Slog
News & ArtsSunday, November 25, 2012
Religion Slog Bible Study: Malachi 2:2-3
Posted by Goldy on Sun, Nov 25, 2012 at 6:00 AM
Malachi 2:2-3
If you do not listen, and if you do not resolve to honor my name,” says the LORD Almighty, “I will send a curse on you, and I will curse your blessings. Yes, I have already cursed them, because you have not resolved to honor me.“Because of you I will rebuke your descendants; I will smear on your faces the dung from your festival sacrifices, and you will be carried off with it.
Discuss.
3
I accidentally read it as " I will smear on your FECES the dung from your festival sacrifices". And I thought, wow, shit on shit fetish..... That's some kinky shit. Still, not comforting to know that god invented German Scheiße films.
5
Well, if the lord's gonna be cursing my blessings before I even have them, then I'm just not gonna be blessed. Take that, asshole!
6
So if you are sacrificing an animal and it poops on your face, that means God doesn't like you. Good to know.
7
The only Malachi I recognize is Malachi Constant, the space wanderer. All others are false prophets
12
This was directed at "The Priests" (not the common folk) in other words the Pat Robertsons, the Ken Hutchersons, the sick religious leaders of the day. So thank you Ms Goldy for this timely verse. In fact we see that God is just, as She has seen fit to throw the shit BACK AT these religious leaders, and in their faces at that!
13
Thank GOD, this only applies to old Jews I do feel that many of these festivals are shitty aff erairs. Actually though, the older Jewish festivals seem cooler than the newer Christian festivals...
15
What the LORD Almighty says in Malachi 2:2-3 is what people used to say to their kids before they invented "If you two don't stop it, I will TURN this car AROUND!"
18
You do realize that all the parts of the Bible where they warn of Hell, they're just talking about the burning fire in the trash dump of Jerusalem, right? And it wasn't "for eternity" it was literally "a long time". As in five years, because people thought that was a long time.
21
I have to say that the LORD Almighty of the OT was one vitriolic asshole. I wonder what mellowed him out so much by the NT? Was it finally being able to get his rocks off with the Blessed Virgin?
22
I kinda wish this Lord fella would speak in complete sentences to folks today. It's really hard to have a dialogue with your creator when all you get are ambiguous mystical "signs" every now and again.
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