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Monday, October 29, 2012

Breaking News: Carrots

Posted by on Mon, Oct 29, 2012 at 3:57 PM

Let's say you're stuck at your eye doctor in Renton, which doubles as a Dairy Queen because you meet all your health needs via discount medical coupons purchased online (also: free ice cream!). And your eye doctor is too busy fixing the soft-serve machine to see you, and near-sighted children are screaming for Dip Cones, and the Internet is preoccupied with the weather. What the fuck do you do?

You read about carrots. Because apparently, they're making a comeback:

Carrots, those little spark plugs in a salad or a stew, have suddenly become an engine driving restaurant menus. Chefs across the country are showcasing handsome, meaty specimens in a rainbow of colors, dressed and garnished without a sliver of meat or fish. Well, maybe a touch of bacon.

People are feeling more comfortable with having something like carrots in the center of the plate,” said Dan Kluger, the executive chef at ABC Kitchen in New York, where a salad of roasted carrots and avocado has become one of his most popular, and imitated, dishes.

Troy Guard, the chef and owner of TAG in Denver, makes a carrot taco that puts the root vegetable through its paces, with a carrot tortilla and a filling of braised carrots, a salad of raw carrots and cilantro, and guacamole.

Last year brussels sprouts were really huge,” he said. “Now it’s carrots.”

And then you pray to Jesus Carrot-Humping Christ for your eye-doctor-slash-DQ manager to offer up a couple of forks, so that you may take care of your eye and entertainment problems in two quick twists of the wrist.


Comments (16) RSS

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Rotten666 1
I was actually eating a carrot as I read that post.

Posted by Rotten666 on October 29, 2012 at 4:04 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 2
As usual, rabbits have been ahead of us for years.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on October 29, 2012 at 4:13 PM · Report this
Fifty-Two-Eighty 3
Eh, what's up, Doc?
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on October 29, 2012 at 4:26 PM · Report this
Ugh. I really hate carrots. Carrots and cauliflower are the only two vegetables I won't even taste.

And beans, but they aren't vegetables. They are little sacs filled with gritty paste.
Posted by Sheryl on October 29, 2012 at 4:33 PM · Report this
It's true. There's quite a bit of pressure to grow carrots in our community garden. I've resisted because carrots are horrible, bitter things. I grew radishes instead.

But get ready local food bank: next year you're going to be trendy.
Posted by viiless on October 29, 2012 at 4:47 PM · Report this
@4, Poor soul. Life becomes that much sadder each time you subtract a food (industrial food excluded) from your diet. Would life be worth living without beans, carrots and cauliflower (and who knows what else you don't eat)? I don't know ;) but if you lived in my house, you'd have to give it the minimum 3 bites try.
Posted by anon1256 on October 29, 2012 at 5:43 PM · Report this
I love carrots, cauliflower, and beans. In fact, carrots are about my favorite vegetables.
Posted by Clayton on October 29, 2012 at 5:52 PM · Report this
Cato the Younger Younger 8
Fuck the carrots, there's and eye doctor who fucking serves you soft serve ice cream!?!?!?
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on October 29, 2012 at 5:56 PM · Report this
Dougsf 9
If this carrot trend does anything to displace eggplant on menus, I'm all for it.
Posted by Dougsf on October 29, 2012 at 5:59 PM · Report this
leek 10
Raw carrots: fabulous. Cooked carrots: incredibly horrendous. It's a mystifying transmogrification.
Posted by leek on October 29, 2012 at 6:03 PM · Report this
@10, Boiled carrots perhaps but, from vichyssoise, jardiniere, etc to any kind of stew, cooked carrots are the opposite of horrendous. A leek should know better.
Posted by anon1256 on October 29, 2012 at 6:47 PM · Report this
Wait. Brussels sprouts were really huge? Where was I? Oh, and they should have capitalized Brussels.
Posted by jzimbert on October 29, 2012 at 7:07 PM · Report this
Fistique 13
Is there not some way we could sell off the NYT's culture section to pay for the establishment of some kind of media outlet with two clues to rub together?
Posted by Fistique on October 29, 2012 at 8:40 PM · Report this
Mischa Vainburg 14
@4: "Little sacs filled with gritty paste": very apt, and exactly why I love beans ;)
If you don't like carrots, I propose that you've never had a good one.
Posted by Mischa Vainburg on October 29, 2012 at 8:43 PM · Report this
watchout5 15
Grilled carrot with cream cheese and bacon wrapped up like a hotdog. ./thread
Posted by watchout5 on October 29, 2012 at 11:54 PM · Report this
lauramae 16
I don't like carrots. I've tried. People say "try this carrot, it's sweet and delicious." It never is. A carrot always has that overwhelming beta carotene taste. Or, like drinking well water out of a garden hose.
Posted by lauramae on October 30, 2012 at 12:04 AM · Report this

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