Lesson learned from last night's episode? Don't cross Rick, unless you'd like your skull bifurcated with a machete. (Did I use that word right? Bifurcated? Whatever.) Join me after the jump for my thoughts, your thoughts, and lots of spoilery spoilers about last night's episode of The Walking Dead! LET'S GET TO CHITTY-CHATTIN'!
"Don't 'cross' my bow... amirite? Thankyew! I'll be here all week."
So here's what I'm thinking about season three, episode 2: "Sick"...
1) Man, isn't moving into a new neighborhood the WORST? Especially if there's a neighborhood association—led by the DUMBEST prisoner ever! Instead of welcoming the gang with apple cobbler, the five remaining inmates act like complete dicks to the gang, while Farmer Drunky "One-Leg" McDoctor is rushed back to the cell block to become even more of a liability—if that's possible.
2) Lori tries to convince Rick she's not a shitty wife by giving him the go-ahead to murder all the prisoners. "Yeah, honey... I'll take that under advisement."
3) SERIOUSLY, guys! We don't need Farmer McDrunky around anymore! Mostly because Carol has completed her online doctoring courses—AND got extra credit for practicing her C-section unit on a female zombie! (YUM! Who wants pudding? Oh, maybe it's the weirdo peeking at Carol through the trees!)
4) Carl... first of all, get a haircut... second of all, don't be a reckless dick... third of all, don't be a goddamn crybaby when mom scolds you for being a reckless dick... and fourth... hmmm.... what was fourth? OH YEAH! Fourth, thanks for getting all those medical supplies and saving McDrunky's life.
5) Those prisoners are the WORST zombie killers ever! HAHAHAHAHAAAAA!! But they sure are entertaining. However, entertainment only takes one so far (as I know all too well), and Rick finally gets bored of it when the prison ringleader tosses an open-mouthed zombie on him. How does the gentle Rick respond? BIFURCATION TIME! (Lori would be so proud. Sniff!)
6) Rick repays another prisoner by locking him into the yard with a bunch of walkers (Chow time!), but lets the last two live... at least until he feels like doing a little more bifurcating.
7) Farmer McDrunky momentarily dies, Lori brings him back to life, and he returns the favor by trying to French her?!?PERVERT. Later he momentarily awakes to grab Rick's hand—his way of saying thanks for hacking off his leg?!? Farmer McDrunky is fucking WEIRD.
8) The episode ends with Lori and Rick taking a private moment to not talk. (She's like Mitt Romney... a lot more likable when her mouth is shut.) But all in all, a good day, right? After all... BIFURCATION!
9) I like gore, so I liked this episode—plus it had a couple of nice shockers, too! Looks like we get to spend some time next week with Michonne, Blondie McGunnerson, and... oh, top o' the mornin', GUVNAH! Tell me what you thought in the comments, and see you next week!