Seahawks win! More importantly, they beat the fucking Cowboys. Yay!

Dan and Terry win! An Emmy! Of course they do. Everything comes so easy for you gays. My question to Dan is, when does it get better for us straight white guys?

King of the Jews. Stupid, stupid, Tee-Vee journalist David Gregory referred to Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu as the "leader of the Jewish people." And I declare my kitty Wompus to be the leader of the cats!

"Muslims hate us because of their religion." Stupid, stupid, Tee-Vee journalist Joe Scarborough is just plain stupid.

What do the Boy Scouts and the Catholic Church have in common? A new investigative report claims that the Boy Scouts covered up hundreds of cases of alleged child molestation rather than reporting the incidents to parents and the police.

Local teens die hiking. Two Federal Way teens died after trying (and failing) to climb a rock at Otter Falls near North Bend.

Bike safety in numbers. As the number of cyclists on the road increases, the number of car-bike collisions decline, as drivers become cognizant that, "Hey... there are cyclists on the road! Better be careful not to hit them!"

Happy birthday Occupy Wall Street! You don't look a day over 99 percent.

Happy birthday Battle of Antietam! Today is the 150th anniversary of the bloodiest day of the Civil War.

Microsoft to ship at least 94,000 Surface tablets... when it gives one to each of its 94,000 employees. Meanwhile, Apple took a record 2 million iPhone 5 preorders in its first 24 hours.

School's out forever! Or at least for second week in Chicago, where teachers remain on strike.

If he runs the nation like he ran his convention, we're fucked. Apparently, Mitt Romney dropped plans to talk about Afghanistan at his nominating convention, so as to make room for Clint Eastwood. How's that working out for you, Mitt?

And finally, a cool way to separate egg yolks: