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Sunday, July 15, 2012

It's Okay, Everybody: Mitt "Retired Retroactively" from Bain Capital

Posted by on Sun, Jul 15, 2012 at 10:43 AM

Senior Romney campaign adviser Ed Gillespie is happy to clear all this Bain stuff up, right here and now:

Gillespie on Sunday sought to clarify the matter, saying that Romney initially thought he would be leaving Bain on a temporary basis, but the challenges of the Olympics led him to “retire retroactively.

"There may have been a thought at the time that it could be part time, but it was not part time," Gillespie said.

"He took a leave of absence and in fact he ended up not going back at all, and retired retroactively to 1999 as a result," he added. "He left a life he loved to go to Salt Lake City and help a country he loves more, and somehow Chicago… is trying to make it something sinister."

See? It all makes sense now. Or, no. Wait. In fact, Gillespie just made it twenty million times worse by inserting a wishy-washy nonsense phrase into the conversation that can be easily mocked. "#retroactively" is now trending on Twitter:

Fun-loving Romney-bashing aside, Gillespie's statements don't clear anything up. What about Romney's claims, under oath, that he traveled to Massachusetts to do Bain business during that three-year gap? Did those trips retroactively not happen? Did those SEC filings cease to exist? Did all Bain's layoffs from that time somehow get recalled? I bet the folks whose jobs got outsourced would be excited to hear they're retroactively getting paid for those years.


Comments (38) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
You've all seen the Simpsons time traveling episode where you go back in time and change something. What's the problem.
Posted by wl on July 15, 2012 at 10:57 AM · Report this
Does this mean he retroactively giving back the $100k/yr he was paid for this quantum position he had for those 3 yrs?
Posted by Large Hardon Colluder on July 15, 2012 at 10:58 AM · Report this
@2 Leave it to a republican to tear a hole in space-time and retroactively blame everyone else.
Posted by Large Hardon Colluder on July 15, 2012 at 11:00 AM · Report this
4 Comment Pulled (Spam) Comment Policy
Futz, meant @1. Bad fingers, no cookie for you.
Posted by Large Hardon Colluder on July 15, 2012 at 11:02 AM · Report this
Cato the Younger Younger 6
LOL!!! I love watching the elections in a dying Empire. This is really some funny shit!
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on July 15, 2012 at 11:03 AM · Report this
Matt from Denver 7
I wish YGBKM was here to explain how this is perfectly legit.
Posted by Matt from Denver on July 15, 2012 at 11:04 AM · Report this
He next thing you know it'll be raining doughnuts.
Posted by wl on July 15, 2012 at 11:04 AM · Report this
Gillespie was hilarious on Meet the Press this morning. Frantic change the subject spinning in action.
Posted by Nic in Greenlake on July 15, 2012 at 11:13 AM · Report this
This business about exactly when he left Bain doesn't help Romney's credibility, but after his well publicized flip-flops on issues such as abortion an gun control Romney didn't have much credibility left to lose. I say, meh.
Posted by Ken Mehlman on July 15, 2012 at 11:20 AM · Report this
@7 Well if Schrodinger's cat can be both alive and dead at the same time . . .
Posted by Ken Mehlman on July 15, 2012 at 11:23 AM · Report this
This is the problem - Romney's first job was writing plot continuity for soap operas and comic books.
Posted by Pope Buck I on July 15, 2012 at 11:42 AM · Report this
Why is this so hard for people to understand? He stopped working for Bain in 1999 but retained ownership and control of the company so he could periodical come back and fire people. As he himself has said he likes firing people. By retaining ownership and control of Bain without taking any real responsibility for it. He could pop in now and then when and engage in firing binges, satisfying his addiction with no consequences.

If you think about it, it was a brilliant move.
Posted by Machiavelli was framed on July 15, 2012 at 11:45 AM · Report this
Max Solomon 14
"Chicago"? He's the fucking president, and he lives in DC.

The Republics always have to have a place to Demonize. NYC, SF, Marin, Chicago, Hollywood.
Posted by Max Solomon on July 15, 2012 at 11:46 AM · Report this
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 15
I bet the workers at Steel Dynamics wished he had stayed.

Steel Dynamics, has gone largely overlooked. The steel industry was "hardly a hot startup market" in 1994, but Bain saw potential in the company's "mini-mill" as a way to lower costs. Bain invested $18 million, giving others confidence to invest and helping the company reach the $80 million in seed money it needed to get going.…

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe on July 15, 2012 at 11:47 AM · Report this
MacCrocodile 16
@11 - Oh my god, that's it! Romney worked for and did not work for Bain Capital in superposition. By asking questions and observing the record, we are collapsing the waveform into only one possibility. This could potentially make him retroactively guilty of tax fraud as the tax records (which we may also not see) may not settle on the same version of history!

It all makes so much sense now!
Posted by MacCrocodile on July 15, 2012 at 11:57 AM · Report this
Did you read that link?
"4 good things Bain Capital did on Mitt Romney's watch"

Bain itself is a success

Self-referential much? So out of all those years they could only come up with THREE items so they had to throw in Bain itself to make 4.

And now Romney is running away from Bain's record.
Posted by fairly.unbalanced on July 15, 2012 at 12:02 PM · Report this
bedipped 18
@3, 11
I started to make the “Schrödinger’s Candidate” joke when this latest Romney State of Duplicity arose, and then I googlet.
A Quantum Theory of Mitt Romney
Published: March 31, 2012 NYT
Posted by bedipped on July 15, 2012 at 12:20 PM · Report this
OK, Romney is a fascisti stooge, that's a given, and he was responsible for destroying companies and offshoring jobs, not what what propaganda specialists such as CBS News Correspondent, Dan Anders, spews forth (describing Romney continusouly as an "investor" -- instead of accurately as a private equity leveraged buyout scumbag douchetard).

We expect such misinformation and disinformation from the American Propaganda Networks.

But, unfortunately, President Obama's record ain't much better since he's been the prez:

Signed three more "free trade" agreements to screw workers and those seeking work in America.

Supports the Trans-Pacific Partnership, the ultimate "screw you" to the American worker, and other foreign workers, etc.

Lots of luck in the future, unless Americans living the beer commercial or forever in Playtime USA, come to the senses and finally vote Green!

(And let's never forget whom the Food Safey Czar of the Obama administration is --- former VP from Monsanto --- no wonder they're so obsessed with going after Wikileaks' Julian Assange, and Bradley Manning, for leaking those State Department cables demonstrating who completely the US State Dept. works on behalf of Monsanto's interests, not the interests of the American people.)
Posted by sgt_doom on July 15, 2012 at 1:20 PM · Report this
levide 20
This is good (simple, clear, and direct):…
Posted by levide on July 15, 2012 at 1:27 PM · Report this
Paul, will you please try to refrain from so much splitting infinitives up?
Posted by crone on July 15, 2012 at 2:17 PM · Report this
@19: And what good outcome can Americans expect when they finally "come to the senses and finally vote Green!"?

Be specific. What improvements can we expect if we follow this course of action? How will they come about?
Posted by Lieutenant Sane on July 15, 2012 at 2:18 PM · Report this
blackhook 23
Can Romney just retroactively go away?
Posted by blackhook on July 15, 2012 at 2:49 PM · Report this
Karlheinz Arschbomber 24
Dead people become Mormonized retroactively. So of course the Mittster can do shit like this as well.
Posted by Karlheinz Arschbomber on July 15, 2012 at 4:07 PM · Report this
Canadian Nurse 25
Spam cleanup for comment 4, please!
Posted by Canadian Nurse on July 15, 2012 at 4:33 PM · Report this
levide 26
Just days ago I incorrectly predicted this story would stall, spun into the echo-chamber irretrievably. I have never been more pleased to admit I was wrong.
Posted by levide on July 15, 2012 at 5:41 PM · Report this
"He left a life he loved to go to Salt Lake City and help a country he loves more, and somehow Chicago… is trying to make it something sinister."

This reads as though Gillespie thinks SLC is some kind of clean, wholesome place, and Chicago is a sleaze-infested scum pit. If I lived in Chicago, I'd tell Gillespie to go fuck himself.

The spin is getting desperate on this story... Rmoney's internal polling must be showing a nosedive. And it's only July 15. Of course, once the Olympics get going, Americans won't pay attention to politics again until late August, just when the conventions start.

One last thing: has anyone noticed how annoying Rmoney's voice is in his mandatory "I approved this ad" tag? Jesus fuck, it makes him sound like a nasally, entitled, rich prick.
Posted by Gillespie to Chicago: FUCK YOU! on July 15, 2012 at 5:59 PM · Report this
now we can do things retroactively?? cool! i hereby retroactively DID turn in that philosophy paper in college on the day it was due. so up yours, professor thomassen!
Posted by glen keenan on July 15, 2012 at 6:12 PM · Report this
Rob in Baltimore 29
Rmoney is a psychopath. Contrary to popular belief, most psychopaths don't kill people. They are more often quite successful, and have relationships. They are also prolific liars, with no empathy, or caring for others. While they do have relationships, and are quite convincing in their loving expressions, they feel nothing but ambition. Other people are just a means to an end. Emotions in others are seen as a weakness to be exploited. If a person no longer serves the psychopath's purpose they are discarded.
Posted by Rob in Baltimore on July 16, 2012 at 5:41 AM · Report this
@29 - thank you, that sums up my feeling about Mitt the Git, too.

Oh, and Paul, I love you. I forgive you for ruining my Friday. This perked up my Monday morning.

Retroactive, indeed.
Posted by Bugnroolet on July 16, 2012 at 7:31 AM · Report this
Matt from Denver 31
@ 29, thank you for the armchair (and presumably amateur) absentee diagnosis. Remember when Bill Frist claimed Terry Shiavo was perfectly fine? Yeah, that was a good one.

I've seen the "Romney is a psychopath" meme floating around for a while, but if he is, riddle me this. One of the biggest criticisms he's received from the right is that he's too loyal to his campaign team. None other than Rupert Murdoch is among the ones making that observation publicly, and this was well before this fiasco.

So, if he uses people and discards them when they no longer serve his purpose, then why hasn't he jettisoned his campaign manager and/or other advisers?
Posted by Matt from Denver on July 16, 2012 at 7:32 AM · Report this
levide 32
Likely not a psychopath, but given what we know of his behavior, his pathological lies, his treatment of animals, his desire to be President (pretty much your first clue in any context), I'd say borderline sociopath is a safe bet.
Posted by levide on July 16, 2012 at 7:51 AM · Report this
First off, I did actually laugh out loud at the third tweet. Imma find that photo and FaceBook it--and try to bait my whackjob conservative cousin.

Secondly, neither 'psychopath' nor 'sociopath' are used by mental health folks these days. The DSM-IV term was 'antisocial personality disorder'--not sure whether that survived to the 5th Edition. And I'm kinda with Matt on not diagnosing people we haven't interviewed or read a case history on.
Posted by clashfan on July 16, 2012 at 8:11 AM · Report this
It's like one of those retroactive Mormon baptisms. Plus Mitt's rubber, you're glue no change-ems. Maaagic.
Posted by Lalala on July 16, 2012 at 8:17 AM · Report this
TheMisanthrope 35
I am here to say that I should be able to put in a witty comment at the top of the thread. #retroactively
Posted by TheMisanthrope on July 16, 2012 at 8:31 AM · Report this
Matt from Denver 36
@ 32, I know some pop psychologist is trying to claim that "near psychopaths" (people who score very high, but not high enough, on psychopathy diagnostic tests) are something like 15% of the population. I bet that comes from some very suspect statistics, but I've no doubt that there are many, many more such people than there are true psychopaths.

None of this means Mitt is NOT a true psychopath - maybe there's some other compelling reason for his loyalty to his team, one that's self interested - but armchair diagnosis doesn't work, even when the person doing it is a psychiatrist.
Posted by Matt from Denver on July 16, 2012 at 9:20 AM · Report this
Matt from Denver 37
@ 33, you're more up on that than I am. But the existence of the "near psychopath" book (not going to look it up to see who wrote it or what it's full title is) seems to show that there are psychologists or psychiatrists still happy to use those terms - at least when they're trying to sell books.
Posted by Matt from Denver on July 16, 2012 at 9:22 AM · Report this
Rob in Baltimore 38
31, Rmoney obviously feels that his campaign staff is serving it's purpose, even if others disagree. Richard Grenell was forced out pretty quickly when there was an anti gay backlash over him being hired as a Rmoney spokesman.
Posted by Rob in Baltimore on July 17, 2012 at 10:06 AM · Report this

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