...that you will not know the winner of this year's RuPaul's Drag Race.

Will Ru reward the consistency and professionalism of Chad Michaels? Or the avant garde theatricality of Sharon Needles? Or the skin-of-her-teeth suckiness of Phi-Phi O'IShouldn'tBeHere? Tune in tonight and find out.

In the meantime, I'd like to share a story. Roughly three weeks ago, my guy Jake exposed our dear friends Kathryn and Barry to their first episode of RuPaul's Drag Race on Netflix Streaming. Since then, they have not only torn through all available episodes of all available seasons, but also managed to touch Michelle Visage's hair. "I'm touching Michelle Visage's hair!" Barry texted me last Thursday night from L.A., where he and Kathryn were enjoying themselves at the WOW Report mixer. Here's a pic of them with WOW Reporter James St. James (who is not only smart and hilarious, but knows someone who killed someone!)

The point: True friends are ones who'll travel to a distant nightclub to touch the hair of a person who appears on a television show you like.