Santorum Sweeps South! Mitt Romney's southern strategy and his huge money advantage paid off big last night as he trounced challenger Ron Paul in the race for third place in the Mississippi and Alabama Republican presidential primaries. Also, Rick Santorum edged out Newt Gingrich for first place finishes in both Republican strongholds.

Romney Sweeps South Pacific! The "Romney Tsunami" washed ashore again yesterday as the GOP frontrunner added American Samoa to Guam, the Northern Marianas, and the Virgin Islands in his quest to prove his bonafides in US territories that have no say in November's presidential election. Romney hopes to complete his sweep of non-voting tropical paradises with a big win in Puerto Rico on Sunday. Also, he won Hawaii.

Syria's news... still sucks.

Kenyan-Socialism is destroying our economy! With American businesses plagued by regulatory uncertainty and the crushing weight of President Obama's socialist policies, the NASDAQ closed at 3,040 yesterday, its highest mark since December 11, 2000, while the Dow Jones Industrial Average climbed 218 points to its highest close since 2007.

Nothing like a hot cup of tea and a multimillion dollar bonus to relieve the stress. Fifteen of the nation's 19 largest banks passed the Federal Reserve's latest round of financial "stress tests," suggesting that they are capable of surviving another severe economic downturn. Yay! Of course, that also means that four banks failed, including giant Citibank.

Because guns make us safer. A three-year-old boy fatally shot himself in the head with a gun allegedly found in his parents' car, while stopped at a gas station in Tacoma. This is western Washington's third incidence of child-on-child gun violence in as many weeks.

Not all Joint Base Lewis-McChord servicemen go on killing sprees. No, some of them allegedly hire hit men to do their killing for them.

Finally, a huge store of useful information will be available right from our computer keyboards! In a blow to bookshelf makers worldwide, the 244-year-old Encyclopaedia Britannica will cease print publication, and move entirely to digital form.

What happens if college basketball throws a National Invitational Tournament, and nobody shows up? This.