Slog
News & ArtsFriday, September 14, 2012
2012 Slog Poll: Who Is the Real Mitt Romney?
Posted by Paul Constant on Fri, Sep 14, 2012 at 4:26 PM
I think that part of what's happening right now with Mitt Romney's decreasing poll numbers is that Americans who are just now really tuning into the political process for the first time are taking one look at Romney and backing away from him. This doesn't mean that President Obama has it in the bag by any means. National polls are meaningless, remember, because the election will be determined in a few swing states that are right now being bombarded with ads and frightening new voter registration laws. And the world is tumultuous and so is public opinion of foreign policy; Obama could easily hit a disaster between now and Election Day.
But here's what's not going to happen: I don't think that voters are going to suddenly look at Romney and decide that he's a likable guy who makes for an attractive candidate. This has been an issue for over a decade: Romney has never been able to shake his woodenness, his inability to perform many of the simple functions of a candidate with ease, or his apparent, creeping sense of discomfort. And when people look at Romney and listen to him talk for a while, he just sounds like a dick. Or, more accurately, does he seem like an asshole? Or is Romney a douche?
We couldn't decide whether Romney is an asshole, a douche, or a dick. This conversation went on for a while, and we finally decided that Slog readers should decide, once and for all. So we leave it to you:
1
You stole my idea that I posted earlier this week. Except I changed my mind from "dick" to "asshat". And why is there no "all of the above" option?
2
Counterpoint: Romney managed to get elected governor in dyed-blue Massachusetts. I think the odds continue to favor Obama in a squeaker, but counting Romney out on the grounds that he's somehow personally dislikable seems dreadfully premature.
5
To me, these categorize degrees of disregard for your fellow humans.
An asshole has an aggressive disregard, knowingly and deliberately putting himself in front of others.
A douche has a casual or passive disregard, careless doing what he wants without the self-awareness to realize his douchiness.
A dick has the self-awareness of an asshole, but the lack of foresight of the douche. He realizes partway through his actions that he's being a dick, but perseveres anyway, because he's too much of a dick to admit that he's being a dick.
Romney is clearly in the third category.
An asshole has an aggressive disregard, knowingly and deliberately putting himself in front of others.
A douche has a casual or passive disregard, careless doing what he wants without the self-awareness to realize his douchiness.
A dick has the self-awareness of an asshole, but the lack of foresight of the douche. He realizes partway through his actions that he's being a dick, but perseveres anyway, because he's too much of a dick to admit that he's being a dick.
Romney is clearly in the third category.
7
Douche. It might have seemed like a good idea in the fifties, but now you don't want it anywhere near you or your lady-parts.
8
The only problem with calling him a "Douche" is that no woman in her right mind would want him or his party's legislative efforts anywhere near her vagina
9
@2: That was a different Romney. You know, "better than Ted Kennedy for gay rights" Romney. He may not have been a total asshole then, but he's worked hard over the past 18 years to become one.
10
@2: Massachusetts may be liberal, but it's not die-hard democrat. They didn't have a democratic governor from 1986-2006. Romney was not an anomaly. (Though I think it's noteworthy that they went democrat after him.)
11
He clearly perfectly embodies the clueless, narcissistic, self-entitled sort of fuckwittery that is connoted by "douche" or even, dare I say it, "doucher." An asshole says "I got mine, fuck you," and a dick says "I got mine and I'm going to help you" then shanks you in the back and takes yours, but a doucher says, "I got mine and I don't understand why you're upset that I think that means I can do whatever the fuck I want," while he outsources your job and straps his dog to the top of his car and sends his rich wife to whine about her health struggles on national TV even as he campaigns on a promise to guarantee less health care for America.
That, my friends, is a doucher.
That, my friends, is a doucher.
12
How can we vote? The problem is that Romney himself can't even decide which one he is, he keeps flip flopping.
13
@2, that was a May/June argument, the cache is long gone. Fuckwad's campaign has tons of money and has been letting Obama outspend him for the last couple weeks. That's the sole reason not to count him out yet, but the odds are decidely in Obama's favor.
14
I prefer the term louse, as in a parasite and a contemptible person. Also I like the epithet pill, as in something repugnant or unpleasant that must be accepted or endured or a disagreeable or tiresome person.
15
I find that when dick meets asshole, a little douche increases both parties satisfaction.... So he's definitely all three.
16
@8
But that's exactly why douche is the perfect descriptor/insult for him. All vagina owners should be wary of the harm he WILL cause.
But that's exactly why douche is the perfect descriptor/insult for him. All vagina owners should be wary of the harm he WILL cause.
20
I think Team America World Police had it right: ". Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit! "
22
As far as Republicans go, you fools are QE3ing our fortunes into the stratosphere.
Obama is basically bread and circuses for the poor people who make less than $100,000 a year.
Give the lions their share. That the jackals may feast on the carcases.
Obama is basically bread and circuses for the poor people who make less than $100,000 a year.
Give the lions their share. That the jackals may feast on the carcases.
23
Nate Silver's latest electoral statistics graph thingy puts Obama's chances of reelection at 78.6%.
25
Anyone remember Gladwell's story in Blink about Warren Harding getting elected just cause he "looked presidential" and had some minimal qualifications, but turned out to be a total disaster?
27
The income ceiling for "douche" is just a few million bucks. Joe Francis is a douche. Mitt Romney is an asshole.
29
I really considered this one. Asshole and dick seem to imply some kind of active thought and distinct personality to me, while douche is a state of being. "Romoney" is clueless, hence his moniker must reflect the fact that it is applied to him and not actively created by him. "Douche" it is, and garnered my vote.
30
..douche, dick, asshole.. you learn something new every day.. i'd vote dick, except i've been very well served by mine and would like to think that everyone else who has encountered it have been well served as well.. but still , one man's meat is another man's poison so... well.. dick it is.
32
All of these things (assholes, dicks, douches) have legitimate uses. Therefore, Romney can't be any of them.
35
I would normally call him a douche (of the classic Massengill variety): unnecessary, irritating, sometimes dangerous, and existing primarily to generate profit without producing anything of real value. But these days I can't look at him without seeing a giant, gaping asshole, with all kinds of crap just spewing forth from him.
39
It is not a matter of who I 'like' as it is what's going to happen. I do not 'like' Obama, but I feel confident about him. I do not 'like' Romney and the possibility that he could be President gives me a very uneasy feeling. Angry father vampire leader, any one?
46
@25:
Anyone remember Gladwell's story in Blink about Warren Harding getting elected just cause he "looked presidential" and had some minimal qualifications, but turned out to be a total disaster?Such commentary about Harding was common knowledge before Gladwell's parents (maybe his grandparents) were a gleam in anybody's eye. So common, in fact, that it's noted in Harding's profile on the White House website:
An Ohio admirer, Harry Daugherty, began to promote Harding for the 1920 Republican nomination because, he later explained, "He looked like a President."
Thus a group of Senators, taking control of the 1920 Republican Convention when the principal candidates deadlocked, turned to Harding. He won the Presidential election by an unprecedented landslide of 60 percent of the popular vote.
47
Douche is winning by virtue of being trendy. I chose "dick" because colloquially, I think it's the most negative. People will say "he's an asshole, but he can be funny," or describe themselves as an asshole, but I never hear anyone excuse someone who's a "dick," or cop to it.
49
I've always figured douche meant a useless person that for some odd reason is still around. They're a benign bad. Dicks can piss all over the place or make love. Assholes just shit on everything.
He's a douche in my book. Benign, antiquated, useless and ultimately a bad idea that appeals to a small segment who have self esteem issues.
He's a douche in my book. Benign, antiquated, useless and ultimately a bad idea that appeals to a small segment who have self esteem issues.
50
I prefer "asshole" as it is gender-free, and thus demonizes neither male genitalia nor feminine hygiene.
54
@49 - CbytheSea - you're a genius:
"Benign, antiquated, useless and ultimately a bad idea that appeals to a small segment who have self esteem issues."
Douche it is!
"Benign, antiquated, useless and ultimately a bad idea that appeals to a small segment who have self esteem issues."
Douche it is!
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