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Saturday, November 3, 2012

The Morning News: Zebra Mussels, Stolen Booze, Water Bills

Posted by on Sat, Nov 3, 2012 at 9:56 AM

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Alleged Puppy-Punching: A 19-year-old Ethel man was arrested yesterday on suspicion of first degree animal cruelty and underage possession of alcohol after allegedly punching a puppy in the face and throwing it against a tree. If convicted, the suspect will be known as a (insert expletive phrase).

Musseled: A Marysville driver is facing a possible felony after his second arrest for allegedly hauling a boat with zebra mussels aboard into Washington State via I-90. Zebra muscles are known to be damn nuisances, clogging drains and covering docks. Department of Fish and Wildlife officers ordered the recreational boat to be decontaminated of its 100 or so zebra mussels by a "hot-water spray."

Oh Snap: An Alaska Marine Highway ferry worker was hurt after a cable snapped on a loading ramp and she fell twenty feet, landing on the ramp at the Bellingham Cruise Terminal. While no one saw how she landed, witnesses say she appeared to have hurt her back in a reminder that shit happens.

Stolen Booze Sting: Four people were arrested for allegedly buying stolen liquor in a Seattle Police sting. Police recovered 457 bottles of booze from one suspect's house. The sting began after a "prolific alcohol thief was arrested" in September, admitting he stole up to $40,000 in booze each month. Facing felony prison time, the thief turned informant and led the cops to his customers. None of the four people have been charged as of yet.

A Bill to Bear: The Greek Orthodox patriarchate is threatening to close the Church of the Holy Sepulchre to protest the $2.1 million it owes an Israeli water company. Since the Holy Sepulchre is thought to be the site of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection, the Greek Orthodox Church argues that the site is too holy for water fees.

Rebels Rebels: Syrian rebels began a campaign to seize a key airbase in Taftanaz with rocket launchers and mortars. With the base, rebels seek to gain an advantageous position allowing them to survey the skies between Damascus and Aleppo, the country's two largest cities.

Foreign Affair: A Secret Service agent killed himself after a fellow agent told higher-ups about his colleague's long-term affair with a Mexican woman. The agent who told on the married man was being investigated for his own affair with Columbian prostitutes in preparing for President Obama's visit to Cartegena last April. The agency is stingy with its agents' relationships with foreign citizens, viewing them as potential national security risks.

Oh Frack: A scientist for the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Protection did not report the full range of toxic metals found in wells near fracking sites. The findings are being used as part of a lawsuit involving seven plaintiffs sickened by the drinking water.

Here is a metaphor for what fracking does to drinking water illustrated by the meeting of a train and a water truck:


Comments (21) RSS

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Muscles? Sight? Can any of the Stranger interns spell?
Posted by originalcinner on November 3, 2012 at 9:42 AM · Report this
CripKev 2
MUSSELS, not muscles.
SITE, not sight.
Posted by CripKev on November 3, 2012 at 9:47 AM · Report this
heywhatsit!? 3
Muscles. Muscles. All strength, no spirit. Without spirit, fighting becomes just a sort of muscle weighing contest.
Posted by heywhatsit!? on November 3, 2012 at 9:49 AM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 4
Apparently the entire staff of the Stranger is hung over, and they've turned Slog over to an intern who spells even worse than I do.

Weeee! Right on!
Posted by Reverse Polarity on November 3, 2012 at 10:09 AM · Report this
ScrawnyKayaker 5
Second offense? They should decontaminate the idiot's boat with a hot, flaming, gasoline spray.
Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on November 3, 2012 at 10:24 AM · Report this
dnt trust me 6
In defense of intern, I handwrite a lot of reports for my job, and my spelling is atrocious, embarrasing. I blame spellcheck and autocorrect.
Posted by dnt trust me on November 3, 2012 at 10:24 AM · Report this
Only 1 seattle times link today. nice!
Posted by Justin on November 3, 2012 at 10:36 AM · Report this
Colombian, not Columbian.

It's totally indefensible to have this many errors. Blaming spell check is lame. Particularly when it comes to Spanish names and words, being well educated today means having basic familiarity. charles once called it The el Camino or something. Lame. The Columbia misspelling happens frequently. Stupid, ignorant americans again. What would you think of an Italian intern at a alt hip blog site in rome who spelled our nationality as Amerigan, because you know, it was Amerigo Vespucci? Understandable mistake? What?
Posted by no mames guey on November 3, 2012 at 10:38 AM · Report this
dnt trust me 9

Ok, let me put it this way, spell check makes me look a whole lot more competent than I really am.
Besides, being lame, stupid and ignorant are core values of us Amuricans. Please don't ask me to write 3 sentences about Vespucci off the top of my head. I NEED google! I NEED Wikipedia!
Posted by dnt trust me on November 3, 2012 at 10:57 AM · Report this
In California (where the road known as the El Camino is) it's always referred to as "the El Camino". Because, you know, we're speaking in English about a thing which has a proper name, not in Spanish about any old road.
Posted by sarah70 on November 3, 2012 at 10:59 AM · Report this
Sen. Maria Cantwell's Alternate Universe

Doubtful the infantilized (especially male, but female as well) population of America can comprehend the following, but please make the attempt.

Sen. Cantwell claims she has a plan to "..stop tax breaks for companies that ship American jobs overseas."

Remarkable, given that every single time Sen. Byron Dorgan introduced legislation or amendments which would do exactly that same thing, Cantwell voted them down!

Did someone replace the evil Cantwell with a good Cantwell from another universe?????…

Posted by sgt_doom on November 3, 2012 at 11:01 AM · Report this
Geraldo Riviera 12
That is a $500,000 Vactor truck.
Posted by Geraldo Riviera on November 3, 2012 at 11:02 AM · Report this
heywhatsit!? 13
@8 jeez. Settle the fuck down. I'm sure people across the world misspell a thing or two. And you didn't capitalize the "C" in Charles. Suck hard, weirdo.
Posted by heywhatsit!? on November 3, 2012 at 11:03 AM · Report this
Quincy 14
"Columbia" is rong also. No one cawt that. Yer all dum.
Posted by Quincy on November 3, 2012 at 11:31 AM · Report this
@9 10 13.
People around the world don't misspell Colombia and don't in fact misspell names of states or nations or nationalities as much as americans do. if people means people writing news. your defense of ignorance is stunning.

sarah: yes, I agree, many californians are utterly ignorant. your point?

btw it wasn't about a road in california. it was about a restaurant here in seattle. el camino. Do you also say "let's go hear The Der Meistersinger"? "Do you believe in the la docle vita?"? "Let's go buy tickets to The Les Miserables!"? Stop being so fucking hardheaded in defense of utter ignorance. @13, you get props for imitating redneck morons the best. angry reaction. It's a fairly common and well known error that we have the Columbia River and the District of Columbia and we have the nation called Colombia. Mots people with a college education get it right. Only the most ignorant would defend making this mistake. as for capitalization, (a) obvoiusly I'm not trying, (b) I am not writing for a news paper, duh.
Posted by the los gringos tontos on November 3, 2012 at 12:02 PM · Report this
rob! 16
What 12 said. Used for cleaning out municipal sewers, storm drains, etc. Whatever liquid being carried was not something you'd want to drink.

If you turn up the volume a bit on the video, you can hear emergency brakes applied right at 0:06, about 5 seconds before impact. The truck driver likely survived without serious injuries since the cab was not in the impact zone, but I bet he got his head smacked against the door pretty good on the rebound. The train would have traveled at least another half-mile before stopping completely.
Posted by rob! on November 3, 2012 at 12:19 PM · Report this
I remember when I used to hop in the El Camino and drive up the El Camino for dinner at El Camino, ranting the whole way about what presumptuous dicks the French were for changing walkie-talkie to talkie-walkie, or where the Japanese got off coming up with a pseudo-anglicism like skinship. The nerve, right?
Posted by PCM on November 3, 2012 at 1:35 PM · Report this
Hey Al,

Don't worry about the hard asses. My wife--a person who's been employed as an editor--made one unintentional typo when she did a Morning News on a weekend as a Stranger intern a couple of years back. She was right and truly hammered in the comments for it.

Keep an eye out, but otherwise fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
Posted by The Big Foist on November 3, 2012 at 1:57 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 19
I never had a spell check until I got Firefox. Fucking Explorer just collects garbage.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on November 3, 2012 at 2:44 PM · Report this
"O they will know we are Christians by the services we receive and then refuse to pay for, thereby reinforcing every current negative stereotype about the people of our nation."
Posted by I have always been... east coaster on November 3, 2012 at 3:47 PM · Report this
ScienceNerd 21
Too holy to pay for water. Too rich to pay taxes. And here I am, too sexy for this party.
Posted by ScienceNerd on November 3, 2012 at 11:10 PM · Report this

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