Well now, take a gander at what just hit my inbox:
Hi Cienna,
Iâd love to share with you the results of an online-dating survey that revealed Seattleâs take on âThe Perfect Woman,â based on the following factors: Hair Color, Eye Color, Vice, and Education.
[Website censored because I can], the worldâs largest dating-auction website, utilized its âbid for first datesâ model to determine the amount that Seattle males (5,000 surveyed) are willing to pay for certain female features. The most desirable qualities were then objectively ranked according to the average amount (in dollars) of first date offers.
Based on the results of this study, Seattleâs perception of âThe Perfect Womanâ is brunette (+$140.94) with blue eyes (+$42.33), a casual drinker (+$17.52) who doesnât smoke (+$16.61), who is a college graduate with a Masterâs Degree (+$30.17). Overall, Seattle males are willing to spend an average of $247.57 to go on a first date with their definition of âThe Perfect Woman.â
...âA manâs desire is measured by the amount that he is willing to invest in an opportunity,â says Brandon Wade, CEO. âThis is a perfect example of âputting your money where your mouth is,â as these men date what they desire and have the means necessary to find their perfect woman.â
Wow. I'm feeling so many feelings about this press release, most of which involve meat grinders.
Let me just say this: I bet if you surveyed 5,000 Seattle womenâsorry, investments!âon how much money they'd pay to avoid going on a first date with some jackass who monetizes their physical, social, and educational attributes, it would be much higher than $247.57.