The suspense is almost literally killing me.

As you have probably heard, we're throwing a swanky party tomorrow night at the Moore honoring the 15 best artists in the city right now, and five of them will leave with $5,000 grants. The award ceremony is open to the public this year, and the Seattle Rock Orchestra will provide a live soundtrack. Plus, there's an original cello piece by Lori Goldston, an original dance created by Kate Wallich, and lots of other surprises. Including the surprise of seeing a bunch of Seattle people dressed real nice. Like, knock-your-eyes-out, oh-my-God-she-looks-amazing, only-an-artist-would-wear-that nice. You have something wild you've always wanted to wear? Wear that. You don't have a ticket yet? Um, hurry up. Until noon tomorrow, they're only $12. After noon, they jump to $18.

Anyway, everyone keeps asking who the winners are going to be, as if I know. I don't have a clue. Neither does Jen Graves nor Charles Mudede nor Emily Nokes nor Paul Constant nor Brendan Kiley nor Bethany Clement nor David Schmader nor Megan Seling nor Tim Keck. God himself doesn't even know. (I asked Him.) The only person who knows is the person who runs The Stranger's accounting department, our general manager Laurie Saito, pictured above. If you want to know who the winners are before tomorrow night, you are going to have to delve into Laurie's brain somehow. Maybe with a laser? Or an MRI with thought-extraction capability? Or a periscope-type thing? Good luck. No one in the history of time has ever been able to extract a secret from Laurie Saito's mind. She tabulated the votes and prepared the envelopes that will be opened live, on stage, in front of you, tomorrow night.

After the awards, Seattle Rock Orchestra will be performing songs by an internationally recognized pop icon. Someone whose songs literally everyone in the world knows by heart. Someone who will make you want to dance. And not dance around with mere common folk. Dance around with geniuses. Actual brilliant, beautiful people. This isn't a year you want to miss.

GET ON IT.