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Thursday, June 28, 2012

Fabio Is a Star

Posted by on Thu, Jun 28, 2012 at 1:44 PM

Props where props are due. From this week's Last Days:

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  • Patkins

SATURDAY, JUNE 23 In better news, the week continues in Seattle, with a story that happened yesterday but which we are reporting today, for yesterday was devoured by the conviction of Sandusky and this story is too great to be bumped out of print by some predator perv. The setting: Seattle's Interbay neighborhood, where yesterday Hot Tipper Patkins ventured into Whole Foods and received a dazzling faceful of Fabio. As Patkins reports, the great man was there to promote Fabio protein powder and was surrounded by fans and well-wishers, for whom he posed for pictures and autographed lids of his nutritional powder. After dazzling Patkins with his laid-back normality, Fabio revealed himself as a star. "A couple of army reservists from the nearby armory stood in line to have their picture taken with Fabio," reports Patkins. "Afterward, they continued into the store to shop, and Fabio paid for their groceries." (Confidential to the many young folk wondering, "What is a Fabio?" As you should've read in your history books, Fabio invented the cotton gin.)

Still, not even stars are immune to a goose in the face.

UPDATE: Photographic evidence of Fabiosity, courtesy of Slog tipper Loren!

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Comments (16) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
yelahneb 1
Always with the goose thing! It's been 13 years, dammit
Posted by yelahneb http://www.strangebutharmless.com on June 28, 2012 at 1:57 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 2
I'd hit that.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on June 28, 2012 at 2:00 PM · Report this
rob! 3
Little-known fact, there, Normie—back when I had long hair and a ponytail, I was known among my co-workers as "robbio!"
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on June 28, 2012 at 2:06 PM · Report this
Cienna Madrid 4
I saw this vision with mine own two eyes! In person he looked exactly like Gaston's noble steed from Beauty and the Beast.
Posted by Cienna Madrid on June 28, 2012 at 2:12 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 5
I can't believe it's not butter!
Posted by Urgutha Forka on June 28, 2012 at 2:15 PM · Report this
6
never forget a hollywood event i attended in the '90s, where fabio was seated at a table with dr ruth, and they seemed to hit it off in a nice way.

Posted by judybrowni on June 28, 2012 at 2:27 PM · Report this
7
I have a Fabio story. That bastard.

My family was on vacation in Miami. The pinnacle of the vacation was the dinner at the infamous Joe's Stone Crab. If you've never been there... it's amazing. Or it was.

Joe's is old school and does not take reservations. You slip the Maître d' a twenty (or in our case a fifty because there nine of us) and then tell him the password. Yes. There's a password. And fuck you guy's I'm not telling you. Eh. It could be bullshit, anyway.

So we slip the Maître d' some cash and give him the high-sign. And he says "Yes Sir, just twenty minutes!" Where as other people have been waiting for an hour or more. Twenty minutes goes by. And then twenty more. What's up I ask. "Yes Sir, just ten minutes!" Excellent. My mother is beginning to get a bit drunk and on the verge of singing King of the Road. So we better eat soon. Finally the Maître d' saunters over "Your table is r..."

And then suddenly he turns, his eyes brows pop up, and he yells" Ladies and Gentleman - it's FAB-io! FAB-io is here! Right this way FAB-io. And he up and takes that son-of-a-bitch and his entourage to our table.

He then comes back a few minutes later. "Mr. FAB-io isn't it exciting... Oh. You. It will be a half hour... "

'Hey! What about my fifty?"

"Ok...maybe an hour."

OMG.

Posted by tkc on June 28, 2012 at 2:39 PM · Report this
Sir Vic 8
Fabio did not invent the cotton gin.

He invented the hot flash.
Posted by Sir Vic on June 28, 2012 at 4:34 PM · Report this
TVDinner 9
Fabio cured my tape worm. True story.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on June 28, 2012 at 4:49 PM · Report this
leek 10
Alright, that last picture alone has made me suddenly like Fabio. Awesomely adorable.
Posted by leek on June 28, 2012 at 5:55 PM · Report this
11
I was in line right behind them. I have an additional picture of this from the side. Fabio was a very nice guy.
Posted by Ambo on June 28, 2012 at 6:59 PM · Report this
12
It is better to be an old hottie than a young dog.
Posted by Romance Reader on June 28, 2012 at 7:08 PM · Report this
13
I absolutely love that picture of the reservist.
Posted by charity on June 28, 2012 at 7:54 PM · Report this
sirkowski 14
@7 Serves you right.
Posted by sirkowski http://www.missdynamite.com on June 28, 2012 at 8:24 PM · Report this
15
Based on my encounter with him at Whole Foods in another city earlier this year, I concur...he really likes connecting with people...he has a good sense of humor...and he knows WAY more than he should about whey protein.
Posted by Dod on June 28, 2012 at 8:26 PM · Report this
16
Thank goodness my trademark is not shoulder length hair.
Posted by neverbeenthere on June 28, 2012 at 11:07 PM · Report this

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