George Zimmerman: In an exclusive softball Fox News interview last night with Sean Hannity, Zimmerman, the vigilante neighborhood watch patrolman who tracked down a boy in Florida, said "It Was God's Plan" to fatally shoot Trayvon Martin that night. And he wouldn't do anything differently. Holy God.
Mister McFeely: The mayor of Puyallup is apologizing—and says he's "embarrassed"—after he approached a female employee at the photocopier, touched her shoulder, and said, "What would you say if I told you I was a little bit afraid of you?"
Looters' Paradise: Skyway policing plan leaves area unpatrolled for eight hours a day.
News Flash: "An Oregon man who stripped nude at Portland’s airport security to protest what he saw as invasive measures was found not guilty of indecent exposure."
Dee Awena: Economists say Seattle's proposed baskethooping and puck-in-goaling arena is a "good deal." Meanwhile, strip club owners on the arena site says they're not selling the land—at least, not at the price that's been offered.
Fired for Having It His Way: Burger King fires employee who made a viral video of standing—his nasty-ass boots right in the bins—in the lettuce.
"You People": That's what Ann Romney calls the peanut gallery who thinks Mitt's tax returns are of national interest.
Finally, the GOP Jobs Bill! Just kidding, it's a bill to kill AmeriCorps, NPR, PBS, and Planned Parenthood.
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