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Friday, August 31, 2012

The Ladies If Kangaroo Vaginas Could Talk, They'd Scream

Posted by Cienna Madrid on Fri, Aug 31, 2012 at 10:52 AM

I always suspected kangaroos thought they were better than me. Now I know why: Three vaginas.

This set-up is shared by all marsupials – the group of mammals that raise their young in pouches. Koalas, wombats and Tasmanian devils all share the three-vagina structure. The side ones carry sperm to the two uteruses (and males marsupials often have two-pronged penises), while the middle vagina sends the joey down to the outside world.

So they've sprouted three vaginas (GREEDY) and taught them to juggle. But before you get all jelly of marsupials, human ladies, check this out:

With its complicated reproductive set-up, a female kangaroo can be perpetually pregnant. While one joey is developing inside the pouch, another embryo is held in reserve in a uterus, waiting for its sibling to grow up and leave. Indeed, a mother kangaroo can nourish three separate youngsters at a time – an older joey that has left the pouch, a young one developing inside it, and an embryo still waiting to be born.

'Becoming a Republican kangaroo' just topped 'sticking my boobs in a woodchipper' on my list of Things to Avoid this Labor Day Weekend.

Thanks and shudders to Slog tipper Velho.

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Comments (13) RSS

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Meanwhile, some of us are jealous of the "two-pronged penis."

Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on August 31, 2012 at 11:14 AM

My kangaroo friends tell me it's not so bad. In fact, they say that they have trouble conceiving of it being any other way.

Posted by The Max on August 31, 2012 at 11:16 AM

They can also delay/stop pregnancies during stressed times.

Posted by Large Hardon Colluder on August 31, 2012 at 11:23 AM

Children, life is complicated.

Posted by Original Andrew on August 31, 2012 at 12:05 PM

Two-pronged penises must be hell to circumcise.

Posted by seatackled on August 31, 2012 at 12:16 PM

Shit shit shit fuck shit fuck, I'm gonna have to totally rework my fursuit. Thanks a lot, biology.

Posted by Zebes

on August 31, 2012 at 12:25 PM

You could never be a Republican kangaroo, since kangaroos can spontaneously reject fetuses in times of stress. Without apologies to, or permission from old white men.

Posted by tim b on August 31, 2012 at 12:25 PM

If they could talk they'd say "Hop on in here, big boy".

Posted by Pope Peabrain on August 31, 2012 at 12:38 PM

Yeah, they decide when to let fertilized embryos start developing, depending on whether there's a drought, or another joey already in the pipeline, or maybe never.

And all of this without brains! (Kangaroos and all marsupials have really, really tiny brains, which use too much energy).

Posted by Fnarf

on August 31, 2012 at 1:10 PM

@9 I'm always amazed how species with tiny brains survive for millions of years perfectly well. Obviously, big brains are not a prerequisite for survival. In fact, it looks like big brains cause trouble for species survival. And if that's the case, it may be even less likely we will ever recieve evidence of intelligent life elsewhere in the universe.

Posted by Pope Peabrain on August 31, 2012 at 1:33 PM

...mine gott, can you imagine the republican kerfuffle in trying to figure out how to write a no-abortion-for-kangaroos bill? I am smelling teenie republican brains frying, like this is THEIR brain on drugs...yay!

Posted by Jack Strubbe on August 31, 2012 at 6:23 PM

Posted by Jack Strubbe on August 31, 2012 at 6:25 PM

@10: It's also surprising how brain size and intelligence don't seem to be all that closely correlated. Ravens seem to be smarter than a lot of mammals with far larger brains, and in spite of their larger brain size dolphins don't seem to be as intelligent as we are.

Posted by Orv on September 5, 2012 at 1:27 PM