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Tuesday, July 31, 2012

SL Letter of the Day: Post-Blowjob Runs

Posted by on Tue, Jul 31, 2012 at 12:56 PM

I'm a woman in my mid-30s, and I've been sucking cock for almost half my life now, but I don't swallow. The reason I don't is that semen invariably has a laxative effect on me. I'd give a blowjob at night, and spend the next morning running to the bathroom. This was true with every guy I was with over a period of several years. I just wanted to ask, is this normal? Or at least not freakishly unusual? For the record, I don't have any other digestive issues. The few times I've mentioned it to other people, they looked at me like I was nuts. Hopefully you or your readers can reassure me that I'm not alone.

- Regular Until Next Swallow

My dear, dear RUNS. Believe it or not, you’re not the only person who’s found that swallowing semen has a laxative effect. There is at least one other woman on the planet who this happens to and, as luck would have it, she called me years ago out of the blue when I was sitting in my office at the Kinsey Institute. (What? You don’t get similar calls at your work? All in a day’s work, dear readers).

The woman from years ago had the most fantastic theory about why it happened to her: over time, noticing that this happened on the rare occasions she swallowed her husband’s semen, she decided that perhaps his sperm were trying to chase down her eggs in an effort to fertilize them, and then she thought once they realized they weren’t going to find her eggs in her GI tract, they jumped ship by making her have go to the bathroom. And rather than wait until the next morning, her runs would come on about 90 minutes post-swallow.

I hated to break it to her, but there’s a much less exciting reason this can happen to some people when they swallow semen. An ob/gyn friend told me about the link years ago, when we were chatting over lunch at a meeting of the Vagina Society in New Zealand (vagina love has taken me to some amazing places).

So what is it?

Prostaglandins—substances made by the body and that the body is sensitive to. Semen contains prostaglandins—and prostaglandins can have a laxative effect on people. Related: If you’ve ever felt a little loosey goosey right before getting your period, that’s also thanks to prostaglandins (which spike just before your period, because the prostaglandins get the uterine muscles to contract, which then helps to shed the lining of the uterus, resulting in a menstrual period). Prostaglandins are also used to induce labor.

So why don’t more semen swallowers find themselves running to the bathroom, post-blowjob? Fortunately, we’re not all so sensitive to prostaglandins. I don’t know why most people aren’t extra-sensitive but fortunately most of us aren’t or there would probably be a lot less swallowing in the world.

You, and the woman who called me years ago at the Institute, seem to be far more sensitive to them. So either spit, have guys come in a towel (or their hand), or swallow, and stay close to a bathroom the next day.

And in all seriousness, if there are more of you who have post-blowjob runs, I would love to hear from you: email me at DrDebby@MySexProfessor.com.

 

Comments (17) RSS

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AFinch 1
Who knew? Wild!
Posted by AFinch on July 31, 2012 at 1:23 PM
Westlake, son! 2
Semen, the fun fair trade alternative to coffee.
Posted by Westlake, son! on July 31, 2012 at 1:47 PM
3
Or, you could take some Immodium prior to giving the blowjob. See if it offsets the problem. Worth a try.

This does explain the monthly issues though. I always knew I got the runs just prior to my period. Now I know why. TMI? Oh come on, this is Slog.
Posted by SeattleKim on July 31, 2012 at 2:00 PM
Posted by Andrew_Taylor on July 31, 2012 at 2:23 PM
Arsenic7 5
@4: Often???
Posted by Arsenic7 on July 31, 2012 at 2:25 PM
balderdash 6
@5: (rimshot)
Posted by balderdash http://introverse.blogspot.com on July 31, 2012 at 2:31 PM
7
@5 That's not where you put semen to induce labor.
Posted by It Only Takes Around 9 Months on July 31, 2012 at 2:43 PM
8
This used to happen to me all the time when I was a newly adventurous lady in my teens and early twenties, but didn't connect that semen was causing my gastrointestinal pyrotechnics. For a while I just thought it was nerves from being intimate with someone while I was dealing with some post sexual trauma issues and actually found myself sexy fun time because of it. Friskiness won out after a time so I went the Immodium route and poof problem solved! As either luck or happenstance would have it as I approached my mid to late twenties (just turned 30) I outgrew this sensitivity and now can happily swallow like a champ! I know the OP is in her mid-thirties so outgrowing it may not be in the cards for her but maybe my story will hearten some of the younger post-coital tummy rumblers out there - you are not alone!
Posted by SixSeasonsandaMovie on July 31, 2012 at 4:16 PM
aureolaborealis 9
@5: Dunno how often, but my completely anecdotal experience is that it works. Something about prostaglandins.

Afternoon visit to OB, several days past due date: no sign of any progress. Let's make an appointment to induce next week. That evening, prostaglandins were applied to highly absorptive tissues, and four hours later, labor.

It happened once, so it must be the empirical rule, right?
Posted by aureolaborealis on July 31, 2012 at 4:35 PM
Pope Peabrain 10
Take a couple of loperamide before the sex.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on July 31, 2012 at 4:54 PM
venomlash 11
I'm pretty sure Dan ran a similar letter in a really old Savage Love.
Posted by venomlash on July 31, 2012 at 5:01 PM
12
What was that sound? Oh, a woman in Papua New Guinea swallowing.
Posted by Approaching 40 in LA on July 31, 2012 at 5:54 PM
13
Is LW swollowing on an empty stomach? It might help to have have eaten a couple of hours before BJ time, so the semen is diluted.
Posted by WestSeven on July 31, 2012 at 6:36 PM
doloresdaphne 14
It won't be long before this turns into a "Swallowing semen helps you lose weight" story, (to go with the "good for your skin" one.
Posted by doloresdaphne on July 31, 2012 at 9:25 PM
sissoucat 15
Another option : let the guy come in your mouth, and let him drink his semen out of your mouth afterwards. It's not as insensitive as treating semen as waste. Bonding over semen has a pretty hot quality for me.
Posted by sissoucat on August 1, 2012 at 12:02 AM
Sandiai 16
I just thought ibuprofen.
Posted by Sandiai on August 1, 2012 at 2:11 AM
17
Just keep it in your mouth while gently running your mouth/tongue up and down for 30 seconds or so after he comes and then excuse yourself to the bathroom. Anyone who's in a post-orgasm glow and gets pissed that you didn't swallow is an asshole anyway.
Posted by chi_type on August 3, 2012 at 8:23 PM

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