We've been crushing up amphetamines and stirring them into Paul Constant and Dominic Holden's food in the Stranger cafeteria for months now. That's the secret. That's why they have been able to produce a super-human amount of writing and reporting and features and analysis and jokes on Slog and in the printed paper and on Twitter for the last however-long-this-election's-been-happening. But after tomorrow? After tomorrow it will be time to sedate them a bit. Or at least let them put their feet up and have a nice repose by the fire. Drinks and books in hand.
Which is why they are going to be the special guests at the silent-reading party on Wednesday, when—pray to God! I'm looking at you, Florida!—the election will be but a distant memory. To usher us all into the next chapter in our lives, there will also be the very pleasant sounds of a harp played by the very pleasant Will Bielawski, a reading-party favorite.
If you don't know what the reading party is, start here. As usual, it's in the Fireside Room at the Sorrento, it starts at 6 pm, goes until 9 pm, there's a $5 Maker's Mark Manhattan on special throughout, you bring whatever you want to read and read it to yourself while everyone else does the same, it's all ages, and it's free.
Paul will be reading Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore by Robin Sloan. I will be reading Portnoy's Complaint by Philip Roth. And Dom? "I will be reading The New York Times," he says. And you? What will you be reading?