This sandwich board of lies was spotted in front of Peet's Coffee on Broadway this morning:

What does it mean?

Even if oatmeal were to become the latest food trend (can a food be a "trend" if it has been around for centuries?), the two are not comparable. One is breakfast, the other is dessert. To say oatmeal is the new cupcake is like saying poached eggs are the new whoopie pies. Or miso glazed salmon is the new tater tot. It makes absolutely zero sense.

I'm not going to start my day with a cupcake (well, usually), just like I'm not going to celebrate a birthday with little bowls of oatmeal.

As much as I love oatmeal, it's not the new anything.