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Tuesday, August 14, 2012

SL Letter of the Day: Fetishes, Porn, Meatballs, and Eggs

Posted by on Tue, Aug 14, 2012 at 12:28 PM

Dear Dan:

I’m a girl with a few questions, so I’ll start with the simplest and work up:

1) Can a person have more then one fetish, or are they called something else if you have 2+? Completely unconnected fetishes, like lingerie on girls, watching gay men have sex, and bondage (amongst others).

2) How common is it for women/girls to have fetishes, in more concrete terms then “less then men”? (I’m a high school girl, by the way.)

3) Is watching porn from a young age the reason I have multiple fetishes, or is it the other way around?

4) And the biggest one: One of my fetishes happens to be gynecology, in a bondage-y kind of way. Not because it is forced, but because you’re allowing someone to do that to you, and you have to trust them a lot. However: like many people, I don’t want anyone other then a trusted partner to know about the details of my fetishes, and the time is coming where I will eventually have to get a gynecological exam. Is there a way to prevent myself from becoming aroused? I feel like I would be aroused even if I was embarrassed, especially since someone would have their hands in my vagina. The gynecologist would know, and I know they gossip about patients, despite privacy laws. My friend’s aunt told her about the strangest cases she’d ever had, including a woman who had managed to get two meatballs and an egg stuck in her vagina, and had to go in to get them taken out.

Weird Excitable Teenager

My response after the jump...

You may be excitable, but you’re not weird. Let’s take questions 1 through 3 first, since they’re connected. People can have lots and lots of fetishes, and those fetishes can be similar or related or not. I’m not sure I’d classify yours as fetishes, as much as turn-ons. Lingerie on girls, watching gay men have sex, and bondage turn you on. Plenty of people have these same turn-ons, and plenty of girls and women have fetishes. Don’t be so concerned about why you have these turn-ons or what they mean. Porn doesn’t give people fetishes, but it can give you a language to talk about what arouses you, what you fantasize about, or what you might like to do. Your gyno fetish is actually a pretty common one, which is why when you get older and go to your first BDSM play party, you’re likely to see a gynecological table in a medical-themed room (something to look forward to!).

There isn’t a way to stop your body from getting aroused if it wants to be aroused. However, many signs of arousal will not raise any red flags for your doctor. For example, you will definitely not be the first patient to have a wet pussy (some people’s pussies are wet under a lot of different circumstances). If you have an increased heart rate, that could be chalked up to nervousness or anxiety. Even if you have an orgasm during your pelvic exam, you would not be the first. You’d probably have to have a screaming orgasm to make anyone in the room blink. But there is also another scenario possible: fantasies when presented in real life don’t always produce the same results. You may be totally turned on by the idea of a gynecological exam, but when it actually happens in a doctor’s office (rather than with a lover in a sexy outfit in a scene you’ve designed), it might not be that sexy at all. Doctors have seen pretty much everything, and ethical medical professionals absolutely do not gossip about their patients—it’s actually against the law. Oh, and don’t ever put meatballs or eggs in your vagina.

 

Comments (29) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
Mike in MO 1
woman who had managed to get two meatballs and an egg stuck in her vagina, and had to go in to get them taken out. the reason I read SLLotD
Posted by Mike in MO on August 14, 2012 at 12:37 PM · Report this
Fistique 2
While not talking shit about your patients is indeed a noble ethical standard for doctors to aspire to, it seems like a more useful life-lesson for a high school girl would be "The idea of anybody gossiping about you can and should become something that doesn't really bother you."
Posted by Fistique on August 14, 2012 at 12:42 PM · Report this
3
Seems like they would come out eventually, or one could squish 'em till they fell apart and you could remove them in crumbles. Famous last words, I guess.
Posted by sahara29 on August 14, 2012 at 12:43 PM · Report this
4
Also, LW, does it really matter if some random who you will never meet and who will never know it is you hears gossip about you? Why, you have just informed oodles of strangers that a person like you exists; how much different is that really than your doctor gossiping? I'm not saying you shouldn't be upset if it happens or that you shouldn't expect professional conduct, but I think the "everyone will know!" factor doesn't come in to play unless it gets way less anonymous.
Posted by sahara29 on August 14, 2012 at 12:46 PM · Report this
5
Yah I am a little unclear how you'd get something like that stuck. The ass, sure, you can get all kinds of things stuck up there, but it has a sphincter and a much longer tube. With the vagina you just stick some fingers in and root it out. With lube if needed.

Might not be the most pleasant thing in the world, but I'd say much more so than going to the doctor.

I call urban legend on that.
Posted by giffy on August 14, 2012 at 12:48 PM · Report this
seatackled 6
It seems that any woman enterprising enough to get two meatballs and an egg stuck in her vagina would be able to buy a live lobster to go in there and consume the two meatballs and egg, thereby resolving said woman's difficulty.
Posted by seatackled on August 14, 2012 at 12:52 PM · Report this
Zebes 7
Two meatballs and one egg. Never two eggs and a meatball. That'd screw the whole recipe up.
Posted by Zebes http://www.badrap.org/rescue/index.html on August 14, 2012 at 1:01 PM · Report this
Enigma 8
@5 I've had to go to the doctor to get a sponge (tampon) removed. Sometimes your body just doesn't want to let go.
Posted by Enigma http://washingtonunitedformarriage.org/ on August 14, 2012 at 1:08 PM · Report this
AFinch 9
I always wonder about the people who get thing stuck in their rectums...I mean...you poop out alot of stuff...seriously...why not just relax, take a laxative and wait?
Posted by AFinch on August 14, 2012 at 1:26 PM · Report this
10
Also, LW, it's THAN, not THEN, all three times:

Can a person have more then one fetish?
“less then men”
I don’t want anyone other then a trusted partner to know about the details of my fetishes

Than, not then.
Posted by ignatz ratzkywatzky on August 14, 2012 at 2:08 PM · Report this
ScienceNerd 11
@3 Holy cow, I haven't laughed that loud randomly in public in a long time...

Hey LW, I could have written point #4 several years ago. I worried that the gyno would know, so I did some internet searching (this was way back when AOL was the only way to get online). I think it was a post on AskJeeves written by a gynecologist that said much of what Dan said in his second paragraph.

By the way, it never actually happened to me, meaning I haven't actually been aroused during my exams. For play...awesome. For real... not so fun. :\
Posted by ScienceNerd http://stanichium.tumblr.com/ on August 14, 2012 at 2:15 PM · Report this
Sandiai 12
I do NOT miss high school. So much misinformation floating around. Yeah, I do not believe the meatball story, not that things don't get stuck in there, it's just the choice of "stuff" in this case.

WET, I'm glad you wrote in instead of asking your friends about these things. You sound a lot like me. Then and now, I had/have all those fantasies (I agree they're not fetishes). The gyn one is one of my favorites. I will tell you though, the real exam is not really exciting. It's not that bad-it doesn't hurt at all, for example-but you don't really get turned on. Plus it goes pretty quickly. What Tristan said too: If you do get turned on probably the nurse and doctor won't know.
You sound very articulate and very very normal. Remember, don't have sex until you want to and always use condoms.
Posted by Sandiai on August 14, 2012 at 2:17 PM · Report this
ScienceNerd 13
@11 Hey idiot, it's not Dan.

I keep forgetting he was taken to the farm.
Posted by ScienceNerd http://stanichium.tumblr.com/ on August 14, 2012 at 2:18 PM · Report this
Daddy Love 14
I've had a doctor handle my penis, and it wasn't that exciting.
Posted by Daddy Love on August 14, 2012 at 2:21 PM · Report this
15
They only "gossip" about patients with names and identifying details redacted, long after the event took place. No one will ever know they're talking about you, and in any case, mere arousal isn't nearly as interesting to talk about as meatballs and eggs in a vagina, so the odds they'll talk at all are very slim.
Posted by I have always been... east coaster on August 14, 2012 at 2:27 PM · Report this
Lily Fluffbottom 16
We banned it in our office too. its the only kind of office I'm willing to work in. Kudos, Dan.
Posted by Lily Fluffbottom on August 14, 2012 at 2:33 PM · Report this
Max Solomon 17
girls in lingerie is a fetish? someone's got to re-define that word for the kids. it's getting too broad - it doesn't mean "anything that gives you a boner".
Posted by Max Solomon on August 14, 2012 at 3:05 PM · Report this
18
I used to work in customer service and of COURSE I ended up with lots of stories about my favorite/craziest/most clueless customers. But of course you never give out names! (For one thing, the names all run together after awhile anyway.) Don't worry, your doctor isn't going to rat you out.
Posted by Pope Buck I on August 14, 2012 at 3:07 PM · Report this
19
Sweetie, believe me, when you actually go to the gyno and learn what a cold speculum feels like, you won't have to worry about being aroused.
Posted by Open wide ... on August 14, 2012 at 3:31 PM · Report this
20
@Tristan -- great answers.

But MDs and shrinks can tell patient info. providing no identifying info. is given out / details are changed. Otherwise we could never learn or teach others.

And please ask Dan to keep posting daily vacation pics over on his blog!

Posted by delta35 on August 14, 2012 at 4:05 PM · Report this
OutInBumF 21
@9- Usually the root cause is PANIC!!!! But sometimes the shape/size truly *is* prohibitive, and the more pushing involved, the more swollen the tissues get- vicious circle.
Posted by OutInBumF on August 14, 2012 at 4:26 PM · Report this
22
fake...?
Posted by muffin on August 14, 2012 at 4:56 PM · Report this
seandr 23
1) Can a person have more then one fetish?

No! One fetish is all you get. If you take anymore, someone else has to go without.

2) How common is it for women/girls to have fetishes?

In my experience, every woman wants to be manhandled and spanked told she's a naughty girl. Seriously, you ladies are perverts.

3) Is watching porn from a young age...

Illegal? Yes it is!

4)One of my fetishes happens to be gynecology...

Gynecology is a specialization of medicine, honey, not a sexual fetish.

Confidential to Dan: You're welcome, next time you're on vacation, I'd be happy to mind the shop.
Posted by seandr on August 14, 2012 at 6:17 PM · Report this
24
@5: Like @8, I also once had to have a tampon removed by a doctor. I had sex the night before, and I didn't realize the tampon was still in. Apparently the guy didn't either. The next morning, I realized what had happened, tried to pull it out, and couldn't. It definitely can happen.
Posted by fallen angel on August 14, 2012 at 9:02 PM · Report this
25
You probably won't be turned on in the actual doctor's office. While the bondage part of the table and the idea of putting that much trust in a partner might seem exciting, the actual experience of a gyno exam is pretty unpleasant.

First of all, if your doctor is a woman and you're straight, you won't be interested in her.

Second, her hands will be cold and so will the lube she uses.

Third, it will hurt the first time. The speculum is uncomfortable and the little brush used for the pap smear is not a nice sensation.

It's totally possible that in the context of a sexual experience with a trusted partner, a simulated gynecological exam will be a turn on. But the actual exam might turn out to be as uncomfortable to you as it is to most other people.

Also, I don't think the doctor will gossip about you if you get a little turned on. She (or he) is smart enough to know that sometimes the nerves down there react to touch and it's completely normal. Even if she DOES, she wouldn't use your name or anything. It would likely just be something like "I had a patient the other day who was so embarrassed because she had an orgasm. Poor thing." I have lots of friends in the medical profession and while they may occasionally tell funny stories about patients, I would never in a million years be able to identify who they are talking about.
Posted by J from Oregon on August 14, 2012 at 10:45 PM · Report this
xjuan 26
At first I also thought, mmh, fake. Then I remember: "Who cares?". This kinds of comments will enlighten someone somewhere sometime. Homer's stories arent't true, or... are they?

We were all so confused when we started. The purpose of all this sexual thing is to learn how to control our orgasm, our identity, our pleasure.
Posted by xjuan on August 14, 2012 at 11:07 PM · Report this
27
I've always gotten a thrill from my GYN exams with women doctors. They're so calm and professional about telling me exactly what they're going to do to me at every stage. Their gloved hands aren't cold; maybe they keep the gloves in a glove-warmer or something? Anyway -- as long as I don't moan, it's my little secret.

... Just like the fantasies I have about Steve Martin when I'm getting a filling at the dentist
Posted by EricaP on August 14, 2012 at 11:36 PM · Report this
singing cynic 28
Isn't a fetish something that one NEEDS in order to be aroused? So if she really had multiple fetishes, every time she had sex she'd need to do a gynecological bondage scene while wearing lingerie and watching gay porn. Not fetishes, sweetie, just turn-ons.
Posted by singing cynic on August 15, 2012 at 5:30 AM · Report this
29
I was hospitalized for a time when I was 14. At the time nurses gave sponge baths to bed ridden patients so I got a daily sponge bath. One of the nurses was very young & really turned me on. That became obvious as she washed me down. Unlike my fantasy though, what she did was to smack the end of my peep and say "I don't think we need that!"

Not surprisingly I am not the least bit aroused by nurses any more.
Posted by frankdawg on August 15, 2012 at 6:05 AM · Report this

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