Via SPD Blotter:
Officers arrested a 30-year-old man—armed with a pillow, crack cocaine, and a limited working knowledge of pantomime—Tuesday evening in Lake City after he went on a very unsuccessful robbery spree.
The suspect’s sad saga began around 6:20 pm at the Jack in the Box on 130th and Lake City Way, where he walked into the restaurant, approached two men as they were eating, put his hand in his jacket pocket like he was carrying a gun, and told them to hand over all their money.
Instead, both men got up from their table and asked a restaurant employee to call 911. The suspect, determined not to walk away empty handed, sat down at the victims’ table and began eating their food.
Go read the whole thing—it gets better (worse?).