Props where props are due. From this week's Last Days:
SATURDAY, JUNE 23 In better news, the week continues in Seattle, with a story that happened yesterday but which we are reporting today, for yesterday was devoured by the conviction of Sandusky and this story is too great to be bumped out of print by some predator perv. The setting: Seattle's Interbay neighborhood, where yesterday Hot Tipper Patkins ventured into Whole Foods and received a dazzling faceful of Fabio. As Patkins reports, the great man was there to promote Fabio protein powder and was surrounded by fans and well-wishers, for whom he posed for pictures and autographed lids of his nutritional powder. After dazzling Patkins with his laid-back normality, Fabio revealed himself as a star. "A couple of army reservists from the nearby armory stood in line to have their picture taken with Fabio," reports Patkins. "Afterward, they continued into the store to shop, and Fabio paid for their groceries." (Confidential to the many young folk wondering, "What is a Fabio?" As you should've read in your history books, Fabio invented the cotton gin.)
Still, not even stars are immune to a goose in the face.
UPDATE: Photographic evidence of Fabiosity, courtesy of Slog tipper Loren!