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Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Slog Poll: Pumpkin Seeds Are a Triumph of Fall

Posted by Cienna Madrid on Wed, Oct 10, 2012 at 11:08 AM

So: We're sitting in our regularly scheduled editorial meeting where we enjoy high-minded conversations about new art openings and the nuances of pot legislation while patting ourselves on the back and obsessively polishing our hipster glasses, when all of a sudden someone brings up how great pumpkin seeds are.

Because they are. Fucking great. Roasted, salted, curried, garlicked to hell and back. Fucking delicious.

Only some people sitting around me got this look on their faces—that puckered asshole look—and started arguing that pumpkin seeds aren't all that fucking great because "there's not that much protein in them" and "they make your teeth hurt." Yeah, if your teeth are made of gummy bears instead of the hardest bone* in your body, like most people.

And I thought: "Who are these gummy-toothed assholes that surround me? Assholes who moan about pumpkin protein while stuffing Mound Bars end over end in their yawning cakeholes? Where's my face hammer???"

More importantly, are they alone? And so, good people of Slog, I ask you:

*Okay, teeth are not bones—they're stronger than bones. Whatever. Shuttup.

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Comments (25) RSS

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I think I still have a big bag from last year's pumpkins in the pantry. They're good if cooked just right, otherwise they stick in your gummy bear teeth.

Posted by Matt the Engineer on October 10, 2012 at 11:14 AM

I love shelled seeds on salads.

Posted by Pope Peabrain on October 10, 2012 at 11:15 AM

As a child I remember liking them SO MUCH and a lot of kids would have them at school during October from the pumpkins they carved. But now they taste like burnt bark. (and I'm a black coffee fan)

Posted by internet_jen on October 10, 2012 at 11:22 AM

Woa! Gummy bear teeth? Is that what's hip and edgy these days? Damn it, I can never keep track of these things...

Posted by ArtBasketSara on October 10, 2012 at 11:23 AM

I shall now support natural selection and always serve delicious pepitas to weed out the unfit gummy-toothed ones.

Posted by MemeGene on October 10, 2012 at 11:31 AM

The true wonder of fall is pumpkin pie, nothing else compares.

Posted by very bad homo on October 10, 2012 at 11:35 AM

And, there actually are quite high in protein. http://www.healthaliciousness.com/articl…

Posted by sam2300 on October 10, 2012 at 11:37 AM

They're good, but they're still the worst of the gourd seeds. Butternut squash seeds, in particular, are super delicious. It's a shame so many people throw them away.

Posted by why aren't I registered yet? on October 10, 2012 at 11:43 AM

@4 It's just that meth-head Frizzelle.

Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on October 10, 2012 at 11:44 AM

@3 Needz moar butter.

And probably less soy sauce.

Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on October 10, 2012 at 11:45 AM

My teeth are not made of gummy bears. I have quite an apatite for pumpkin seeds.

Posted by venomlash on October 10, 2012 at 11:52 AM

My teeth are doing just fine, but I don't eat pumpkin seeds if I can help it. There's just no there there. They have no flavor except what you put on them.

Posted by Prettybetsy on October 10, 2012 at 12:18 PM

Nice, @11.

Posted by rob!

on October 10, 2012 at 12:23 PM

@8 Thanks for the tip!

Posted by internet_jen on October 10, 2012 at 12:25 PM

I can't believe anybody ever buys them in the shell when, like sunflower seeds, they're readily and cheaply available unshelled at TJ's and in bulk at health-food stores. Of course, I've never understood nail-biting, either.

Posted by rob!

on October 10, 2012 at 12:27 PM

You roast the unborn??? Typical liberal baby-killers!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1h4KKfD2…

Posted by schmacky on October 10, 2012 at 12:29 PM

Or in English, if you prefer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDUPfdnis…

Posted by schmacky on October 10, 2012 at 12:32 PM

Teeth bones? Now I am scared for Cienna's partner if her teeth are in fact bone, because, well ....

Posted by blowdart on October 10, 2012 at 12:41 PM

What #2 said. Buy'em shelled and roasted. Why ride the bus when the train goes to the same place?

Posted by Dougsf on October 10, 2012 at 12:53 PM

Had the seeds at 10am with salt and a little chili powder, and had roasted pumpkin, carrot, yellow pepper, apple, sunflower butter soup for lunch. Much thanks to the Vegan Zombie for roasting instructions.

Posted by bedipped on October 10, 2012 at 1:45 PM

Please Hurt 'Em, Face Hammer!

Posted by yelahneb

on October 10, 2012 at 1:47 PM

TIP: When pumpkin seeds are out of season, simply toast shards of broken glass with a little salt and garlic and you can enjoy the same delicious flavor and gut-shredding texture all year long.

Posted by blip on October 10, 2012 at 1:57 PM

So I am the only person on earth pumpkin seeds give gut pains? Like, gut pains so bad when I went into labor I thought, "Huh, this isn't so bad?"

Must be my intestines are made of gummy bears, which seems plausible.

Posted by TVDinner

on October 10, 2012 at 3:39 PM

@23 You're not the only one. Pumpkin seeds make sense for food if you are, say, a termite or a panda and wood is the staple of your diet. But you are neither of those things. You are a human, and those pains you experience when you eat pumpkin seeds are your intestines' way of telling you to not eat salted wood chips as a snack.

Posted by blip on October 10, 2012 at 6:27 PM

pumpkin seeds are a delightful seasonal snack, to be enjoyed in limited quantity, like the quantity one would scoop from a pumpkin prior to baking said pumpkin, into a pie, perhaps.

buying the seeds absent the pumpkin (or other hard squash) is silly.

Posted by Thyme on October 10, 2012 at 11:25 PM