VOTE OR WELL KILL YOU: Click the cheat sheet.
  • VOTE OR WE'LL KILL YOU: Click the cheat sheet.
Subways Return to Service, Free: Fourteen of New York's 23 subway lines rumbled to life at 5:30 a.m. this morning, shuttle buses are up and running, and the city has required at least three people in every vehicle entering Manhattan by major bridges. New Jersey, meanwhile, is still under four feet of water. Aw, and look at all these lost pets!

Back on the Campaign Trail: Obama is expected to deliver rousing speeches on how to save the middle class in Wisconsin, Nevada, and Colorado on Thursday before returning to the self-important state of Ohio on Friday.

O'Dea Principal Resigns: As the Seattle private school announces that he's accused of sexually abusing a minor while working for another diocese in the 1970s.

Kick Me in the Groin: Portland police say a sex offender is posting Craigslist ads across the country, looking for women with "strong legs, such as soccer players or kick boxers" to repeatedly kick him in the groin.

Another School Shooting: This time at the University of Southern California in LA, where yesterday an argument at a campus Halloween party ended with gunfire that wounded four people. Two suspects have been arrested in connection with the shooting.

An Odd But Necessary Step: "The Nigerian state of Akwa Ibom has introduced a law that makes it illegal to accuse children of witchcraft and sorcery."

Energized to Death: A relatives claims that shotgunning 5-Hour Energy helped kill her nephew, 18-year-old Washington State freshman Kenny Hummel, by giving him the get-up-and-go to keep drinking. Hummel was found in his dorm room last Saturday with a BAC of 0.4 (for comparison's sake, the legal limit for driving is .08).

Punch a Shark, Save a Life: I always thought this was a myth, much like "wearing seatbelts saves lives."

Will Women Dominate the Workforce as Our Country Transitions to a Postindustrial, Service- and Knowledge-Based Economy? Nope, says this article with tons of free graphs to stare at.

Stolen Matisse Recovered: A pair pled guilty to trying to sell the $3 million painting that was stolen from a Venezuelan gallery a decade ago.

And finally, remember to VOTE if you haven't already.