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1
"a Secretary of State with a vagina (three of them!)"

Are you saying that there are three Secretaries of State with vaginas? Or are you saying that Hilary Clinton has...

...?
2
Are you comparing 50 Shades of Gray to skyscrapers?
GOD DAMMIT.
3
You tell 'em, Dan.

I bet those things you mentioned shock many people today (if you know what I mean?).
4
Powderless wigs!
5
Not to mention Bourbon since they all made and drank Rye
6
Germ theory. Antibiotics. Curable disease. You know, health care. Shocking!
7
"#FoundersNotGods" Yes, please keep saying this FOREVER.
8
Also, banned hemp farming.
9
To be fair Rob McKenna's staff still finds Asian Americans shocking...
10
Some of those things probably wouldn't have shocked the Founding Fathers - or at least a few of them. They were a lot more liberal than the Republicans pretend they were.
11
I imagine that just about anyone would find a person with three vaginas shocking. But once the shock wore off, many people would undoubtedly find that delightful.
12
Horseless carriages and hummuhsekshal marriages!!

(clutching pearls)
13
Hell, they'd probably be shocked by indoor plumbing. Lets ban that too.
14
The Book Of Mormon, both literal and musical.
15
"Aberrant" is a totally relative word.
16
I think we can agree that this allegation that Hilary Clinton has 3 vaginas should be substantiated, or that sentence improved, before we continue.
17
"Aberrant" to whom? Gay sex was no doubt around hundredes of thousands of years befor the two parent household. If you want aberrant, look at the priesthood. Now that's aberrant!
18
I honestly think Peter is mentally ill. There's no other explanation.
19
@4 - Please watch your language. There are ladies present.
20
Hilary Clinton with 3 vaginas is fun, but if you want it to say what you meant, move "(three of them!)" three words up to between "State" and "with." Actually just leave it where it is.
21
Pop-Tarts are pretty shocking. Who eats that shit?
22
I am fairly certain the three vaginas being referred to are those owned by the three female SoS we have had in the last 15 years. Hilary Clinton, Condi Rice, and Madeleine Albright.

But I too am intrigued by the possibility of a three vagina creature. I'm thinking it was what was under the hood of the three breasted hooker in Total Recall.
23
I was with you until Pop-Tarts. I happen to know for a fact that toaster pastries were in an early draft of the constitution.
24
Sliced bread. Kleenex. Underwear.

Come on, with the exception of Ben Franklin, the Founding Fathers would faint dead away if they were magically transported from 1776 to 2012.
25
Three vaginas would really be kind of a waste — especially since half the women in this country (especially the "happily married" ones) don't appreciate the one they already have.
26
I'll just leave this here.

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/notroc…
27
"He spoke into this small black rectangular laquer box... oh! God Protect us! It shines forth with an other-earthly light of it's own and look - projects devilish runes of some ancient power upon it's smooth face!"

"Mr. Jefferson.... it's an iPhone..."

"Argh! A demonic force!"

"No. You use it to talk to your friends over great distances."

"You.. Oh. Ingenius! Hmmm... but AT&T... TIS SATAN AFTER ALL!"
28
Snooki. Honey Boo Boo. Dr. Drew Pinsky.
Chicken McNuggets.
Jerry Falwell. Pat Robertson. The entire Televangelism industry, and every priest, minister or politician who has ever suggested that the laws of the country be based upon biblical principles.
29
Jefferson inherited his slaves.
30
Maybe the most shocking thing would be the way the right wing misrepresents their views. Thomas Jefferson would never stop having to say, "No, I'm a deist."
31
That's right #24, Ben would be too busy checking out all the new microbreweries to be shocked by anything. :-)

@26 FTW!
32
Agree with your sentiment that the founders are not gods, but doubt that Jefferson would find the idea of free blacks shocking considering he freed several in his lifetime and in his will. Also, Europe had banned slavery so he was certaining familiar with the concept.
34
@32 Yeah but he was such a prick about it. Seriously. Read the Smithsonian article. He never freed all slaves even in death or when paid for it and split up families when he did.
35
I really don't think 50 shades would've shocked the founders. The Marquis De Sade had invented and had published works that established the genre of fictional sadism around the time that Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, and John Adams were in France...so it's not too big a leap that they would've read his works.
36
@33: Yahtzee would probably shock the founding fathers indeed, a British person living in Australia that's not a criminal or poor person? Shocking indeed...

Also I can't wait until I get my hands on a copy of Jam ^^
37
@35: That doesn't mean that they wouldn't have been publicly shocked though, reading Marquis De Sade was never considered "good taste" and he was always most popular with lower classes since most of his work was a brutal satire of the ruling class, if you cared too look beyond the perversions of it all.
38
50 Shades wouldn't have shocked them. They had badly-written porn back then too.
39
John Jay actually had 3 vaginas. Not many people know that today, but in 1789 it was widely talked about and the young nation was surprisingly liberal on the question. It wasn't until well after Reconstruction that cabinet members with multiple female sex organs fell out of favor.
40
I trust that the reason no one has said this is that it's obvious, but, for the record:

Rights for those who love members of their own sex--or whose love otherwise doesn't fit conventional gender norms--aren't based on sex (aberrant or otherwise).
41
Electricity too. I understand one of them was *quite* shocked by it, in fact.
42
Dear Dan Savage, I have three vaginas. Do you think I should put that on my resume when I apply for political positions, or is it just understood that that is a required qualification?
43
Hilary Clinton has 3 vaginas? No wonder Slick Willie strayed. No man could satisfy a woman with 3 vaginas.
44
I strongly object! Ben Franklin would take all that in stride, though he might ask what "pegging" is. He was big on threesomes, though.