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We're observing Slog silence from now until 11 a.m. while we have an editorial meeting, but look—we made an entire paper's worth of stuff for you!

IN THE SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF WASHINGTON IN AND FOR THE COUNTY OF KING

SUBPOENA DUCES TECUM FOR RESEARCH MATERIALS

TO: The Stranger
1535 11th Avenue
Third Floor
Seattle, WA 98122

YOU ARE HEREBY COMMANDED to appear at Seattle Police Department (SPD) – Headquarters, 610 Fifth Avenue, P.O. Box 34986, Seattle, WA 98124, on May 9, 2012, at the hour of 9:00 a.m., and bring with you the following record(s):

1. Materials (cassette tapes, notebooks, journals) employed in the production of BRENDAN KILEY's article "Anarchy Is Boring." Mr. Kiley alludes to a Greek anarchist who applied electrodes to his scalp. Please provide the legal name and current whereabouts of that individual. In addition, please provide legal names and contact information for the following individuals mentioned in the article: "punk rockers," "radical hippies," and "romantic young men at house parties." Additionally, Mr. Kiley makes reference to "100 people wearing black clothes and bandannas over their faces." Please provide an alphabetized list of contact information and known aliases for those 100 people.

2. Materials (paintbrushes, reference texts, hamburger wrappers) in reference to "The Devil Eats at Dick's" by DEREK ERDMAN. In his article about an artist by the name of Darryl Ary, Mr. Erdman refers to two known socialist provocateurs (one Salvador DalĂŤ and one Pablo Picasso). Mr. Erdman shall supply any further information on the ties between the Socialist Party and Mr. Ary.

3. Materials (cassette tapes, notepads, compact discs) involved in the production of DAVE SEGAL's interview with a music-making organization by the name of Psychic Circle. The article entitled "The iest
People" is thick with continual references to the "forefront of hauntology." With regard to SPD's recent investigations of satanic worship among Dungeons & Dragons board-game clubs in the Ravenna neighborhood, Mr. Segal shall provide to SPD any information he may have collected about satanism or role-playing games (RPGs) in the course of researching this article.

PURSUANT TO RCW 10.79.015, the records requested by and through this subpoena have been identified as evidence material to the investigation or prosecution of felonies including, but not limited to, (1) acts of Malicious Mischief of Wells Fargo Bank located at 1215 4 Avenue, a Porsche 911 parked 5th Avenue/Seneca Street, Homestreet Bank located at 1314 6 Avenue, New Saigon Restaurant at 1529 6 Avenue, Forever 21 at 601 Pine Street, American Apparel at 1504 6 Avenue, Niketown at 1500 6 Avenue, Fox Grill at 1522 6 Avenue, yet to be reported property damage; (2) the signing of the Affordable Care Act by Barack Hussein Obama on March 23, 2010, at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, District of Columbia, 20500; and (3) several nuisance reports filed by anonymous Ravenna citizens.

FAILURE TO COMPLY MAY BE CONSIDERED CONTEMPT OF COURT.