Confidential to NOM's Brian Brown: You're On, Motherfucker

Comments

1
on like donkey kong.
2
Yes.
3
I'm getting moist just thinking about it!
4
I'm hoping I can afford tickets to this live in person. Else, please tell me the stranger Gods will livestream this.

Please. Please. I need this like WHOA!
5
Yay yay yay!!!
6
$10 says this douchebag will cancel at the last minute, citing some specious concern with the venue, ala Ken Hutcherson.

But in case by some miracle he does turn up, please please please do this in Seattle so I can attend!!!

7
Unfortunately, I think it's going to turn out like the last Great Debate, where the other side, when they learned they couldn't stack the deck, came up with myriad reasons why they couldn't appear so the event had to be canceled. Don't get me wrong! I'd almost give a testicle to watch and hear Dan shred Brown like he was making Cole Slaw for a thousand! I hope the whole thing gets Broadcast! Anyone got Rachel Maddow's number? I think she would love to be on the sidelines of this!
8
We need to start a betting pool on what kind of excuses this NOMnut will use to back out.

NOMnuts. I love that.
9
YES!!!! You go Dan: kick him in his scriptural nuts.
10
Fucking rad.
11
Wow! Big nuts! No idea which way this will go.

But did Savage just throw all nicety out the window and devolve this into a chance to beat the crap out of Brown verbally to the point he gives up and walks out? While that would be just desert for the meal Brown and his ilk have served, it may not be a very good PR move. Maybe Savage has had enough, and is going with, "No more Mr. Nice Guy."

Let's just make sure some money gets made, ok? This is the US, after all.

12
YES OH MY GOD. Do tickets come with rotten vegetables to throw at Brian Brown?
13
He should be like Rocky Balboa in Rocky IV, and do it on Xmas, for no money, in the Soviet Union...no, wait...in Texas!
14
JenV@ 6...

I'll kick in another sawbuck...the chickenshit won't show.

15
Please, Dan, don't let this guy weasel out of it. Or if he does succeed in getting out of it, please make it abundantly clear that he is the one pulling out, and for reasons that expose his idiocy. Pleeeeeeze!

Oh, and stop calling him names until afterward, or he might claim that he is simply refusing to debate someone who cannot have a civil conversation. Just a suggestion.
16
...then as the fight drags on, the newscasters covering the debate will say, "...a few cheers, now, for Dan Savage," as Savage starts to win over the crowd.

Then, after Savage wins by unleashing a series of rational blows, pummelling Brown in to submission, he'll give a speech to the crowd about change.
17
Unnamed "scheduling conflicts" will arise. You'll see.
18
No possible way Brown follows through with this, but OH MY SWEET LORD YES.
19
I agree with all those above who say there's no friggin' way Brown will actually show up. You should still totally call his bluff, though. Maybe have someone on tap to come up and argue the NOM position in his place, so it won't look unfair. Is RuPaul doing anything that night?
20
YES YES YES!!!
21
Make this a charity event with all proceeds going to the Trevor Project (or any anti-bullying organization). Then if he backs out, he'll look bad because he's screwing a charity that helps kids.
22
@3 - Me, too. I need a towel.
23
Dan,
You need to keep a record of these.
Win 0
Lose 0
Draw 0
Other side threw down the gauntlet and then ran away 1 (soon to be 2)
24
He so won't show. If he did,though, he'd better wear a Depends. Dan would argue the shit out of that guy's ass.
25
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
26
@21 - That wouldn't work, as this guy seems to be on the record as thinking that any anti-bullying organization is just a front for the radical gayification and atheist purification of our nation.

But oh man, I so hope this happens.
27
Be sure to choose a place with metal detectors. It wouldn't be surprising if his followers arrived packing.
28

As for time and place ...
How about 3PM on July 29, 2012 in Dore Alley, San Francisco?
http://www.folsomstreetfair.com/alley/
29
This makes me happy.
30
Fight! Fight! Fight!
31
He'll mop the floor with you, Dan. Because he'll start to cry as soon as you open your mouth.
32
I can't decide if my favorite popcorn flavor is Parmesan cheese, nutritional yeast, or Japanese togorashi pepper. Let's make all three!
33
Ah hell yeah.
34
It should be WITHOUT a live audience, but like the presidential debates. very specific questions from a moderator, I CANT WAIT>
35
(Dan uses frequent-flyer miles to book 2-hour charter on Virgin Galactic, stops at Ace Hardware to buy 2 rolls of Gorilla Tape...)
36
If this happens... it is going to go down in history.
Set the date so that I have enough time to visit and watch!
Right on Dan!
37
(...condoms, lube, and a parachute.)
38
Joel Connely has already picked this up. It is on the Seattle Times website, second title from the top on the opening page.
39
Oops. Sorry. I meant Seattle PI, not Seattle Times.
40
Squeee!!!
41
It's not going to happen. All he said was any time, any place, so he can't use time and place as excuses, but he can say that the challenge was made with the understanding that terms would have to be established, and Dan and he won't be able to agree to terms.

As for money, why would anyone want to pay for this? The spectacle would be pretty awesome, since I'm confident Dan would wipe his ass on the ground. But it seems that any proceeds would be split between NOM and Dan's charity, and I wouldn't want a cent to go to NOM. (And I think profit-sharing would be one of those unstated conditions, so he'd say, no, Dan can't set the time and then take 100% of the gate for It Gets Better.)
42
Hooray hooray!! No way he will show up, but if he does OH YES PLEASE do it in Seattle so I can be there!!
43
YES! Oh damn I so want to see this...but, like many others, all my money bets that BB chickens out.
44
@ Dan

Wow. This will be interesting. Tell him that he needs to address the biblical view of pastor Sean Harris' sermon/ joke on punching four year olds, please.

I'd drop calling him names. That's feeding what seems to be a persecution fetish that many, not all, Christians grumble about.

If he shows or not, he's likely use this as a way to raise funds.

Invest in brown towels. I wise friend once told me that if you wrestle with some full of shit then you get covered in shit. You know him.

You want to borrow one of my Bibles. At one point I had at least 3 translations?
45
Thanks, Dan. You haven't given us enough bad press this last week. Your decision to double down and enrich NOM's fundraising is a bad one. Brian Brown doesn't care whether he beats you or not in a debate. What he cares about is getting up on stage with someone he can portray as an anti-Christian poster boy. You're handing him a gift just by putting your name in the same sentence as him.
46
PLEASE please please please please please do this in Seattle. Please.
47
Do it, Dan! I'd love to see this. If you're face to face it MUST be taped so we can watch it on youtube!
48
# 41 is right. Brown will pretend to agree about a time and place, and then make some kind of insanely one-sided demand about the terms under which the debate must be conducted. Then he'll try to claim Dan is the one who's not being reasonable. Prepare a strategy for that, Dan, 'cause these NOM bozos are nothing if not predictable.
49
Hitch would have been the perfect moderator, but since he's lost to us now, I nominate PZ Myers, Richard Dawkins, Rebecca Watson, or Jen "Blag Hag" McCreight.

If they're busy, then I propose Adam and Jamie of Mythbusters. At least Jamie will be able to keep a straight face. (He scientifically proved a week or two ago that he has no expressions.)

50
Best part of the debate: Brian Brown forced to admit that he thinks parts of the bible are bullshit too! Lobster eating, Gingrich adulterer supporting, non-slave owning DOUCHEBAG.
51
Memo to self-ah. Self-ah: don't pick fights with people who have their own shows on MTV.
52
damn. I was hoping someone took him up on his being-gay-is-a-choice challenge.
53
I tried to post my comment on the NOM website that you should have an escrow deposit contract with them to discourage backing out or impolite shouting down during the show. Still awaiting moderation after four hours. I guess they don't like that idea.
54
@49 - And McCreight is local, too! Oh, this is going to be marvelous.
55
Dan, don't forget to read these books before you go:

1.God: The Failed Hypothesis: How Science Shows That God Does Not Exist, V.Stenger(physicist)

2.Why We Believe in God(s): A Concise Guide to the Science of Faith, A. Thompson(psychiatrist)

3.Religion Explained, P.Boyer(cognitive anthropologist)

4.The Christian Delusion: Why Faith Fails, Loftus, Barker

5.Letter to a Christian Nation, Sam Harris
56
I was hoping for this. Dan'll make mincemeat of the poor soul, but I won't shed a tear of pity. He deserves it. Dan's a jillion times smarter than he is and probably better informed about the Bible too. I can't wait!
57
I'm with @52: I thought somebody had accepted Dan's choicer challenge. Oh well, this will be good too, if BB shows up. I think @41 and @48 are right. It's a classic right-wing technique.
58
@55, that's the wrong approach.

Brown would like nothing more than to give Savage a podium from which he argues against faith. Brown wants to make it "the Gays vs. the Christians," much like Osama bin Laden wanted to see "the West vs. Islam."

Brown doesn't care what SLOG readers think after the debate. Brown wants footage that he can use to solicit money from his supporters.
59
Don't forget to have a competent moderator and set up the debate as an actual debate with rules agreed on beforehand.
60
Oh please, PUHLEEEEEEEZE let this be in a large public venue with ALL media outlets welcome!!!!

This has to exponentially be the largest "foot in mouth" I've ever witnessed in my 47 years on this planet by this sinful "christian" glutton!!!!
61
I haven't been this excited since...well...I'm not sure I've EVER been this excited. Oh, Dan - I love you Dan!!!!!!!!
62
Please please please make sure this recorded and streamed somewhere.
63
Oh please sell tickets to this. Make it pay per view with all proceeds to go to Trevor project. Yes. I can't wait to see this, BrownButt doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell.
64
OMGIWILLDRIVEALLNIGHTANDPAYMONEYTOSEETHIS. Holy shit. Holy. Motherfucking. Shit. I would thank the the good sweet baby Jesus, but that just seems wrong in this context. So I'll just say PLEASE BE SURE TO HAVE IT IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST WHERE I CAN SEE IT LIVE. PLEASE. Or video. LOVE YOU DAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
65
@58: I'm with you, and I also think that 49 has the wrong approach. I feel like it would be better to have a moderator who is neutral, or at least has no obvious sympathy to one side or the other. Gary Wills seems like a good choice- a man of faith, but not uncritical of the Church.
66
The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, Inc. of San Francisco cordially invite you to hold the debate here in SF at the Gay Community Center. The Sisters would moderate the event and make all the arrangements.

Sister Zsa Zsa Glamour, SPI
zsa@thesisters.org
67
Brian Brown may be an easily-flustered bigot, but he's no idiot. He won't show, he'll cancel, he'll make any excuse he can including hiring a thug to break his leg on the steps of the buidling, but he won't make good. That's for sure. Bigots are cowards.
68
... but just in case... @15 is right.
69
You are a wonderful example of intelligence, compassion, and courage, Dan. Thank you for standing up and speaking out for truth.
70
Would have it been THAT hard for Dan Savage to show a little class in his response. I'm all for "Bring It On" but name calling just makes him look like a bullying juvenile.
71
Yeah, I kind of agree with the other posters. Brown said that DAN could name the time and place, but unless it's on Fox News with Megyn or one of the other lap dogs moderating, this shit ain't gonna happen. Those folks only like to debate when the deck is stacked for them. Any other location will be "well, we didn't want to go there because THEY'RE biased!" If the debate DOES happen, Brown will be on Fox News within the hour following the debate making it sound like he won.
72
Maybe it's just me, but would have been so tough for Dan Savage to respond to the challenge without resorting yet again to bullying-like name-calling that makes him look juvenile?
73
Hooray!
74
Even the idea of this taking place fills me with so much glee...
75
Oh please, @70/72, if Brown's eyes are so sensitive he can't handle seeing a little pre-debate trash-talk, then he's already lost.
76
You just go on and kick that bitch's ass Honey
77
Girl, hold my gold!
78
this needs to happen in new york, and im TOTALLY not saying that for selfish reasons. 9_9
79
I. Am. So. Happy. PLEASE let it be in Seattle.
Ohhhhhhh. Oh I just thought of something. Could we have Matt in Denver or Venomlash vs Seattleblues as an opening act? Although he'd probably punk out too. Ah well.
80
Daniel Savage,
Engaging Brian Brown would be like swatting a fly with shovel. DO IT SOON!

Love,
Your erstwhile fan
81
Pick a well informed neutral moderator and 7 equally well informed neutral judges approved by both sides and allow each one to ask a question. Trade off who answers the question first and have a preset time limit, 3 minutes per answer, and make the judging a point system based on knowledge of the subject, most well informed answer, etc. Allow a 2 minute closing argument each. Add up the points, if Brian wins Dan will go to Sunday mass with him and The Stranger will not use Brian's name on SLOG for 1 year. If Dan wins, Brian has to go with Dan on an overnight stay to an LGBT youth crisis center and NOM must post an It Gets Better video of Dan's choice.

Just thinking.
82
Dan dear, would you do me the honor of letting me "hold your gold" during this delicious altercation?
83
Unfortunately, it probably will never happen just like that old fart Hutcherson cancelled so will Brown.
84
Rip off his head and shit down his neck, Dan! (metaphorically speaking of course)And when you're through, sing this --

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEKuGcmW7…
85
He is deformed, crooked, old and sere,
Ill-faced, worse bodied, shapeless everywhere;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind;
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
(The Comedy of Errors)

Smack that nasty goof down good, Dan!
86
So where to hold this debate? I'm thinking live from the infamous men's room at the Minneapolis Airport. Or Newt Gingrich's bedroom.
87
Make sure the debate starts off with each of you getting a fair few minutes to introduce yourselves. Use your introduction to tell the audience about your relationship with your mom and your catholic roots. It'll make Brown look like an asshole by disproving his victimization fetish before the debate's even started.
88
This came right out of the Bill O'Reilly book of fake challenges, and chest pounding Republican dumb shit.
89
hey dan...thanks.
90
also...keep being brave. I looked at that nom page and some of the comments and with all due respect to them....THEY ARE NUTTIER THAN THE JIF HEADQUARTERS. Refrain from what can be seen as crass language, but speak confidently and truthfully...and respectfully. Simple basic truths can shatter their arguments and expose contradictions....they revel in intimidation and refusal to acknowledge certain points. you are in the right and as a gay man I'm happy to have someone like you representing me..You are doing great. MWAH. Thanks.
91
Please can we make sure this is recorded and available to those of us who don't live in the US??
92
Madison Square Garden with live television coverage on pay-per-view! $50K to each of you with the balance to a legitimate, secular, apolitical charity (e.g. Unicef, Doctors Without Borders, International Red Cross, etc.)
93
As great as it would be to see this in person, my vote is no live audience. No cheers, jeers, or gladiatorial ring - just good questions and serious debate. If the NOM supporters are there, the cheering and boos will undermine Dan's logic and interrupt him frequently. Either no audience, or strict rules against audience participation.
94
Oh HELLS Yes!
95
I know that Dan will absolutely trash any of NOM's feeble arguments against gay marriage. HOWEVER ... I hope that Dan will choose his words carefully. NOM and its allies have shown they have no qualms about taking bits and pieces out of context and portraying gays as a bunch of rabid, profane, religion-hating fascists while ignoring any valid point we ever have to make.

So Dan ... you can win this argument. PLEASE ... for the sake of the cause ... reign in the salty language and generic diatribes and instead rely on your eloquence and passion as well as the TRUTH!
96
i'm sure you know plenty of progressive biblical scholars, theologians and pastors who can give you some tips -- but if you don't, my church, old first reformed united church of christ in philadelphia, is full of them and i'd be very happy to put you in touch!
97
You will clean his clock concerning substance. Try to limit the use of four-letter words because that's the only thing he will obsess about, during the debate and later, in an attempt to detract from the fact that you're right.
98
Savage is quick, witty, charismatic, charming, and informed. I cannot imagine him being bested in any way by Brian Brown.
99
Dan, you will clean his clock as far as substance. Try to limit the four-letter words because he will obsess about that the during and after the debate in an attempt to distract from the fact that you are right.
100
#99 is right on that score: Why give him ammunition, which he is looking for to post on his NOM blog? Keep four-letter words and sexual references out of it; just go with your knowledge on the values (of Christianity) which place love, diversity, and human progress above the letter of the law.