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Sunday, October 14, 2012

Slog Mormon Study: Doctrine and Covenants 52:42

Posted by on Sun, Oct 14, 2012 at 7:00 AM

[Slog Bible Study is on hiatus through the November election as we honor Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney by studying the scriptures of his Mormon religion.]

Doctrine and Covenants 52:42
And thus, even as I have said, if ye are faithful ye shall assemble yourselves together to rejoice upon the land of Missouri, which is the land of your inheritance, which is now the land of your enemies.



Comments (31) RSS

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And here I thought a land of milk and honey sounded lame.
Posted by Nate Dogg on October 14, 2012 at 7:14 AM · Report this
Wonder if there's a prophecy in the BoM re: Akins v. McKaskill?
Posted by Chicago Fan on October 14, 2012 at 7:16 AM · Report this
Fifty-Two-Eighty 3
Somebody should tell all those rednecks in Missouri that, if Romney gets elected, he's going to take their state away from them. That would get interesting fast.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on October 14, 2012 at 7:17 AM · Report this
Nick Saban's pregame speech from yesterday morning?
Posted by Nate Dogg on October 14, 2012 at 7:17 AM · Report this
“Missouree” or “Missouruh.”

Origins of the coming great Mormon schism.
Posted by BLUE on October 14, 2012 at 7:24 AM · Report this
pfffter 6
Verily I say unto you, the road to hell is paved with votes for Mitt Romney.
Posted by pfffter on October 14, 2012 at 7:47 AM · Report this
YakHerder 7
I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Mizzourah!
Posted by YakHerder on October 14, 2012 at 7:51 AM · Report this
Skot 8
Hey, even Mormons need meth.
Posted by Skot on October 14, 2012 at 8:13 AM · Report this
If you had your pick of awarding any region in North America to your favorite cultural group, would your first choice be Missouri?

And if Romney wins, will that mean we'll have four-years-plus of Slog Mormon study?
Posted by floater on October 14, 2012 at 8:25 AM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 10
They can have the fucking place.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on October 14, 2012 at 8:27 AM · Report this
I wish they'd stayed there.
Posted by StuckInUtah on October 14, 2012 at 8:30 AM · Report this
rob! 12
"Missouri loves company." Can't figger why they never put that on their license plates.
Posted by rob! on October 14, 2012 at 8:43 AM · Report this
MacCrocodile 13
@9, 11 - It was not their first choice. Mormon history is a long series of holy lands and gifts from God, each one they are then driven out of by an angry mob. Well, we were done with that one anyway. Besides, this horrible, barely-habitable shithole is the real promised land.
Posted by MacCrocodile on October 14, 2012 at 8:48 AM · Report this
MacCrocodile 14
Behold, the Garden of Eden!
Posted by MacCrocodile on October 14, 2012 at 8:52 AM · Report this
Fred Casely 15
@14: Figures the Mormon Eden is now most notably the headquarters of Hallmark.
Posted by Fred Casely on October 14, 2012 at 9:30 AM · Report this
OuterCow 16
@12 Times like this remind me why I love you so much, rob!
Posted by OuterCow on October 14, 2012 at 9:33 AM · Report this
Tacoma Traveler 17
They wandered around upstate New York, Indiana and Missouri looking for the promised land. They only settled in Utah because it was outside the US borders at the time. That way they could get away from the long arm of the law, which had a few things to say about forced marriages of underage girls to creepy old men, polygamy, and acts which could be called treasonous such as when they formed an armed militia with the intent of establishing their own government at odds with the Union.

Brigham Young, the second Mormon President even declared war on America.

Posted by Tacoma Traveler on October 14, 2012 at 9:57 AM · Report this
Michael of the Green 18
[god reaches the bottom of his list]
Uh... and verily, ye shall gather at the lake of undrinkable water and unfarmable land.
Posted by Michael of the Green on October 14, 2012 at 9:58 AM · Report this
MacCrocodile 19
@15 - Not only that, Independence, Missouri (in Jackson County) is also known as the home of Harry Truman, birthplace of Ginger Rogers, the place you buy your bullets and oxen in The Oregon Trail, and the source of my most potent childhood traumas.
Posted by MacCrocodile on October 14, 2012 at 10:09 AM · Report this
Sargon Bighorn 21
"the Oumessourit, which meant “people of the big canoes.” Yeah "your enemies" among others in the area. The name morphed into Missouri. Of course we all know the indigenous people were wiped out by smallpox and the like (God's work don't cha know). This is all such a perversion of humanity.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on October 14, 2012 at 11:34 AM · Report this
I didn't know that we in St. Louis had so much in common with the Palestinians.
Posted by RLC3 on October 14, 2012 at 12:20 PM · Report this
in-frequent 23
The way in which the mormons were driven from missouri was pretty-much as anti-american (or anti-justice) as you can get. other than that, you may continue.
Posted by in-frequent on October 14, 2012 at 12:31 PM · Report this
"And it shall come to pass that thou shalt return to the places where thy forebears were run out of town by angry multitudes; who came bearing torches, and farming implements, and carbines, and feathers from the birds of the air and burning pitch from the ground, all turned to the purpose of violence and intimidation against the sacred personage of Joseph Smith and the followers that did cleave to him. And thou shalt again have dominion over those places as thou once did. And then they'll be sorry."
Posted by Proteus on October 14, 2012 at 12:43 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 25
From The Outlaw Josey Wales:…
Posted by Urgutha Forka on October 14, 2012 at 4:30 PM · Report this
Yeah, but none of this is supposed to happen in Missouri until after the coming of Christ, so it doesn't really matter. Far more interesting is the verse two before that one: "And remember in all things the poor and the needy, the sick and the afflicted, for he that doeth not these things, the same is not my disciple." (D&C 52:40). Whether Mormons or anyone else follows that verse is a far better measure of who they are than obscure doctrines about the last days.
Posted by baguioboy on October 14, 2012 at 4:46 PM · Report this
Goldy 27
@26 Who are you to pick and choose which scripture is important and which is not? It's all God's word. (Supposedly.)
Posted by Goldy on October 14, 2012 at 5:06 PM · Report this
Wtf I'm tired of this bizarro bible. At least King James gives me something tO think about.
Posted by bozbozeman on October 14, 2012 at 9:18 PM · Report this
The Third Rail 29
You know this was originally written as satire?
Posted by The Third Rail on October 14, 2012 at 9:47 PM · Report this
McBomber 30
For a group that was harassed, murdered and chased out of places like Missouri, largely because of their definition of marriage, you'd think they wouldn't want the modern government telling us whom we can or cannot marry, right?
Posted by McBomber on October 14, 2012 at 9:50 PM · Report this
"And I believe, that the Garden of Eden was in Jackson County Missouri, I am a Mormon, and a Mormon just believes"

Book of Mormon Musical "I Believe"

A lot of wacky stuff.
Posted by Why are there cars? on October 15, 2012 at 12:13 AM · Report this
Sir Vic 32
@17 Actually, it was New York, then Ohio, then Illinois & Missouri, and finally SLC. The Promised Land just kept moving on them. They weren't quite able to match the wandering Israelites for genocide along the way, but not for lack of trying.
Posted by Sir Vic on October 15, 2012 at 6:18 AM · Report this

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