Mubarak under lock: Ex-president given life in prison for being a really, really bad person.

Everyone needs some Kofi in the morning: Peacemaker and all-around badass Kofi Annan heads to Syria to wage peace.

A sea of white: Washington selects GOP delegates, Romney gets the most (so far.)

Trombone-d: Tacoma band director leaves school after allegations that he had sex with a student.

My thoughts exactly: To fat people on Bloomberg's soda ban - "please shut the fuck up."

Take it with a grain of salt: Jezebel says crazy-makin' bath salt drug really isn't that bad.

Warren gloves stay off: Fightin' Liz goes after Scott "I know I'm a Douche" Brown again. Why? He said her Native Amercian-ness gave her an advantage.

Going down on us (bad touch): Stocks fall after jobs report. In an unprecedented move, everyone started blaming everybody else.

Tapirs are my favorite animal - they're really weird looking, but oh-so-adorable. Here's some Seattle tapirs to start your day off right: