Somebody parked a Safeway shopping cart on my corner last week (the nearest Safeway is about a mile away), and twice I've called the convenient toll free number on the side (866-539-2278) to give them the opportunity to pick it up. No luck so far.

Since when folks abandon garbage on my property it becomes my responsibility to deal with it, the way I figure it, this shopping cart has now become my property to do with as I please. So if you're in the market for a slightly used shopping cart, clean and in excellent condition, make me an offer. These babies sell for between $75 and $150 new, but I'm willing to let it go for a bargain basement price.

Or, you know, Safeway's shopping cart retrieval service could just listen to their voicemail and do their fucking job.