Possibly you know this already. But look. Yesterday was Cienna's birthday. I wanted to get her a helium balloon, the more ridiculous the better. (They did not have anything absolutely awful at QFC, but they did have an American flag, so I went with that because obviously, Cienna is a great American.)

On my way to purchase this balloon, I was informed of the helium crisis. I disbelieved. The florist confirmed. "We have five to seven years left of helium, period," she said. She was unmoved.

To buy the balloon or not to buy the balloon? That was the (momentary) question. I bought the balloon.

But later, a wise man posed the question to me: How should we use our remaining years of helium? On balloons, or hilarious high-pitched talking? That, it seems to me, is the question.

This scene, from Woody Allen's Broadway Danny Rose (my favorite Woody, hands down), takes on new significance.