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Monday, April 23, 2012

Savage Love About Those Asswipes

Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Apr 23, 2012 at 4:13 PM

I just had to write you about your response to ASS who gave anal desensitizing wipes out to students during a sex week event. You said that you didn't think anyone could be harmed by these wipes. I completely disagree. I own a sex-positive toy shop in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. We carefully check the ingredients of all the products we sell and of all the products customers ask us about. I've looked into this product. These wipes are a bad idea for two reasons. First, your assertion that they couldn't contain a pharmaceutical-grade topical anaesthetic is not entirely correct. These wipes have benzocaine in them. Yes, it is a small amount but it is benzocaine, a drug used to numb pain. Making your butt numb, or even making it tingle, interferes with your ability to feel exactly what's going on and to know if something bad might be happening. You can do a surprising amount of damage to anal tissue before you realize it if your butt is numbed out. Second, these types of topical creams, sprays and wipes can be very irritating. Often they also contain menthol or peppermint oil. No matter how careful you are, there is likely to be some minor tearing or abrasion during anal sex. Menthol in those is a bitch! It will sting. And it will sting for a long time. It will also inflame and irritate the area preventing it from healing quickly. That inflamed and irritated area is then a great place for bacteria and viruses to find a way into the bloodstream. I do not know if this same thing happens with benzocaine, but I do know it happens with other products like this. Even when there is no menthol or peppermint oil in the product, other ingrdients in the products like oils, glycerin, propylene glycol, etc. can find their way into tears cause inflammation and infection due to the increased likelihood of you having caused damage to your anal tissue from being too numbed out to know. The best way to avoid pain and increase comfort during anal sex is exactly what you described in the previous letter.

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Comments (23) RSS

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Headline made me expect Republicans, not Albertans.

Posted by gloomy gus on April 23, 2012 at 4:35 PM

Anal Wipes would be a good name for a band.

Posted by Vince on April 23, 2012 at 4:42 PM

Dan, you must be pretty damn busy these days. Almost no slogging, and the SLLOTD posts don't even require you to answer them. Don't you love us anymore?

Posted by SeattleKim on April 23, 2012 at 4:46 PM

Wait, your ass gets a little raw during sex, and because there was a desensitizing wipe, suddenly you end up septic with a disseminated bacterial infection? Or systemic viral infection due to... what exactly? HSV? HPV? Common cold? Gimme a break.

I agree this is a stupid product looking for a purpose, and capitalizing on people's fears of anal when they should be focused on finding a gentle and patient teacher, but hell let's not make shit up either.

Posted by yonush18 on April 23, 2012 at 5:39 PM

relax, people.
anal is 100% Safe&Foolproof.....

Posted by ....pay no attention to the burning or oozing on April 23, 2012 at 6:23 PM

Fake! There's no sex in Alberta.

Posted by sirkowski

on April 23, 2012 at 6:51 PM

@1: There's not a lot of difference.

Posted by mubhappy on April 23, 2012 at 7:06 PM

@4 I always find it strange how many people have not heard of e. coli. I bet you are the type who doesn't wash your hands after urinating.

Posted by TheLastComment on April 23, 2012 at 7:17 PM

I'll admit to using anal eaze and it was helpful. It definitely didn't remove all sensation. I put it on right before he came over so maybe it had worn off by the time we got to the bedroom. I've found pot works better to relax me though, so I don't use it. I also didn't have the most gentle partner, which I realized by reading Dan's column. I ended up sending him Dan's tips for anal and gave him another chance and he was still too rough, so I cut him off.

Posted by Be nice, I'm new on April 23, 2012 at 7:34 PM

@4
You are aware there is a REASON women are supposed to wipe from front to back and not back to front, right? Hint: it has to do with POOP. Yes, that's right, POOP is full of all kinds of bacteria. Now, even if you get your butt all squeaky clean during the anal sex, so gloriously clean that there are no bacteria to get into any tear you make, that butt isn't going to stay clean for very long; shit will soon work its way down the pipe, leading to a glorious poop on cut extravaganza.

To put it simply, would you rub poop on a cut on your finger? I'm guessing not. But if you have a cut on your butt, there's no way to keep poop off it for long. Thus, the only way to avoid poop on cut action is to avoid the cut.

@6
Tee hee!

Posted by Lorran on April 23, 2012 at 7:36 PM

People with hemorrhoids don't automatically get nasty infections from poop getting in their open wounds....not that I'm advocating for anal sex practices that will result in injury, but it seems like the danger of infection from anal fissure may be being overstated by some folks here, that sort of thing happens without anal sex with some frequency.

Posted by sh*t happens on April 23, 2012 at 8:08 PM

OMG we're all gonna die from germs and butt wipes!!!!!

Posted by seandr on April 23, 2012 at 9:30 PM

Seems like @4's point is very similar to @12-Seandr's. Add me to the chorus.
Sheesh- you play with a poop chute, then worry about the bacteria level. Asswipes or no- same germs, same playspace, same risks.
ZZZZZZZzzzzzz........

Posted by OutInBumF on April 23, 2012 at 11:47 PM

@8, unless you have a UTI, your pee is sterile, but your unwashed hands certainly are not. I am not an epidemiologist, but washing your hands ~before touching your privates would seem to make more sense than washing them after.

Posted by drewm1980 on April 23, 2012 at 11:48 PM

5, you're doing it wrong. Sorry that you're experiencing burning and oozing though. Maybe you should write Dan about that.

Posted by Rob in Baltimore

on April 24, 2012 at 4:07 AM

15
good to hear from the 39%.....

Posted by speaking of asswipes..... on April 24, 2012 at 4:55 AM

@14 Urine is, in fact, sterile, but you genitals are far from sterile. You don't have to be a doctor to figure this out. Bacteria from your intestines crawl all over your ass and crotch. It is impossible to make that area clean. Your hands will never be free of bacteria either, but your intestines produce dangerous bacteria that is not found anywhere else on the human body.

Posted by TheLastComment on April 24, 2012 at 7:16 AM

14
you could lick your partner's asshole clean before you touched it with your hands, if you are worried about germs.....

Posted by Rimming is 100%Safe&Foolproof on April 24, 2012 at 8:28 AM

15 http://techcrunch.com/2012/01/26/android… I do own an Android tablet. How did you know?

18, You're into scat play? It's not my thing, but to each his own, I guess.

Posted by Rob in Baltimore

on April 24, 2012 at 8:48 AM

My Comment at 19 was meant to be directed at 16, not 15.

Posted by Rob in Baltimore

on April 24, 2012 at 11:07 AM

@17

OK, if everyone's crotch is covered - COVERED - in crawling intestinal bacteria, how come I've never got an upset stomach from going down on a girl unprotected, ever? Should I bleach my dick before a girl sucks me off?

Seems strange that if touching your penis is so very very risky regarding dangerous bacteria not found anywhere else on the human body, yet sucking one isn't so much of a problem.

I'm with 14, my penis is clearly cleaner than my hands.

Posted by Los_del_Mango on April 24, 2012 at 4:04 PM

Also @18 - hee hee hee!

Posted by Los_del_Mango on April 24, 2012 at 4:08 PM

@21 I don't feel like explaining the merits of hand washing. There are tons of statistics available that prove the merits of washing your hands, you can google it. I have no idea what the risks of going down are, but since you probably touch things with your hands more than you touch them with your tongue, I would guess that you are not going to spread a ton of diseases in that manner.

Posted by TheLastComment on April 25, 2012 at 6:09 PM