International singing sensation Susan Boyle has a new album out, filled with "the greatest songs from the stage." Thanks to Mamma Mia!, this includes ABBA, alongside a half-dozen other musical hernias. Any one of these songs is almost too much to take, but putting them all on one album is criminal assault. Seriously, look at this fucking track list:

"Somewhere Over The Rainbow"
"The Winner Takes It All"
"Send In The Clowns"
"Bring Him Home"
"Memory"
"As Long As He Needs Me"
"Out Here On My Own"
"You'll Never Walk Alone"

I predict this album will inspire more suicides than The Sorrows of Young Werther.