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Monday, October 15, 2012

The Walking Dead Chitty-Chat Club!

Posted by on Mon, Oct 15, 2012 at 11:01 AM

Well, well, well! Look who's back for another season of zombie skull skewering: It's The Walking Dead—but hold on... are you telling me it's even more bleak than usual? AND SOMEBODY GOT BIT? Dude... we gotta chitty-chat about this! Join me after the jump for my spoilery thoughts on last night's episode, and let's get chitty-chatting!

Not the face!! Not My Beautiful FAAAACE!!

So here's what I'm thinking about this episode entitled, "Seed"...

1) Apparently the collective snores of America were heard, because FINALLY the gang has escaped from Farmer McSnoozy's farm and are back where they belong: running for their lives and squishin' zombie skulls.

2) Roughly six months have passed because Lori's baby is practically sticking it's head out of her veej to see what all the noise is about. Also Carl is about a foot taller, and a card-carrying member of the NRA. (Sweet silencer, Carl!)

3) The gang is being encroached upon on all sides by the undead (damn urban sprawl!), so it's whoopty-doo time when they find a prison which could be a great home... you know... all things considered. Basically, it just needs to be cleaned up a bit—which means a hilariously long sequence of jabbing out zombie eyes with fireplace pokers, and a stupid waste of ammunition. (Next time shoot your guns in the air to celebrate, idiots.)

4) Once the yard is cleared, everyone is ready to camp out for awhile... except of course, Dictator Rick who wants to go on a massive zombie hunt and reclaim the inside of the prison for themselves. Lori is all like, "I'm a wet blanket, Rick! I apparently assume I can live outside with no tents or cover for a long time and give a healthy, happy birth to my child! Also, why does everyone hate me?"

5) Cut to Michonne (the ninja who leads two jawless, armless zombies around on chains—which I can accept... but did she really have to save Blondie McGunnerson? I STILL HATE HER.) Anyway, Blondie is all like, "Leave me behind, I'm only slowing you dowwwwwn!" And we're all like, "She's absolutely right! Leave her behind, because she's slowing you dowwwwn and also we hate herrrrrrrr!!"

6) After a couple of campfire songs—who is that young blonde girl that wants to bone Carl, by the way? I figure she's the farmer's daughter who went nutzo last season, but she's so unremarkable I can't recall. ANYWAY! The gang fights their way into the prison—learning how to dispatch zombie riot cops in the process. (I hope the anarchists weren't watching this!) And once they're in their cells, the first thing everybody wants to do is BONE. Sophie's mom tries to bone redneck Darryl, Maggie tries to bone Glenn, and Carl tries to bone Campfire Girl. The only who's NOT gonna bone is Lori, because she's a wet blanket AND THE WORST. (Hey, Lori! Your unborn baby isn't dead! It's just IGNORING you, like everyone else is trying to do.)

7) It's a new day! Which means it's time for another assault on the prison—this time to look for food and weapons. The gang wanders into a dark, creeeeepy part of the prison (which looks like a promo for American Horror Story: Asylum debuting this Wednesday on FX, I wasn't paid to write that), and naturally they're attacked and find themselves separated from each other. While trying to find his daughter, Farmer McSnoozy gets leg bit by a VERY sneaky zombie. (Have you noticed how some are super crafty but most are dumb as rocks? What's up with that?) Well, I guess there's nothing left to do but CHOP, CHOP, CHOP McSnoozy's leg off. Because... ummm... well... since he's gonna become a zombie regardless, there wasn't a really good reason to do that, was there? But how often do you get the opportunity to chop off someone's leg, amirite?

8) WHAAAAAT THAAAAA FAAAAAAWWWK??? There are other non-zombie prisoners living here??? (Even if you haven't read the comics, you saw that coming from a mile away, didn't you?)

9) So that was that one. I liked it because I like senseless violence, with as little humanity as possible. BUT WHAT DID YOU THINK? Don't just sit there... let's get chitty-chatting!

Left eyeball in the corner pocket. Kaaaa-zing!
  • Courtesy AMC
  • "Left eyeball in the corner pocket." Kaaaa-zing!

 

Comments (10) RSS

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1
I love everything about the Walking Dead, except the writing and the "pro"tagonists.

The situation can be fraught enough without making these dithering idiots too stupid to live.

Falling Skies is superior in this respect.
Posted by Zombie Birth, ala "V" Would Be Awesome on October 15, 2012 at 11:14 AM · Report this
2
I like that the show if finally getting back on the right track. I just hope they don't do that thing where they take two pages of the comic book and stretch them into half of a season like they did on Season 2.
Oh, and they better follow the comic book with Lori's story line. That would make me very happy.
Posted by BrownBear on October 15, 2012 at 11:26 AM · Report this
3
At least we don't have to deal with Carl wandering off and endangering everyone now that he's a silenced pistol wielding zombie shooting machine
Posted by fsb on October 15, 2012 at 11:27 AM · Report this
4
So the whole bite thing: was discussing this with a friend this morning and the amputation seems to throw into doubt the whole "bite=automatic zombie" theory. When you think about it, the only person we've seen get bit without being killed by trauma was Jim, and that was in the stomach/chest. So two theories on this: either it's like a B western snake bite where the zombie venom can be stopped by hacking off a limb OR the bite itself doesn't kill you--but the would gets infected and you die from that. They must have filthy mouths. This is like a Komodo dragon, whose mouth is filled with bacteria that almost always causes sepsis and infection.
Posted by PoliGeek on October 15, 2012 at 1:03 PM · Report this
5
The thing that frustrates me is the complete lack of strategy. Examples: When they wanted to take over the prison yard and were safely between the two perimeter gates, and after they had the yard and wanted to take the prison, in both situation why didn't the just lure the zombies over and poke em in the eyes. And if they are going to shoot zombies why don't they shoot all the zombies they can from safety before sending in Grimes or the others. Well, lets just say I think I'd mak it a little longer than these idiots but that doesn't mean it's not fun to watch.

Also, @4, if the bite somehow exposes you to zombie venom, they why do they go around hacking zombies without something over their faces. Seems like some of that splatter would end up in your mouth or eyes. Gross.

Season 2 was tedious, let's see what this one has in store.
Posted by yeti on October 15, 2012 at 1:59 PM · Report this
6
I really like this show. I don't care about minute details or everyone's nitpicking complaints. It's based on a comic book! It's about ZOMBIES! I laugh every time someone complains about how it's not realistic. Seriously?!
Posted by xina on October 15, 2012 at 2:18 PM · Report this
Simone 7
The idea is that they are infected already. So, in theory no matter how you die (natural causes, infection, blood loss, etc) you will come back as a zombie until someone shoots your brains out.

I'm guessing if someone gets bit and the wound is infected (I can imagine that a zombie mouth/teeth are not clean) you get a fever and worse that isn't curable. The bite/scratch could be some sort of way of activating the infection that is already present in the body. If that's the case then they should also be worried about swallowing some of that blood splatter from all that brain bashing they do.

Anyway, I'm not worried about the science of it. I just watch it for the zombies.
Posted by Simone on October 15, 2012 at 4:40 PM · Report this
Free Lunch 8
Seems like they took a big risk by going in and combatting the zombies face-to-face when impaling them through the fence was so effective.
Posted by Free Lunch on October 15, 2012 at 8:16 PM · Report this
freesandbags 9
Git Some Carl!! Git Some!!
Posted by freesandbags on October 15, 2012 at 8:21 PM · Report this
veo_ 10
I gave up on Walking Dead in Season 2. I just don't care anymore. This is my impression of season 2: "BORING. BORING. STUPID CHOICES, BORING. *YAWN* Oh, is that a zombie?! No, just a rehashing of the same fight bitch wife and sherrif have been having for 294 episodes."
Posted by veo_ on October 15, 2012 at 11:36 PM · Report this

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