Well, except sunscreen, earplugs, plenty of fluid, and some Xanax. BUT! Everything ELSE you need—schedules, maps, words about EVERY GODDAMN THING HAPPENING AT BUMBERSHOOT—is at thestranger.com/bumbershoot.

Want to know which comedy events we recommend? We tell you! Want to know how Skrillex's hair feels about Chloë Sevigny? We have answers! Want to know why that Gotye song is so catchy? An expert weighs in! Do you need to find the ATMs at Seattle Center? They're on the map! Are you wondering what time the Promise Ring goes on? We have printable daily schedules! Have you always wanted to dress up the Vaselines in cute little outfits? Your dreams have come true! Still haven't bought your tickets? DO THAT.

See all that and so much more RIGHT HERE. Say goodbye to your productivity. It's time to get ready for Bumbershoot.