If only it were a pit bull:
A Lake in the Hills woman bit the family dog after returning home drunk over the weekend, police said Monday.The bulldog stood its ground and bit the pretty woman in self-defense.
Analise J. Garner, 19, of the 300 block of Village Creek Drive, was charged with animal cruelty, domestic battery and underage drinking...
...Police said the family’s 80-pound English bulldog had three bite marks on its back. Puncture marks were visible against the dog’s white fur, police said.