Well now, take a gander at what just hit my inbox:
I’d love to share with you the results of an online-dating survey that revealed Seattle’s take on “The Perfect Woman,” based on the following factors: Hair Color, Eye Color, Vice, and Education.
[Website censored because I can], the world’s largest dating-auction website, utilized its “bid for first dates” model to determine the amount that Seattle males (5,000 surveyed) are willing to pay for certain female features. The most desirable qualities were then objectively ranked according to the average amount (in dollars) of first date offers.
Based on the results of this study, Seattle’s perception of “The Perfect Woman” is brunette (+$140.94) with blue eyes (+$42.33), a casual drinker (+$17.52) who doesn’t smoke (+$16.61), who is a college graduate with a Master’s Degree (+$30.17). Overall, Seattle males are willing to spend an average of $247.57 to go on a first date with their definition of “The Perfect Woman.”
...“A man’s desire is measured by the amount that he is willing to invest in an opportunity,” says Brandon Wade, CEO. “This is a perfect example of ‘putting your money where your mouth is,’ as these men date what they desire and have the means necessary to find their perfect woman.”
Wow. I'm feeling so many feelings about this press release, most of which involve meat grinders.
Let me just say this: I bet if you surveyed 5,000 Seattle women—sorry, investments!—on how much money they'd pay to avoid going on a first date with some jackass who monetizes their physical, social, and educational attributes, it would be much higher than $247.57.