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News & ArtsFriday, March 16, 2012
Sex Taking Care of Business (Everyday!)
Posted by Dan Savage on Fri, Mar 16, 2012 at 8:36 AM
"To explain this letter," writes a "Savage Love" reader/tipster, "a greywater recycling system is where you take shower and wash basin water, treat it, and use the treated water to flush your toilet. Recently a university that uses one of these systems ran into some problems. Filters clean the water before it is recycled and, well, university students were doing what university students do and the filters were getting clogged."
"Hopefully you found humor not just in the situation, but also in the fact that the university has asked thousands of male students to stop knocking one out in the shower. Yeah, fucking right."
3
Is there a link to something on Snopes busting this? My only qualm was the idea that semen isn't water soluble. If it's fake, I'll take my lumps...
4
Dan, this prank is pretty old: http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php…
http://www.brobible.com/slideshows/view/…
http://www.brobible.com/slideshows/view/…
5
I teach in a residential high school, and all our students are required to live on campus. Once, I was asked by a male (and putatively straight) colleague, "Have you ever thought about how many gallons of ejaculate go down the shower drains in a month's time?" I said, "No, but apparently you have."
6
Sorry Dan, it is a hoax...
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/01/…
"Unfortunately suspicions were aroused at Huffington Post UK headquarters when it was spotted the writer had spelled Manchester as 'Manchster'.
A quick call to the university's press office confirmed the letter was a hoax, following in the footsteps of St Andrew's pranksters, who told students not to pleasure themselves in the library."
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/01/…
"Unfortunately suspicions were aroused at Huffington Post UK headquarters when it was spotted the writer had spelled Manchester as 'Manchster'.
A quick call to the university's press office confirmed the letter was a hoax, following in the footsteps of St Andrew's pranksters, who told students not to pleasure themselves in the library."
8
@3: My experience with semen and water dictate that when they meet, the result is a horrendously sticky, gummy blob that I could foresee as clogging a drain if it were big enough.
Although, it seems you would need a lot at ONE TIME.
I would defer to you however, as I am pretty certain you have much more semen-based experience than me.
Although, it seems you would need a lot at ONE TIME.
I would defer to you however, as I am pretty certain you have much more semen-based experience than me.
9
Ten days ago there was a timely Ask Science reddit answer about semen coagulation. Now we need one on the science of the viral hoax.
Semen is a product of multiple organs. The testes produce the actual spermatozoa but only account for a small fraction of semen. Something like 5% in volume. The bulk is produced by the seminal vesicles about 50%. Mostly, it adds fructose to the semen which is a sugar and provides the fuel needed by the spermatozoa for their epic journey to the ovum. But it also produces a protein that coagulates. I don't remember it's name right now and if I remember correctly it coagulates when in contact with a non-alkaline medium. Semen is alkaline to counter the acidity of the vagina.http://www.reddit.com/r/askscience/comme…
The reason for coagulation is so that semen remains in the female after the deed is done. If you've noticed, it becomes like a sticky jelly. Now you know why. But the thing is this jelly also traps the spermatozoa in it. So there is another mechanism to deal with that.
About 20% of semen volume is produced by the prostate gland. In it there is a coagulase enzyme called PSA. When they test your blood for prostate cancer, this is usually what they're looking for. The job of this enzyme is to break down that jelly like thing somewhere from 5 to 45 minutes after ejaculation. Then the semen becomes liquid again and the spermatozoa can go free on their journey. You can test this yourself... Or your girlfriend can do it for you :-P
I hope this answers your question.
10
I hate to disagree but I work for one of these companies with these greywater systems and the technicians who clean out the university dorms time and time again have to replace the filters for that very reason.
And just because one Huffington Post "journalist" made one call doesn't mean it's fake. Which university it's going to own up to having a system that costs them £2000 every time enough students knock one out in the shower?!?!
And just because one Huffington Post "journalist" made one call doesn't mean it's fake. Which university it's going to own up to having a system that costs them £2000 every time enough students knock one out in the shower?!?!
13
Jesus, guys, yes your semen is amazing and powerful. Good for you. But you can’t bring down a plumbing system with it. Your spunk is not a super-human life form that lives forever. It is biodegradable and easily replaceable. I know you’re very fond of your spunk, but it’s not as enviable as you think.
Love you all anyway, -A.
@10 Do guys jerk off with the water on or off?
When you stop to consider, like @5's coworker, the total amount of semen, it can seem that gallons of semen could gum up a system. But for every ounce or so produced, it's getting washed down with 10-20 gallons of water.
Love you all anyway, -A.
@10 Do guys jerk off with the water on or off?
When you stop to consider, like @5's coworker, the total amount of semen, it can seem that gallons of semen could gum up a system. But for every ounce or so produced, it's getting washed down with 10-20 gallons of water.
14
I joined Reddit a little over a year ago. This get's posted about weekly with a different college's letterhead slapped on.
My god am I bored with it. It never made any sense in the first place.
My god am I bored with it. It never made any sense in the first place.
17
http://i.imgur.com/dBCdN.jpg I had this beauty stuck onto my door when I lived in dorms. It was amusing, but obviously fake, both from the content and the clearly taped-on-then-photocopied signature.
19
@10 - Yeah, I don't disagree that maybe semen could clog up treatment systems, and I'm sorry that your job can essentially be a bulk-rate jizzmopper. But the letter is a hoax. And like many hoaxes, there was a kernel of truth beneath it. And I am glad you have imparted us with your knowledge of the pitfalls of installing graywater filtration systems for a drain outlet system which includes a high volume of incoming human ejaculate.
@15- pizza should not be in cones.
@15- pizza should not be in cones.
21
If this was a thing I'd imagine anybody with teenage boys in the house would have clogged up and greasy clothes washers.
Oh shit, just found out Dan is human.
Oh shit, just found out Dan is human.
22
That's a great letter! Seriously, if more apartment/ dorm/ living space managers wrote and spoke respectfully to their clients, as opposed to treating their clients as tho they are employees, then perhaps I could live somewhere that has onsite management... I don't take any guff from apartment managers, and I once firmly reminded mine that I paid him, and not the other way around, so he needed to watch his tone and speak to me with respect, and then I hung up. Ever since, he's been very polite, and I, in turn, do the same...
24
@20, you remind me of that story by Kurt Vonnegut that has ice-9 in it, the strange crystalline state of water that can exist at room temperature and works as a crystal seed to crystallize all water on the planet, thereby killing humanity. It isn't goo, it's solid, but it's almost as equally icky.
25
Anyone who's dealt with clogged shower drains before knows that what clogs them isn't jizz, it's soap. Soap scum lines the pipes just below the drain screen, and when mixed with hair in particular (huge quantities of which go down your drain) it forms a nasty clump of hair and black mayonnaise. You have to clean it out regularly or your drain will stop up.
Jizz? Makes no difference at all. I don't care if a hundred guys are wanking in there every day; it's not an issue. It's the soap.
Also: letter is obviously fake. I first saw one of these probably ten years ago.
Jizz? Makes no difference at all. I don't care if a hundred guys are wanking in there every day; it's not an issue. It's the soap.
Also: letter is obviously fake. I first saw one of these probably ten years ago.
27
That has to be a fake. I went to Manchester for my undergrad and my mother works there - the headed notepaper has the 1824 logo in purple.
28
Even if this letter is a hoax, my university told guys not to masturbate in dorm showers because it clogs the drains. I think the main problem is that our dorm bathrooms were set up so that all 4 showers had one drain where all the hair and semen would go and it just didn't work very well. I don't think the newer dorms have this problem.
31
@24: Speaking of goo, and Kurt Vonnegut, one of his books has a description of a blob of living matter floating in a submerged lake on some moon of the solar system. I can't remember the moon or the book or much else about it. He described the blob as "a mucilaginous hump," which has stuck in my mind for always and always, and popped up there while reading this letter.
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