Slog Music

Music, Nightlife,
and Drinks

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

The Hardships of Beauty

Posted by on Tue, Apr 3, 2012 at 1:19 PM

She says...

On a recent flight to New York, I was delighted when a stewardess came over and gave me a bottle of champagne.
‘This is from the captain — he wants to welcome you on board and hopes you have a great flight today,’ she explained.
You’re probably thinking ‘what a lovely surprise’. But while it was lovely, it wasn’t a surprise. At least, not for me.

Throughout my adult life, I’ve regularly had bottles of bubbly or wine sent to my restaurant table by men I don’t know. Once, a well-dressed chap bought my train ticket when I was standing behind him in the queue, while there was another occasion when a charming gentleman paid my fare as I stepped out of a cab in Paris.
Another time, as I was walking through London’s Portobello Road market, I was tapped on the shoulder and presented with a beautiful bunch of flowers. Even bar tenders frequently shoo my credit card away when I try to settle my bill.

And whenever I’ve asked what I’ve done to deserve such treatment, the donors of these gifts have always said the same thing: my pleasing appearance and pretty smile made their day.

Here for your eyes (but not only) is her day-making beauty.

Yes, I got this from you, Fnarf.


Comments (59) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
sirkowski 2
So attracts morons. She should be proud...
Posted by sirkowski on April 3, 2012 at 1:31 PM · Report this
sirkowski 3
So she attracts morons.
Posted by sirkowski on April 3, 2012 at 1:32 PM · Report this
Fnarf 4
The shame of getting a hat tip on a link to the Daily Mail.

But seriously, the paper is just too fuckin' weird. This article, for instance; she's not that good-looking. and while I would not normally expend breath on rating a woman's looks, this particular woman has written not one but dozens of articles on how attractive she is, and they've been PRINTED. What is happening here? Has the Daily Mail gone so far meta that they've turned into the Onion? Are they trolling for memes?

How much would you pay, Bailo?
Posted by Fnarf on April 3, 2012 at 1:34 PM · Report this
I know that some people just radiate a sense of beauty in person that doesn't translate well to photographs. Maybe she is one of those. I know lots of people who are as attractive, if not more so, and they are not showered with gifts and bottles of champagne. Maybe they need to try harder.
Posted by Chris Jury on April 3, 2012 at 1:35 PM · Report this
She may be more attractive in person. I know a girl like that, absolutely stunning with approachable, friendly beauty that lights up the room. It helps that she is also smart, sweet and kind. However, her beauty doesn't translate in photography. The angles of her face seem pudgy on film and she is just ordinary. Photographs are funny things.
Posted by Bugnroolet on April 3, 2012 at 1:36 PM · Report this
stirwise 7
The Daily Fail strikes again. Bleargh, what rubbish.
Posted by stirwise on April 3, 2012 at 1:37 PM · Report this
Eastpike 8
I re-scrolled to the top thinking it was an Onion article. She's pretty plain. 2/3 of the chicks on Pike st are as hot as her.
Posted by Eastpike on April 3, 2012 at 1:39 PM · Report this
seandr 9
Based on the description of her experiences, I expected to see a woman with unique and show-stopping beauty. Samantha is certainly lovely, but not in the exceptional sort of way of the many women who've "made my day" over the years.

Which begs the question, is this kind of treatment something that any good looking woman regularly experiences if she's unaccompanied by a man? My wife is, objectively speaking, easily as good looking as this woman, and while she's gotten her share of attention, I don't think any random strangers have presented her with gifts. Maybe because of her ring? Or maybe it's a European thing?
Posted by seandr on April 3, 2012 at 1:43 PM · Report this
Charles Mudede 10
8) exactly what i thought. pure onion. pure.

Posted by Charles Mudede on April 3, 2012 at 1:43 PM · Report this
The Daily Mail publishes testimonial articles like this all the time. They know she's not stunning; they're aiming for page hits and comments.
Posted by mitten on April 3, 2012 at 1:44 PM · Report this
One article about her, by her, funny. But click on her byline and, as Fnarf points out, an endless series appears. Absolutely hilarious.
Posted by gloomy gus on April 3, 2012 at 1:44 PM · Report this
Fnarf 13
@12, always wearing the same dress, going back at least two years.
Posted by Fnarf on April 3, 2012 at 1:45 PM · Report this
Fifty-Two-Eighty 14
@11: Oh. Kinda like Mudede, then.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on April 3, 2012 at 2:00 PM · Report this
lark 15
It's rare if I've done it at all, for me to give a "gift" to a random beautiful (with "beauty" being relative) woman. Recall, at singles bars men routinely buy an unknown but beautiful woman a drink. It's usually an icebreaker with strings attached. Read: "I want to get to know her" wink, wink. Been happening for decades. I'm pretty sure all women come to expect it though it varies depending on her beauty/appearance.

It can be difficult to discern a random act of kindness and beauty from a solicitation. But, I do believe it can be done. Seems, this gal is lamenting. If there is a downside so be it. Some women find it comforting. Others don't. The other day a bartender at my local pub bought me a beer. He did it out of kindness. I'm grateful.
Posted by lark on April 3, 2012 at 2:03 PM · Report this
@9, there are some kinds of beauty, or sexiness, that don't appear in photographs. Perhaps we have to see how her smile lights up her face, or how her ass moves in a particularly graceful way, to understand the gifts she (claims she) gets.
Posted by EricaP on April 3, 2012 at 2:07 PM · Report this
Gurldoggie 17 have no idea. It's easy for you to laugh, but really it's very hard out there for us gorgeous people. I've often thought that if I wasn't so stunning my life would be much easier. As it is, I just have to accept the devoted worship that I attract, and go about my day as if I was just one more average looking person like the rest of you. Some days I can hardly climb out of my champagne bubble bath.
Posted by Gurldoggie on April 3, 2012 at 2:08 PM · Report this
@13, and I love the life she shares with her handlebar-mustachioed French husband Pascal. From the epic "My husband says he'll divorce me if I get fat":
This past week I’ve been battling a ­gruesome bout of ­gastroenteritis. ­
My husband Pascal has been by my side constantly; caring and concerned, he has mopped my brow and even held my hair back as I vomited for the ­umpteenth time. He has behaved like the perfect spouse — well, almost.
While most husbands might whisper, ‘there, there, you’ll feel better soon darling’, instead I’ve had to listen to: ‘Imagine how much weight you’re ­losing! This is great for your figure!’
To my shame, he refuses to keep quiet. And he has only one voice setting: loud. Calls of ‘Look! She is too fat!’ echo around us, whenever we do venture out.
And yet, after three years of life with my husband, I’ve never been happier. Granted, when we push back the duvet each ­morning I know Pascal’s gimlet eye isn’t always appreciating my womanly form, but is often instead on the hunt for extra fat.
I’m slim, I’m healthy and, while it pains me to admit it, it’s all thanks to my husband.…
Posted by gloomy gus on April 3, 2012 at 2:14 PM · Report this
(Beg pardon - I believe that mustache is known as a horseshoe, not a handlebar.)
Posted by gloomy gus on April 3, 2012 at 2:18 PM · Report this
Julie in Eugene 20
I definitely can't imagine any woman I know being so petty as to do the things she claims other women have done (regularly!) in this article. I suppose I'm lucky in that regard... But, the things she described are so far out of my experience that I can't help but think maybe it's her personality that's the problem....
Posted by Julie in Eugene on April 3, 2012 at 2:20 PM · Report this
wisepunk 21
I recently dated, what I would consider, the hottest girl I have ever personally known. The relationship she got out of before we had our fling was what I later found out to be a "sugar-daddy" arrangement. She got 90k and a new Accura SUV in a 12 month period. The last time I went out with her she got hit on by 8 different guys in 90 minutes. While she was sitting next to me with my arm around her.

So would this girl in the article get free stuff all the time? Sure! She isn't in sugar daddy league, but never underestimate men in their attempts to woo a woman. All I had to buy her was a ticket to HUMP! Some of the best money I ever spent.
Posted by wisepunk on April 3, 2012 at 2:24 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 22
Regardless of this particular chick, I've always felt that if they so desired, attractive women could get away without ever paying for anything.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on April 3, 2012 at 2:27 PM · Report this
I've heard that Britons have a sense of humor. They're also literate. And, it's not unheard of for some newspapers to employ writers to write funny columns. You don't suppose...?
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on April 3, 2012 at 2:27 PM · Report this
Luisa 24
"Samantha Brick" is a clever nom de plume, I must say. But this article, and the rest of her "journalism" on the Daily Mail, are all stinky sludge. Too much BS about women being nasty to each other. My guess? Samantha is a man who has watched "Faster Pussy Cat! Kill!! Kill!!" hundreds of times. And he has been routinely dissed by women (of all kinds). And his sorry-ass job is writing articles for the Daily Mail.

Pathetic! (The photos are his cousin thrice removed and her boyfriend).
Posted by Luisa on April 3, 2012 at 2:31 PM · Report this
Allyn 25
april fools?
Posted by Allyn on April 3, 2012 at 2:32 PM · Report this
Her skin looks really good.
Posted by suddenlyorcas on April 3, 2012 at 2:33 PM · Report this
@24 Thought something very similar.
Posted by kersy on April 3, 2012 at 2:40 PM · Report this
@18 that is truly some unbelievable shit.
Posted by drivel on April 3, 2012 at 2:43 PM · Report this
I'm sorry but this has to be a joke. If it is not a joke, then I have to re-think my entire understanding of the world. This article as non-joke does not fit within the universe I know.

Or she is deluded and they a somehow laughing at her, which would almost be worse, like giving Will in Seattle an editorial column or something.
Posted by Jude Fawley on April 3, 2012 at 2:44 PM · Report this
The important thing much do they weigh.

Let's ask the website...How Much Do They Weigh .com:

For example, real beauty Gina Lollobrigida:

How Much Does Gina Lollobrigida Weigh?

She is thought to weigh about 124lbs which is 56kg

Zesty...that's Italian!…

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on April 3, 2012 at 2:48 PM · Report this
seandr 32
@13: Or maybe it's her English accent. For me, that can turn a 8 into a 10.

@22: If I list the people in my little corner of the world who lead the most enviable lives, they are mostly attractive women who married well. They get all the perks of wealth without the soul-crushing, artery-hardening effort that usually goes into obtaining and maintaining it. Plenty of time to exercise and socialize. Hired hands to do menial household tasks. And having the power to instantly charm men (and women, at least in my circles) must feel pretty good.
Posted by seandr on April 3, 2012 at 2:50 PM · Report this
@21 pics or it didn't happen.
Posted by EricaP on April 3, 2012 at 2:51 PM · Report this
balderdash 34
Maybe all those women don't like her because she's so #*$&ing vain.

I mean, I hate to victim-blame when it comes to stuff like this. There's a lot of sexism, misogynistic and paternalistic. The benefit of the doubt has been given.

This article is goddamn ridiculous, though.
Posted by balderdash on April 3, 2012 at 2:51 PM · Report this
I'm pretty sure this woman is the same as Qwerty over here. There's a reason women don't like her and it's not her beauty. She protests way too much, and her husband sets off my creep alarm.
Posted by Prettybetsy on April 3, 2012 at 2:51 PM · Report this
Joe Szilagyi 36
What's funny is that directly below her on the sidebar is Blake Lively, and the comments by the English lady made me have a very Guy moment of confusion there, when comparing the two.
Posted by Joe Szilagyi on April 3, 2012 at 2:52 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 37

Like usually attracts like. Thus, take into consideration that her husband is not attractive.
Posted by keshmeshi on April 3, 2012 at 2:54 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 38
And men don't give random women free shit without expecting something in return. That she speaks entirely of the bad way women treat her without mentioning the vitriol she *would* get if men gave her gifts and she gave nothing in return is telling. It's telling of the fact that she has never received a gift from a man she doesn't know.
Posted by keshmeshi on April 3, 2012 at 2:57 PM · Report this
wisepunk 39
@33 friend me on FB.
Posted by wisepunk on April 3, 2012 at 3:00 PM · Report this
Fnarf 40
@23, SOME Brits are literate, and have a sense of humor. Those Brits do not usually go within a thousand yards of the Daily Mail.
Posted by Fnarf on April 3, 2012 at 3:03 PM · Report this
yeah, the writer, whoever she is, is making this shit up. I hope she enjoys life in her delusional fantasy world
Posted by bobbo on April 3, 2012 at 3:03 PM · Report this
wheee, none of my friends have ever asked me to be a bridesmaid either. I never realized it was any sort of snub, but now I know it's just because I am too beeeyoutiful to share their spotlight!!
Posted by genevieve on April 3, 2012 at 3:16 PM · Report this
johnjacobjingleheimerschmidt 43
don't know about her but the husbands kinda hot
Posted by johnjacobjingleheimerschmidt on April 3, 2012 at 3:40 PM · Report this
@40 There are also Americans who find the folksy little anecdotes in Readers Digest hilarious. I know, because some of them are my elderly relatives who can't resist sharing. Sigh.

I wasn't implying that I found her stuff personally funny, only that I think I recognize it as serving some permutation of dry, "sophisticated" humor of a certain crowd. All I can say is, I pity that crowd and am glad I don't know any of them or they'd be sending me annoying clippings and URLs in their enthusiasm to spread their enjoyment. (As if I wasn't sufficiently annoyed already by all the Readers Digest clippings.)

And by "literate," I meant they read and write for enjoyment, not that I necessarily appreciate what passes for intellect.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on April 3, 2012 at 4:49 PM · Report this
Vince 45
I think she's transgendered. It just feels like it. Anyway, plenty of less pretty women take advantage of men and men like it. It's called flirting fercrissake.
Posted by Vince on April 3, 2012 at 4:57 PM · Report this
tainte 46
Posted by tainte on April 3, 2012 at 5:11 PM · Report this
SPG 47
When I used to fly every week (before 2000 mind you) I'd get freebies and upgrades all the time. Not frequent flyer perks, but just being pleasant and presentable to the check in staff and gate agents would go very far to getting at a minimum a seat change to one with an empty seat next to you or a full bump to first class. My coworkers weren't ugly, but they rarely if ever got these perks. Why? Attitude. In normal life I'm cynical and easily annoyed, but when it's time to check in for a flight it's showtime! Straighten the collar, smile, be super friendly and ask how they're doing with today's flights. My guess is that if what the woman who wrote that story is telling the truth, she's probably putting on that show 24/7 which would be a living hell in exchange for a couple drinks.
Posted by SPG on April 3, 2012 at 5:20 PM · Report this
Stiny 49
The poor, poor thing. How does she ever manage?

I'd never trade 50 IQ points for 50 pounds (the loss of both would take me to so-called normal), but it really irks me when beautiful women complain about how hard it is to be a beautiful woman. Trust me, ladies, it's way harder to be ugly.
Posted by Stiny on April 3, 2012 at 6:49 PM · Report this
It's her tits.
Posted by idaho on April 3, 2012 at 6:52 PM · Report this
DeaconBlues 51
she's boring and she's got needle-teeth
Posted by DeaconBlues on April 3, 2012 at 7:02 PM · Report this
Who cares about the article! I'm wondering why her big girl teeth haven't come in!
Posted by LizzieVeg on April 3, 2012 at 9:57 PM · Report this
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn 53
You have to keep in mind what bad teeth the rest of the women in the UK have. She's the pick of the litter.
Posted by Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn on April 3, 2012 at 11:05 PM · Report this
The Daily Mail is a troll. A troll that makes money from your clicks. A wealthy troll that makes money from your clicks.
Posted by diner mo on April 4, 2012 at 4:37 AM · Report this
#8 FTW.

Is that one titty trying to escape?
Posted by HOT PUSSY on April 4, 2012 at 7:56 AM · Report this
Theodore Gorath 56
Wow, she must be really deluded to think all those things she said actually happened, or just have such low self-esteem that she needs to make up all those stories.

Posted by Theodore Gorath on April 4, 2012 at 8:42 AM · Report this
fucking hilarious!!
Posted by joemomma on April 4, 2012 at 3:44 PM · Report this
Just so you know, you are all terribly people who made this poor 'pretty' lady cry several times on this, the worst day of her life.

Well played.
Posted by catballou on April 4, 2012 at 6:38 PM · Report this
Posted by kitschnsync on April 5, 2012 at 10:49 AM · Report this
This woman is not very attractive, so it is probably the smile and friendly manner that gets her all that free stuff. Smiling a lot is a sign of submission, and men probably like that.

Similarly, I doubt it's her appearance that's costing her friends. That chick in the car probably just didn't see her (probably focusing on the road).

It's a lot easier to say to oneself, "I lost that friend/contract/promotion because others are jealous of my beauty/blinded by my weight/racist/sexist!" than "Hm, maybe it was at least partially my own fault."
Posted by DRF on April 5, 2012 at 3:03 PM · Report this
aureolaborealis 61
They're cute. For a British caravan park. Or Sturgis.

I got an upgrade to first class on a flight across the Pacific back when I was in the bloom of youth. The nice male flight attendant swooped back into steerage, where I was sitting, and said, "Get your things together and come with me." Then I was up front, drinking champagne. Terrible, terrible stuff. I still curl up and cry in the shower every day.

FWIW: I was trapped by a baby while she was being interviewed on some terrible morning show today, and her deal is that she used to be what she considered to be fat and ugly. Then she lost a bunch of weight and died her hair blonde, and was fascinated by the instant change in how people treated her.
Posted by aureolaborealis on April 6, 2012 at 5:09 PM · Report this
aureolaborealis 63
decode(@61,"died","dyed", @61)
Posted by aureolaborealis on April 6, 2012 at 5:51 PM · Report this

Add a comment

Commenting on this item is available only to registered commenters.

All contents © Index Newspapers, LLC
1535 11th Ave (Third Floor), Seattle, WA 98122
Contact | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | Takedown Policy