you were commenting. I don't think my internets work like that - I will check their rules.
I don't know what this "Countdown" thing is, but I take it this means that you now think butter would melt in Jamie's butt? Is that what I am understanding? Previously you had quite a few things to say about butter and Jamie's butt, namely that it wouldn't melt, among other insults.
And while I appreciate your invite, old chicken is not my thing, so no, find someone else to suck your dick, perhaps one of our fawning acolytes, preferably one who is present in the state from which you are posting, because your internets don't work out of state.
I don't know what this "Countdown" thing is, but I take it this means that you now think butter would melt in Jamie's butt? Is that what I am understanding? Previously you had quite a few things to say about butter and Jamie's butt, namely that it wouldn't melt, among other insults.
And while I appreciate your invite, old chicken is not my thing, so no, find someone else to suck your dick, perhaps one of our fawning acolytes, preferably one who is present in the state from which you are posting, because your internets don't work out of state.
49
@47: Yeah, I didn't think much of Jamie when he first ran. We'd had a run in years before. It's a long story. And I went in it, why it prompted me to support his opponent, and tossed a few insults at him. I reserve the right to mock politicians—even gay ones. I know, crazy.
But I've changed my mind about Jamie. Let the record show that I now believe that butter would melt in his butt. And I think he's a great state rep.
I didn't write about marriage because I didn't have grist—I wasn't here to cover it—and, like I said, I wasn't moved to write a celebratory/congratulatory post because, in my mind, it's way too soon to celebrate. Work to be done and like that.
If I was writing posts praising Ed—Ed's an old friend—and Gregoire, while ignoring Jamie, you'd have a point. All you've got, it seems, is sand in your crack. Try applying some melted butter—should help clear your crack out.
But I've changed my mind about Jamie. Let the record show that I now believe that butter would melt in his butt. And I think he's a great state rep.
I didn't write about marriage because I didn't have grist—I wasn't here to cover it—and, like I said, I wasn't moved to write a celebratory/congratulatory post because, in my mind, it's way too soon to celebrate. Work to be done and like that.
If I was writing posts praising Ed—Ed's an old friend—and Gregoire, while ignoring Jamie, you'd have a point. All you've got, it seems, is sand in your crack. Try applying some melted butter—should help clear your crack out.
50
Rim Country must be a colloquialism for the Mogollon Rim? Stunning area. Nice hiking. I love Arizona. I wish more people reflected its beauty though.
51
@49,
I see your point. Maybe you don't want to have the rug pulled out from under you? The stories of California, Maine, Oregon are very real. I'm in for the outsourching of the income to help Washington, but that is about all that I can do though. Hopefully November will bring good news for all, and that your equality will help us here (we have to vote in favor to remove the evil that has been written into our constitution).
I see your point. Maybe you don't want to have the rug pulled out from under you? The stories of California, Maine, Oregon are very real. I'm in for the outsourching of the income to help Washington, but that is about all that I can do though. Hopefully November will bring good news for all, and that your equality will help us here (we have to vote in favor to remove the evil that has been written into our constitution).
52
@49, no sand, I haven't been to the beach in months. Just a big pat of butter, slowly melting. My soon-to-be-husband is licking it out of my crack as I type this.
And yes, much work to be done, so we certainly musn't be celebratory or talk about it yet! Let's all hold our tongues, nose to the grindstone, quietly trudging forward. In fact you're known for that, holding your tongue and keeping quiet.
Oh, this is fun!
And yes, much work to be done, so we certainly musn't be celebratory or talk about it yet! Let's all hold our tongues, nose to the grindstone, quietly trudging forward. In fact you're known for that, holding your tongue and keeping quiet.
Oh, this is fun!
53
@44: I don't think he likes us well behaved types. Maybe we had better become http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkT8W6u81…
55
Obviously Sheriff Babeu was engaged in a top-secret, years-long undercover sting operation, rooting out illegals one online hookup at a time.
57
Danny's 'update 3' is chock full of presumptions and ASSumptions that say way more about our favorite HomoLiberal's prejudices and bigotries than they do about Out&Proud Babeu.........
59
To republicans, finding out that one of their own is gay is akin to having the hood pulled off, and realizing that the grand dragon is a black illegal alien. Babeu has only gotten so far in the republican machine because he's hidden his true self. (Desperate enough to keep his sexuality concealed that he threatened an ex-lover) His republican political aspirations are toast. A republican can cheat on a spouse, or even leave a wife when she's critically ill and still be worshipped by the right, but simply being gay is unforgivable.
60
His screenname on Adam4Adam is "StudBoi1" and he's lying about his age by 6 years. So he's not just an asshole, he's a cliche of online "dating."
63
There is nothing wrong in lying about your age on online dating sites since most users use filters like 20-30, 30-40 and so on.
So, if you are 33 or 41 you are out of the picture. That doesn't make much sense, does it?
So, if you are 33 or 41 you are out of the picture. That doesn't make much sense, does it?
64
In this political climate, with "conservative" now synonymous with political homophobia, a man who claims to be a "true conservative" doesn't just default straight. He defaults bigoted.
Am I the only person who's bothered about this? I totally get going after closeted gay and bisexual men who actively work against LGBT rights. I totally get going going after the ones who run on "family values". I'm totally on board with going after the hypocrites. Those guys (they're almost all men) are among the very few who should be publicly outed and shamed for their hypocrisy.
From what I've read, Babeu was not that guy. Maybe we don't like his position on immigration, and maybe he abused his position while going through a break-up (I'll freely admit to doing some really shitty things to my exes in the heat of the moment when things were falling apart and I guaran-goddamn-tee that every single last person here has done the same), but neither of those justify trawling through his personal life and throwing it out there for everyone to see and snicker at.
The guy made a choice not to be totally and completely open with the entire world about his orientation. That's his prerogative. Frankly, with all of the good work that has been done around bullying gay teens, you'd think the writers of this blog would be better at recognizing it when it comes to other gay men.
There are valid ways of criticizing this guy. I don't like his politics. I don't like his position on immigration in particular. So critique him on that. But using his orientation to smear him is exactly what the fundies do to us. It's bullshit when they do it and it's bullshit when we do too.
Am I the only person who's bothered about this? I totally get going after closeted gay and bisexual men who actively work against LGBT rights. I totally get going going after the ones who run on "family values". I'm totally on board with going after the hypocrites. Those guys (they're almost all men) are among the very few who should be publicly outed and shamed for their hypocrisy.
From what I've read, Babeu was not that guy. Maybe we don't like his position on immigration, and maybe he abused his position while going through a break-up (I'll freely admit to doing some really shitty things to my exes in the heat of the moment when things were falling apart and I guaran-goddamn-tee that every single last person here has done the same), but neither of those justify trawling through his personal life and throwing it out there for everyone to see and snicker at.
The guy made a choice not to be totally and completely open with the entire world about his orientation. That's his prerogative. Frankly, with all of the good work that has been done around bullying gay teens, you'd think the writers of this blog would be better at recognizing it when it comes to other gay men.
There are valid ways of criticizing this guy. I don't like his politics. I don't like his position on immigration in particular. So critique him on that. But using his orientation to smear him is exactly what the fundies do to us. It's bullshit when they do it and it's bullshit when we do too.
66
@64 I'm on the fence about whether Babeu's private gayness and public conservatism make him a hypocrite. In 2010 he helped John McCain fend off a primary challenge by Tea Party favorite JD Hayworth. This time around he has supported Mittens over Senator Frothy. So, despite his anti-immigrant bluster, he has aligned himself with the more moderate elements of the Republican party. On the other hand, what kind of reception do you think he would have gotten at CPAC if the crowd even suspected he was a fag?
67
@64
I'll freely admit to doing some really shitty things to my exes in the heat of the moment when things were falling apart. . .
Er, do these shitty things include threatening to have them picked up by some sort of law enforcement agency? And were you in some sort of position of authority that would have given your threats extra weight?
I'll freely admit to doing some really shitty things to my exes in the heat of the moment when things were falling apart. . .
Er, do these shitty things include threatening to have them picked up by some sort of law enforcement agency? And were you in some sort of position of authority that would have given your threats extra weight?
68
What astonishes me is how Babeu denigrates being gay so much. He sets up this bizarre double standard where his role models like McCain and Romney openly celebrate and cherish their loves and relationships. Yet Babeu demands that for gays, all these things are frivolous and must be kept secret and private. He insists that a stigma must be attached to being gay and no mention of it be made publicly.
69
He states that he won't go into whether or not the texts were legit due to it being a "personal matter" but then it says the texts came from his work phone. So they won't be personal much longer, once an investigation begins.
70
@66 I'm sure the main reason he was keeping his orientation under wraps was precisely so he wouldn't run into problems with the Tea Party types as he furthered his career. My guess is he was afraid of how people would react, something that should be familiar to a lot of people here. I certainly am.
I'm actually pretty hopeful that this won't lose him his job. Yes, Arizona is a red state, but it's got a pretty strong libertarian streak. And there are precedents, for instance Tempe had an openly gay mayor several years ago.
@67 Well, since I've never worked in law enforcement it's hardly as if I've had the opportunity, is it? And as a matter of fact, I have seen people call the cops on their partners as they were going through a breakup. Most of the time the police just got things calmed down, but in one case, one of the guys was arrested and taken to jail.
@68 It's all very well for you to sit back and talk about how everyone should take out a full page ad announcing their gayness. Personally, I've been in situations where being openly gay would have cost me my job. And we've all been in situations where we were at least worried about losing people who were close to us. People remain discreet about their sexuality for all kinds of reasons, and, in general, this community has always respected the right of the individual to control the extent, the timing and the manner of the coming out process. We shouldn't be changing that just to score a couple of partisan political points.
I'm actually pretty hopeful that this won't lose him his job. Yes, Arizona is a red state, but it's got a pretty strong libertarian streak. And there are precedents, for instance Tempe had an openly gay mayor several years ago.
@67 Well, since I've never worked in law enforcement it's hardly as if I've had the opportunity, is it? And as a matter of fact, I have seen people call the cops on their partners as they were going through a breakup. Most of the time the police just got things calmed down, but in one case, one of the guys was arrested and taken to jail.
@68 It's all very well for you to sit back and talk about how everyone should take out a full page ad announcing their gayness. Personally, I've been in situations where being openly gay would have cost me my job. And we've all been in situations where we were at least worried about losing people who were close to us. People remain discreet about their sexuality for all kinds of reasons, and, in general, this community has always respected the right of the individual to control the extent, the timing and the manner of the coming out process. We shouldn't be changing that just to score a couple of partisan political points.
71
@70
I don't know what your opportunities are--I kind of assumed that you don't work in LE, but that's probably just me playing the percentages. But what I tried to get at was that you seemed to be putting all dramatic breakups in the same category, but I don't think being a jerk and calling someone names comes to the level of threatening to get someone picked up by the feds or the cops. Unless there was a threat of violence, the people you've observed shouldn't have gotten police involved. We could speculate that most people have done shitty things during a breakup, as you claim, but I would wager that for most of us, the shitty things don't involve criminal acts, including false reporting of a crime, and I'm sorry for your exes if that's what you've done to them, and if they've done that to you, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I don't know what your opportunities are--I kind of assumed that you don't work in LE, but that's probably just me playing the percentages. But what I tried to get at was that you seemed to be putting all dramatic breakups in the same category, but I don't think being a jerk and calling someone names comes to the level of threatening to get someone picked up by the feds or the cops. Unless there was a threat of violence, the people you've observed shouldn't have gotten police involved. We could speculate that most people have done shitty things during a breakup, as you claim, but I would wager that for most of us, the shitty things don't involve criminal acts, including false reporting of a crime, and I'm sorry for your exes if that's what you've done to them, and if they've done that to you, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
73
@71, it was meant as a recognition that everyone I've known, including myself, has gone through difficult, emotional breakups. The sentiment intended was more along the lines of "there but for the grace of dog go I".
@72, Not everyone lives in places in the country that are as friendly to LGBT folks as Seattle. Nor has the country proceeded to more enlightened attitudes at an even rate. As an extreme example, Matthew Shepherd probably would have thought "Leave me alone" would have been a great step forward for civil rights in Wyoming.
@72, Not everyone lives in places in the country that are as friendly to LGBT folks as Seattle. Nor has the country proceeded to more enlightened attitudes at an even rate. As an extreme example, Matthew Shepherd probably would have thought "Leave me alone" would have been a great step forward for civil rights in Wyoming.
74
@73 I think most of us would agree that gay people have the right to keep their sexual orientation/love lives private in order to avoid discrimination. What do you think of the argument that being privately gay, while publicly currying favor with right-wing organizations like CPAC makes Babeu a hypocrite?
75
What a FUCKINNNNN FAGGOT!!! Cock eating pole smokers are some sick and disturbed pieces of shit! It makes my stomach turn to know that my children have a chance in their lifetime to see two sissy bitch so called me men holding hands....NO WAY IS ANYONE BORN LIKE THAT OR CAN'T HELP IT! You queers should all be stoned to death!!!
76
@75 Dr George Rekkers says much the same thing. Perhaps the two of you should get acquainted? Maybe have a nice vacation in Spain together?
78
What a FUCKINNNNN ANONYMOUSCOMMENTERRR!!! Ass eating anonymous Internet commenters are some sick and disturbed pieces of shit! It makes my stomach turn to know that my children have a chance in their lifetime to see two sissy bitch ass-eating anonymous commenters making comments on teh Internets....NO WAY IS ANYONE BORN LIKE THAT OR CAN'T HELP IT! You anonymous ass-eater commenters should all be stoned to death!!!
79
Dan's complaints about Babeu are on two grounds: (1) GOP voters assumed Babeu was straight and anti-gay and he didn't set them straight, and (2) Dan assumes Babeu would have voted anti-gay had he been elected to congress.
If people make wrong assumptions about me, I don't have a duty to correct them -- and in fact I quite like it when they discover they're wrong, and they learn not to make assumptions.
So, Dan, please quit with the hypotheticals and the assumptions.
If people make wrong assumptions about me, I don't have a duty to correct them -- and in fact I quite like it when they discover they're wrong, and they learn not to make assumptions.
So, Dan, please quit with the hypotheticals and the assumptions.
80
How many hypocritical conservative GOP politicians are going to have to be outed before the party abandons its out-moded positions on who’s allowed to bang who?http://mittromneyisatool.com/2012/the-sh…
81
How many hypocritical conservative GOP politicians are going to have to be outed before the party abandons its out-moded positions on who’s allowed to bang who? http://mittromneyisatool.com/2012/the-sh…
82
He really is a true conservative: he doesn't think the government should be bullying Mexicans, he thinks it should be up to private citizens.
83
75, I'm sure you work very hard to resist your homosexual urges. Not everyone is as motivated as you. I can see how that makes you so angry.
84
TPM is right about this. In Dan's mind it's impossible to be conservative *and* gay, because he has inherited the ideological allegiance gays used to owe to liberals and the Democrat Party, but which is now basically a dinosaur. "Gay conservative" isn't an oxymoron, however. Dan gets called a conservative all the time for the same reason he will eventually realize that liberal bullshit is the same as conservative bullshit.
85
84, I don't think that's what Dan is saying. I believe his point is the republican party will abandon Babeu now that they know he's gay, (reading the news this morning, former political allies are already distancing themselves from him.) and the only reason Babeu got as far as he did in the party is because he hid his sexuality. If Babeu had multiple straight affairs, and left his wives when they no longer delighted him, they'd still be singing his praises, but being gay...They'd string him up if they thought they could get away with it. He can still be a conservative, but he's not going to go anywhere in the republican party.
86
To add to my post at 85, One of the load bearing planks in the republican platform is denying gay people rights. Republican fear and hate of gay people is exploited by the party to scare people to the polls. Babeu will now be seen a Manchurian Candidate of the homosexual agenda.
88
i'm thinking ..no i'm betting that babeu is that 'gay friend' that the repugs are alluding to when they proclaim they're not bigots when they advance their anti-gay agenda.
89
As an Arizona resident, I have to say that pretty much everyone here knew he was gay. He frequents the Phoenix gay bars, and wasn't disguising himself on A4A. To the extent that it was a "secret", it's always been an open secret here, and I disagree that not correcting someone's incorrect perception of you is akin to lying about who you are. I disagree with Babeau on a lot of political issues, and I think he can fairly be criticized for a lot of his positions, but not this one.
90
@74, I get that argument too. And while I personally could not see myself being part of a party that was so vehemently gay, I can also understand that some people may be willing to put up with the anti-gay planks in that party's platform if they were sufficiently committed to other parts of the agenda.
I've always been a little put off by people who are so committed to a single issue that it outweighs all other considerations. In the case of the modem GOP, so much of the party is so outrageously and even dangerously homophobic and I disagree with them on so many other issues that my choice is pretty easy. But I can understand why someone like Babeu might want to be involved in spite of their anti-gay policies.
I also think that having gay men active in the GOP is useful. Even if they are discreet and make their orientation known to a handful of peers. Exposing even a small number of conservatives to what it's actually like to be gay is a useful thing. And it also means that we will have people who have the ability to be influential in advancing a pro-gay agenda when they finally do make the choice to come out.
I've always been a little put off by people who are so committed to a single issue that it outweighs all other considerations. In the case of the modem GOP, so much of the party is so outrageously and even dangerously homophobic and I disagree with them on so many other issues that my choice is pretty easy. But I can understand why someone like Babeu might want to be involved in spite of their anti-gay policies.
I also think that having gay men active in the GOP is useful. Even if they are discreet and make their orientation known to a handful of peers. Exposing even a small number of conservatives to what it's actually like to be gay is a useful thing. And it also means that we will have people who have the ability to be influential in advancing a pro-gay agenda when they finally do make the choice to come out.
91
You can be gay and Republican.
But not like this guy.
He treated his ex like crap. THAT'S his big transgression, not his stand on immigration or any other political issue, even LGBTQ issues.
To me, how you treat people one-on-one, and especially when feelings are involved, is vastly more important than your political views. You could be the most progressive, LGBTQ-friendliest person on the planet, but if you're a jerk, you're still a jerk. And I've met some LGBTQ-friendly jerks in my time. I have no use for people like that, I don't consider them "allies."
But not like this guy.
He treated his ex like crap. THAT'S his big transgression, not his stand on immigration or any other political issue, even LGBTQ issues.
To me, how you treat people one-on-one, and especially when feelings are involved, is vastly more important than your political views. You could be the most progressive, LGBTQ-friendliest person on the planet, but if you're a jerk, you're still a jerk. And I've met some LGBTQ-friendly jerks in my time. I have no use for people like that, I don't consider them "allies."
92
@90 'I can also understand that some people may be willing to put up with the anti-gay planks in that party's platform if they were sufficiently committed to other parts of the agenda. '
..well i can if you're not gay, but if you are..
to reduce and denigrate someone, from a person to an issue seems banally political when you're the other, the majority outside, deciding, but to those within another set of dynamics are at play. there are a universe of 'issues' when you're gay - or african american, mexican american, woman etc. -that can't be bolied to a singularity. livelihood, health, education, where you get to live..HOW you get to live , ask any astute gay person and they can tell you that what people decide politically decides and affects every single other part of your life. nobody is suggesting that babaeu should be an activist per se, except by being so overtly political he becomes one, whether he likes it or not. republicans understand this dynamic and that's why their claim of a wide inclusive tent is so repugnant.
..well i can if you're not gay, but if you are..
to reduce and denigrate someone, from a person to an issue seems banally political when you're the other, the majority outside, deciding, but to those within another set of dynamics are at play. there are a universe of 'issues' when you're gay - or african american, mexican american, woman etc. -that can't be bolied to a singularity. livelihood, health, education, where you get to live..HOW you get to live , ask any astute gay person and they can tell you that what people decide politically decides and affects every single other part of your life. nobody is suggesting that babaeu should be an activist per se, except by being so overtly political he becomes one, whether he likes it or not. republicans understand this dynamic and that's why their claim of a wide inclusive tent is so repugnant.
94
It's an abuse of power to be the sheriff and threaten your Mexican lover with deportation. I think it's laughable that he's been exposed as the self-loathing closet case that he is, but the question of impropriety and threats is no laughing matter. He should resign.
95
@91 - Yes. You can be gay and a Republican. But you can almost never be gay and an electable Republican, and as long as that's true, the Dems have a pretty effective weapon. If the GOP wants to use sexuality as a wedge issue, so be it. But, that's a double-edged sword, isn't it?
96
Just going by the interview he had with Wolf Blitzer, he came across as being totally "a man's sex life is not the government's business" and marriage equality and "a person's performance in the military has nothing to do with their sexual preferences", and other goodies that had me cheering. He of course disputed the ex-bf's version of events; if the ex is telling the truth, then Babeu came across at worst as an abusive asshole in his private life.
I think it is totally possible for conservative gays to exist. Since when does fiscal conservativism or anti-illegal immigrant policy depend upon sexual preference?
The trick is to convince the rest of society that "family values" should mean something that includes support for all kinds of families.
Peace.
I think it is totally possible for conservative gays to exist. Since when does fiscal conservativism or anti-illegal immigrant policy depend upon sexual preference?
The trick is to convince the rest of society that "family values" should mean something that includes support for all kinds of families.
Peace.
97
Right now, institutionalized homophobia is a FIRM part-and-parcel of the national GOP agenda.
So it doesn't MATTER how secretly gay-loving and moderate a Republican you are, if you are a Republican politician you are SUPPORTING that ANTI-GAY platform.
ESPECIALLY if you don't say anything about being gay or being gay-supportive.
Of course plenty of GOP voters are actually gay-friendly and some are gay. But as long as they continue to VOTE for GOP politicians that in turn support that national ANTI-GAY agenda, THEN THEY AREN'T OUR ALLIES.
Period.
So it doesn't MATTER how secretly gay-loving and moderate a Republican you are, if you are a Republican politician you are SUPPORTING that ANTI-GAY platform.
ESPECIALLY if you don't say anything about being gay or being gay-supportive.
Of course plenty of GOP voters are actually gay-friendly and some are gay. But as long as they continue to VOTE for GOP politicians that in turn support that national ANTI-GAY agenda, THEN THEY AREN'T OUR ALLIES.
Period.
98
@64: "neither of those justify trawling through his personal life and throwing it out there for everyone to see and snicker at. " Actually, they do. His right to privacy ended the minute he used his position as a public official to police his ex-boyfriend.
99
With all due respect to Sheriff Babeu's campaign manager: (1) he left out a comma, and (2) I refuse to either "rim country Republicans" or "love Sheriff Babeu."
102
@96, I've often thought that 'gay conservatism' should be possible (in fact, aren't libertarians in their pure source supposed to be social liberals with fiscal conservative views?). And one often does find it in other countries (famous Dutch anti-immigrant conservative Pim Fortuyn, assassinated some ten years ago, was himself gay).
I think in America a certain connection was established between conservatism and traditionalism; not a logically necessary connection, simply a historically contingent one. Those who believe in this connection now fight against exceptions to it -- in that they would feel uncomfortable with gay conservatives, for instance. (Predictably, they often consider liberatarians to be anarchists, communists, or both.)
I think in America a certain connection was established between conservatism and traditionalism; not a logically necessary connection, simply a historically contingent one. Those who believe in this connection now fight against exceptions to it -- in that they would feel uncomfortable with gay conservatives, for instance. (Predictably, they often consider liberatarians to be anarchists, communists, or both.)
103
Hate to burst your bubble Dan, but it is possible to be politically conservative and gay. It is true that some conservative groups may discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation, but that does not apply to the majority of conservatives.
Gay conservatives choose to vote conservative because they support the conservative positions on the economy, foreign policy, government's role, and maybe so-called "social" issues like abortion. They are not "one issue" citizens voting for the most "pro-gay" candidate even if they disagree on all other issues.
Paul Babeu's private life should be left alone. The only possible hypocrisy is if he in fact knew this Mexican man was here illegally. But his sexual orientation has no bearing.
Gay conservatives choose to vote conservative because they support the conservative positions on the economy, foreign policy, government's role, and maybe so-called "social" issues like abortion. They are not "one issue" citizens voting for the most "pro-gay" candidate even if they disagree on all other issues.
Paul Babeu's private life should be left alone. The only possible hypocrisy is if he in fact knew this Mexican man was here illegally. But his sexual orientation has no bearing.
104
I haven't checked it out exhaustively, but I haven't heard of any anti-gay positions he's taken in AZ politics (and he IS in politics - his sheriff position is an elective office, which he won). If the guy has been able to sidestep having to make any anti-gay statements (certainly possible in his lower-rung elective office in a rural county; it just "never comes up"), it's pretty hard to brand him a hypocrite. Being a gay Republican in and of itself doesn't automatically make one a hypocrite, no matter what all of you liberals & progressives say.
105
As the kids say, let's break this down. If you can, put away politics for a minute, purty please?
This comes down to what Babeu said and what his ex said, nothing more, nothing less. It's an ugly post-relationship situation between two guys; hell, this kind of deal has been the subject of 60% of all the letters in the history of Savage Love!! Babeu says the ex used still-valid passwords to post derogatory stuff on Facebook and impersonate him (in a disparaging way, I assume) on Twitter, after Babeu had started his campaign for Congress. That's shitty. The ex says he made implied threats about deportation, which, because of Babeu's position, had to make the ex nervous even if he were legal. That's shitty, too. So, as it does in so many letters in Savage Love and SLLOTD, it comes down to who's telling a version of the story that's closer to reality, and who was being shittier. I'm sure we aren't hearing half the story, but hell Dan, you have as much to work with on this one as you often do with a lot of your letters. Do your thing, Dan, make a call: who was shittier here, Paul or Jose? And don't let politics (or Babeu's good looks) influence you!!
I think it's sad that there is so little recognition that there's the ugly, decaying remains of a real relationship here, one that probably had a fair amount of guy-on-guy tenderness when it was good, but now all the ugly shit put out on display for everyone to see. Who here wouldn't find that embarrassing, horrifying even, if that happened to them? This guy is in a fucked up situation, and it was far from being completely of his own making. I can't help feeling sorry for him some.
Everyone is saying he's just another self-hating Republican closet case (which the evidence doesn't bear out), and failing to see, as Corydon so eloquently pointed out, that this guy is just a gay guy trying to live his life, doing something he believes in (and, even if you disagree with him politically, honestly, wouldn't it be nice if less meth came over the border?), and trying to find love. Isn't that what all of us here on SLOG are doing? Can any of you feel for this guy at least a little bit? Or has politics sucked every bit of humanity out of you all?
More...
This comes down to what Babeu said and what his ex said, nothing more, nothing less. It's an ugly post-relationship situation between two guys; hell, this kind of deal has been the subject of 60% of all the letters in the history of Savage Love!! Babeu says the ex used still-valid passwords to post derogatory stuff on Facebook and impersonate him (in a disparaging way, I assume) on Twitter, after Babeu had started his campaign for Congress. That's shitty. The ex says he made implied threats about deportation, which, because of Babeu's position, had to make the ex nervous even if he were legal. That's shitty, too. So, as it does in so many letters in Savage Love and SLLOTD, it comes down to who's telling a version of the story that's closer to reality, and who was being shittier. I'm sure we aren't hearing half the story, but hell Dan, you have as much to work with on this one as you often do with a lot of your letters. Do your thing, Dan, make a call: who was shittier here, Paul or Jose? And don't let politics (or Babeu's good looks) influence you!!
I think it's sad that there is so little recognition that there's the ugly, decaying remains of a real relationship here, one that probably had a fair amount of guy-on-guy tenderness when it was good, but now all the ugly shit put out on display for everyone to see. Who here wouldn't find that embarrassing, horrifying even, if that happened to them? This guy is in a fucked up situation, and it was far from being completely of his own making. I can't help feeling sorry for him some.
Everyone is saying he's just another self-hating Republican closet case (which the evidence doesn't bear out), and failing to see, as Corydon so eloquently pointed out, that this guy is just a gay guy trying to live his life, doing something he believes in (and, even if you disagree with him politically, honestly, wouldn't it be nice if less meth came over the border?), and trying to find love. Isn't that what all of us here on SLOG are doing? Can any of you feel for this guy at least a little bit? Or has politics sucked every bit of humanity out of you all?
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