The gay pride parade's theme this year isn't about gay marriage, which would make sense—because gay marriage is heading to the assfucking fall ballot—but instead pride this year is about "The Many Faces of Pride."

Yet the gays are not to be outdone in thematic non sequiturs.

Organizers of the Seattle Hempfest have also announced their theme: "Building Bridges." As the group explains in Dope Magazine this month, it's a recognition of the newly built pedestrian overpass into the park from lower Queen Anne. Forget about the only pot legalization initiative to ever reach the ballot in Washington State... there's an overpass to celebrate!! Hempfest organizers add that they're building metaphorical bridges within the pot movement, too, because some potheads oppose the legalization initiative. What a great proverbial bridge to build, welcoming those who oppose the state's first shot at legalization. Bridges! To your enemies! Instead of a landmark achievement! How totally gay-pride of them!

Anyway, they're both awful themes. But the pot-huffin', pole-smokin' masses of Slog need to weight in: