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News & ArtsMonday, October 8, 2012
Housekeeping What Do You Think of Columbus Day?
Posted by Paul Constant on Mon, Oct 8, 2012 at 12:40 PM
As Goldy pointed out earlier, Columbus Day is sorely in need of renovation. The Awl has a story about a man with a quixotic quest to rename Columbus Day "Exploration Day."
The plan is the brainchild of Karl Frank, Jr., a self-proclaimed “IT guy” and impassioned science enthusiast from St. Louis. “I’m one of those people who drive my friends nuts with my Facebook posts about cool science articles,” he says. As the news of Neil Armstrong’s death broke, Frank heard a passing comment from a news broadcast comparing the first man on the Moon with Columbus, and it got him thinking. And status updating. “I nonchalantly posted on Facebook that instead of Columbus Day, we ought to have a Neil Armstrong Day,” he recalls, “and it snowballed from there.”
The thing I like about Exploration Day is that it could be a national holiday devoted to celebrating science. It certainly wouldn't absolve the United States of our bloody history, but it would at least put a more optimistic spin on the holiday. What do you think?
1
It should be renamed "Indigenous Peoples Day" to honor all the native Americans Columbus (and the rest of us) has persecuted.
2
David Mitchell did a great, level-headed look at this impulse (every country faces such questions, not just us every year on Columbus Day) in his Guardian column, cautioning that "we risk a denial of our history. We drive a bulldozer through the archaeology of language and symbols; we ignore how they contextualise our society." http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/…
4
I think we should keep the tradition alive and commit another genocide. CANDADA!!! Here we come and we are gonig to FUCK YOU UP!!!!
5
Advantage of Niel Armstrong Day: Wikipedia says he was a Deist. It would piss off all sorts of religious nuts.
12
Cato, I have no doubt we would have invaded "Candada" a long time ago if we saw anything to be gained from it.
13
Considering I got parking ticket downtown today (holiday parking is supposed to be free, no?), it seems this is a pointless discussion.
14
In Arizona the individual counties get to vote to either give you Columbus Day off and you have to work the day after Thanksgiving or work on Columbus Day and get the day after Thanksgiving off - for those great Black Friday deals. Most of the counties chose to work today and close the day after Thanksgiving.
15
Exploration Day ends up honoring not only Columbus, but Cortez and all the other explorer/invaders too.
So, good intention, bad idea.
So, good intention, bad idea.
16
I.E., it *still* ends up honoring Columbus, along with a bunch of other assholes, so exploration day doesn't help.
17
@7 I thought every day was AMERICA! FUCK YEAH! Day.
Michelle Obama and the Rev. J. Wright can attest to what Fux Nuwz will do to you if you say otherwise.
Michelle Obama and the Rev. J. Wright can attest to what Fux Nuwz will do to you if you say otherwise.
18
Isn't Columbus Day unofficially Italian Heritage Celebration?
Sort of like Cinqo de Mayo or St Patrick's Day, only more tenuous of applicability?
Sort of like Cinqo de Mayo or St Patrick's Day, only more tenuous of applicability?
20
Unintended Consequences Day!
Even as a kid I realized that what the explorers all set out to do...discover new shit! Make some money! was a little different from the resulting land grab and genocide. Let's make a holiday to ponder the real results of our best intentions.
Even as a kid I realized that what the explorers all set out to do...discover new shit! Make some money! was a little different from the resulting land grab and genocide. Let's make a holiday to ponder the real results of our best intentions.
23
@22 I know.
Canada takes a lot of shit. But one thing they shouldn't get pitched shit for is their military. For Canada's minuscule military buck they get a tremendous bang. Especially their army, which has always out-performed ours when it's been given the opportunity.
As for Columbus Day. Fuck this papering over it with puppies and kitties. Rename it "Conquerors Day." Make it a solemn occasion. Inject some honesty into the entire concept. Everything we are is based in conquest and slaughter. Let's stop hiding from it. We don't have to have parades, but we should remember invaders are what so easily can become.
And. For that matter we should rename the Department of Defense back to it's proper name The Department of War. That way politicians can't hide behind polite moral sounding euphemisms.
Canada takes a lot of shit. But one thing they shouldn't get pitched shit for is their military. For Canada's minuscule military buck they get a tremendous bang. Especially their army, which has always out-performed ours when it's been given the opportunity.
As for Columbus Day. Fuck this papering over it with puppies and kitties. Rename it "Conquerors Day." Make it a solemn occasion. Inject some honesty into the entire concept. Everything we are is based in conquest and slaughter. Let's stop hiding from it. We don't have to have parades, but we should remember invaders are what so easily can become.
And. For that matter we should rename the Department of Defense back to it's proper name The Department of War. That way politicians can't hide behind polite moral sounding euphemisms.
24
Columbus and the other explorers were motivated by lust for gold, self-serving Christianity, cheap labor when outright slavery isn't possible, and ignorance. They represent everything wrong with this country. So fuck Explorer's Day, too.
We should have one holiday celebrating immigration, another celebrating the collective impact of the first peoples who lived in our country, and a third celebrating the freedom of the people who are descendants of those brought to work and live here against their will. Those three elements together make up America.
We should have one holiday celebrating immigration, another celebrating the collective impact of the first peoples who lived in our country, and a third celebrating the freedom of the people who are descendants of those brought to work and live here against their will. Those three elements together make up America.
25
Fuck Columbus. We should honor Álvar Núñez Cabeza de Vaca.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Álvar_Núñez_Cabeza_de_Vaca
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41830…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Álvar_Núñez_Cabeza_de_Vaca
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/41830…
26
18 is right, the point isn't to celebrate exploration, er, genocide and slavery, but to celebrate Italian-American heritage. Unfortunately, in a way that inadvertantly celebrates genocide and slavery.
Neil Armstrong Day would be awesome (we should do that one anyways), but we would need to pick another Italian-American to replace Colombus Day.
Looking at this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Ita…
Maybe Sacco and Vanzetti Day, on the anniversary of their execution? Joseph Arpaio Day, where we can at least keep with the racist side of Colombus Day? Rudy Giuliani Day, which would involve a giant drag parade? Charles Ponzi Day, to celebrate American capitalism?
Neil Armstrong Day would be awesome (we should do that one anyways), but we would need to pick another Italian-American to replace Colombus Day.
Looking at this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Ita…
Maybe Sacco and Vanzetti Day, on the anniversary of their execution? Joseph Arpaio Day, where we can at least keep with the racist side of Colombus Day? Rudy Giuliani Day, which would involve a giant drag parade? Charles Ponzi Day, to celebrate American capitalism?
27
@19, 22 Sgt. Hulka says "Son, it ain't 1812 no more."
I think the balance of force has shifted slightly in the US's favor in the last 200 years. At least, that would be the way to bet.
I think the balance of force has shifted slightly in the US's favor in the last 200 years. At least, that would be the way to bet.
28
So it's settled... We attack at 6 pm. We'll strike as they are eating their french fries drenched in gravy and curds.
Victory shall be ours! And unlimited maple suryp for all Americans!!
Victory shall be ours! And unlimited maple suryp for all Americans!!
29
How about Heritage Day, where everyone is invited to celebrate their own family, ethnic, and religious heritage by offering gifts to their neighbors of other backgrounds. It could be about both pride and acceptance, it would honor immigrants and first peoples and African Americans. Italians could still celebrate, but without having to uphold that wretched scumbag Columbus. The Irish could celebrate without having to venerate that scumbag St. Patrick. Americans of Mexican descent could celebrate their heritage without having to deal with idiotic drunk white people on an obscure holiday that no one cares about but the bars. Everyone else would be able to focus on themselves instead of trying to appropriate the traditions of someone else. And we could all get riproaring drunk or not, as the spirit moves us.
My only fear is that this would end up as one huge interethnic race riot.
My only fear is that this would end up as one huge interethnic race riot.
30
Apparently, according to Google, South Africa already has this idea. Maybe they're on to something.
31
@27
Yes. We could crush them with just raw numbers. But that's no the point. It's unit performance and goals reached.
Read about Canadian Armed forces assault at Juno Beach.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normandy_la…
And even more recently in the Gulf and in Afghanistan the Canadian military performance has been, with only a few exceptions, top notch.
It's one of those "The More You Know" type deals.
Yes. We could crush them with just raw numbers. But that's no the point. It's unit performance and goals reached.
Read about Canadian Armed forces assault at Juno Beach.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normandy_la…
And even more recently in the Gulf and in Afghanistan the Canadian military performance has been, with only a few exceptions, top notch.
It's one of those "The More You Know" type deals.
33
Good points @31.
That said, the best idea would be to declare Columbus Day the day people seize assets and property from Banksters, and get double the reward for turning in CEOs and CFOs who illegally fail to report overseas holdings to the IRS.
Now that is something ALL of us can get behind.
Happy Thanksgiving!
That said, the best idea would be to declare Columbus Day the day people seize assets and property from Banksters, and get double the reward for turning in CEOs and CFOs who illegally fail to report overseas holdings to the IRS.
Now that is something ALL of us can get behind.
Happy Thanksgiving!
37
Growing up in New York, Columbus Day was always Italian-American Day. It was our St. Patrick's. So, it is sad that now Columbus is associated with so many negative things against Native Americans.
In reality, Columbus, even if he were a saint, doesn't really seem to have much to do with the founding of America since his explorations were to the West Indies and South America.
Also, Columbus of course existed before the founding of the US!
There are many other real Italian Americans who could be praised on day for Italians.
38
Hey, so what's more racist: Columbus Day, or the well-intentioned but clueless tokenism of changing it to be some kind of Native American day in a gesture that realistically does nothing to even recognize, much less attempt to rectify, all the historical evils associated with the subject?
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