Slog
News & ArtsTuesday, September 18, 2012
Animals "My Dog: The Paradox"
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on Tue, Sep 18, 2012 at 8:59 AM
If you have—or have ever known—a dog... the Oatmeal strikes again.
- With permission of the Oatmeal
2
My bird will chew rubber, wood, fabric, plastic, my eye glasses, picture frames, papper and tin foil. But when I offer him apple or carrot, he shakes his head and flies away.
4
"He is my best friend, and I am his... but he will go to his grave having never known my name"
That line really stuck with me.
That line really stuck with me.
6
@5 :) For those who can't afford dog food! I see no downside to that plan. Except that you then need to feed the cat something...
OTOH, my dog loves vegetables. Or anything crunchy.
OTOH, my dog loves vegetables. Or anything crunchy.
9
The internet is a strange place - my girlfriend sent this to me like 3 hours ago. Describes her little crazy dog perfectly.
10
The specifics of this cartoon don't really apply to my dogs (they LOVE vegetables), but man, he sure does get the essence of how weird and awesome dogs can be.
11
We used to feed our dog frozen green peppers. She loved them and would come running every time we opened the fridge.
Anybody else try that?
Anybody else try that?
12
If you cook the vegetables with even a tiny bit of butter, my dog is all over them. She used to like raw carrots back when she still liked to chew stuff. She's old now and doesn't seem that interested in chewing things anymore. Her teeth are all there and seem healthy, but she doesn't like chew toys.
Despite the goofy grossness of this comic, it still made me tear up at the end.
Despite the goofy grossness of this comic, it still made me tear up at the end.
14
@13: I've lived in Seattle (where we get cold weather) for 20 years, but as a So.Cal native, I had the exact same reaction! Cat turds in a freezer, next to the Eggo Waffles.
15
@13 people who want to polish it. Or who have infrequent pickup in an area where they can smell the trash.
16
People actually feed their dogs broccoli? Seems like that's just askin' for trouble. (The stinky kind that comes wafting up from the foot of the bed in the middle of the night.)
17
@4 the same for me. I've been upset about my cats never knowing my name since Oatmeal posted this yesterday. :(
18
My dog comes from a line of not very bright dogs, and I don't know if he thinks my name when he looks at me, but he knows the name of everyone in my house. As in "Find Susie!" It's fun, and who knows, maybe it will save one of us if we fall down a well someday.
In less humorless commenting, the cartoon was very, very funny.
In less humorless commenting, the cartoon was very, very funny.
19
@1: As far as we can tell, dogs are descended from wolves, or an "ancestral wolf-like canid," which were likely opportunistic omnivores like modern wolves and dogs, not obligate carnivores like cats. Wild canids subsist largely on meat, but also eat fruits, berries, grasses and vegetables when available. My dog loves to eat grass, especially wheatgrass. (And, no she doesn't do this just to barf.)
The HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT reaction to the outside world describes my dog to a T.
The HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT reaction to the outside world describes my dog to a T.
20
"Wild canids subsist largely on meat, but also eat fruits, berries, grasses and vegetables when available."
A carnivore is a creature which subsists mainly or exclusively on animal tissue. You may notice that I didn't suggest that dogs are or are descended from obligate carnivores, just that the fact that some dogs aren't interested in vegetables might be related to their ancestry. What's more, some house cats, who are descended from obligate carnivores, will eat vegetables. That doesn't mean that human definitions of "food" are broadly applicable to them.
A carnivore is a creature which subsists mainly or exclusively on animal tissue. You may notice that I didn't suggest that dogs are or are descended from obligate carnivores, just that the fact that some dogs aren't interested in vegetables might be related to their ancestry. What's more, some house cats, who are descended from obligate carnivores, will eat vegetables. That doesn't mean that human definitions of "food" are broadly applicable to them.
21
@20 My cat will eat vegetables, but my dog eats rocks...
What @19 is saying is that there are digestive imperatives for certain species. Omnivores cannot live eating only meat. Obligate carnivores are the only carnivores that are actually harmed by eating anything except meat, and cats are one of these things.
What @19 is saying is that there are digestive imperatives for certain species. Omnivores cannot live eating only meat. Obligate carnivores are the only carnivores that are actually harmed by eating anything except meat, and cats are one of these things.
23
@22: True dat. When the mister rides by on his bike my dog will catch his smell 1-2 seconds later and start tracking him. She can also find her dog walker's car by smell when we pass it on foot. (She does not seem to have any idea what it looks like, she will sometimes sniff adjacent, visually dissimilar cars if she's not immediately sure which one is "hers.")
She also recognizes the voices of all of her people, including our friends and immediate family members, and bows and wiggles with excitement if she hears them nearby. She hates pretty much everyone else.
She also recognizes the voices of all of her people, including our friends and immediate family members, and bows and wiggles with excitement if she hears them nearby. She hates pretty much everyone else.
24
One of my dogs picks cherry tomatoes from our garden, then snuggles with them and bats them around, but never punctures them. Super cute since she is a big old pit bull being gentle with her baby tomato.
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