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Wednesday, May 2, 2012

A Critical Overview of The Stranger

Posted by on Wed, May 2, 2012 at 9:00 AM

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We're observing Slog silence from now until 11 a.m. while we have an editorial meeting, but look—we made an entire paper's worth of stuff for you! Here's what Gerard "Guy Fawkes" Fichtner has to say.

A NOTE TO OUR READERS: As you have undoubtedly heard, The Stranger's public editor, A. Birch Steen, passed away two weeks ago. Along with a tremendous outpouring of cards, flowers, and supportive notes, the offices have been deluged with applicants for the public editor position. Here's this week's candidate.

The Stranger? Who cares? I guess when I was a kid, I thought it was kind of funny or something, but now they're the biggest corporate sellouts, like, ever. Look, I'm blowing down to Portland right now (the pigs are on to me after an action I was part of at the General Strike), but I guess I have a minute to speak truth to power.

It's kind of sad to think that The Stranger was on the fringe of society at one point, because they're such running dog lackeys now. I guess sometimes CHARLES MUDEDE is kind of cool—at least he writes about Marxism—but he spends way too much time talking about things that don't matter, like science books by white guys. He's like the token black dude and the token socialist all rolled into one, which is, like, big whoop for you.

Instead of reviewing real films—I haven't seen one mention of Occupy: The Movie in The Stranger, ever—they waste time on Disneyfied shit like The Avengers and other opiates for the sheeple. All the arts coverage is super-boring crap about the kind of airport-friendly pabulum you'd find in, like, Kansas or something. Where's the coverage of Seattle's spoken-word scene? That's where the truth is coming from now. Why isn't the visual art section all about street art by now? That is the real art of the people, but JEN GRAVES is still dicking around in museums—or worse, galleries that show street art, as if that makes any fucking sense. She's like some washed-up old peacock, driving up the value on the academic-industrial-complex-funded "fine arts" bourgeois galleries that are gentrifying the good neighborhoods around town, social justice be damned.

The news section does actually mention the May Day General Strike, but of course The Stranger just shoehorned in a bunch of photos at the last minute while continuing to act as a mouthpiece for the mayor, the SPD, and the capitalist corporate system. "News"? More like "Status Quo." And while we're talking about status quos, Dan Savage keeps up his propaganda campaign for cisgender privilege in the back of the paper. There's only a place for you in The Stranger if you propagate preexisting hierarchies and don't ask any questions.

Don't even get me started on the sham The Stranger is going to perpetuate on the masses this November. It's going to be Tweedledee versus Tweedledum, and we're supposed to care that one of the rich dudes is, like, half black or whatever? They're all neocons, except for Ron Paul and maybe Gary Johnson. Piece-of-shit corporatist sellout rags like The Stranger aren't part of the solution. Read Tides of Flame for that.

 

Comments (22) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
Fnarf 1
Um, no.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on May 2, 2012 at 9:12 AM
ciennasmommy 2
Jesus on a number 2 cross....just resurrect the rotting corpse of the old guy. Or bury these two together.
Posted by ciennasmommy http://zeke.typepad.com on May 2, 2012 at 9:24 AM
Unregistered User 3
I chuckled
Posted by Unregistered User on May 2, 2012 at 9:26 AM
4
is there no way to use unholy magic or some sort of secret nazi superscience to ressurect Steen?
Posted by Revcom on May 2, 2012 at 9:27 AM
Purocuyu 5
Are we voting? Cause I'd rather read barcodes than this guy again.

Please, no more.
Posted by Purocuyu http://littlevictorygarden.tumblr.com on May 2, 2012 at 9:37 AM
6
Strikes me as put-on. No one is this angsty, right? Or this simple-minded whilst using decent vocabulary.
Posted by hmmm_hmmm on May 2, 2012 at 9:43 AM
7
Ahh the anti-hipster hipster! What a proud and original concept! SO brave!

Thanks, Pulitzer Prize winning "The Stranger"!
Posted by NancyBalls on May 2, 2012 at 9:49 AM
8
Fail.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on May 2, 2012 at 9:57 AM
9
no.
Posted by Lalala on May 2, 2012 at 10:03 AM
leek 10
Aw, come on. It was kind of funny, it's just that having to read it more than once would suck.

BRING BACK STEEN
Posted by leek on May 2, 2012 at 10:11 AM
11
Wow, that's a great cover on the new issue.
Posted by seatackled on May 2, 2012 at 10:24 AM
GlamB0t 12
Nooooooooope.
Posted by GlamB0t on May 2, 2012 at 10:50 AM
seattlestew 13
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Posted by seattlestew on May 2, 2012 at 11:31 AM
Will in Seattle 14
Tell this Portland Anarchist Thug to go back home and stop jacking our Seattle large scale peaceful protests.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on May 2, 2012 at 11:46 AM
Will in Seattle 15
@10 for the Stick An Electrode In Him And Revive Him As A Zombie win.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on May 2, 2012 at 11:47 AM
Canadian Nurse 16
I agree with @11. Great cover.
Posted by Canadian Nurse on May 2, 2012 at 12:26 PM
Posted by edlorah on May 2, 2012 at 12:27 PM
ScienceNerd 18
BIRCH PLEASE COME BAAAAACK. *cries in a dark corner*
Posted by ScienceNerd on May 2, 2012 at 12:27 PM
19
Yeah, resurrect Steen!

If not, A. Birch must have a brother, sister, cousin or some other close relative (a B. or C. Birch?) who can step into the breech here and try and make things whole.
Posted by gnossos on May 2, 2012 at 1:21 PM
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn 20
I LIKE this guy. A black block Paultard who speaks truth to the cis-whatever. I want to know more about him. Did he go to Evergreen? How long are his dreads? Does he have a girlfriend? Does she work?
Posted by Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn http://youtu.be/zu-akdyxpUc on May 2, 2012 at 2:35 PM
Tom X 21
The use of the word "sheeple" disqualifies him from everything, including health care, forever.
Posted by Tom X on May 2, 2012 at 2:35 PM
22
It's better to just kill the whole critical overview piece all together and let us whine about missing Birch than put us through a rotating cast of caricature writers. Or better yet, get Hulk to do this piece a couple of times until Birch "wanders back into the office after digging himself out of his own grave because you idiots buried him alive."
Posted by seniorrobot on May 2, 2012 at 11:18 PM

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