What's a Good Time of Day to Die?

Comments

1
I want to die at work since working too hard will probably be what kills me.
2
I couldn't help but notice the similarity in option three to an exchange in Game of Thrones.

Shagga: "How would you like to die, Tyrion son of Tywin?"
Tyrion Lannister: "In my own bed, at the age of eighty, with a bellyful of wine and a girl's mouth around my cock."
3
I thought I didn't have a preference until I was tempted by the handfuls of snack food and ass. I'll even be conscientious and keep my hands separate so no one gets orange powder butt.
4
I was going to pick the late night one, but I don't like cheetos. :(
5
I want to die at a time that is very inconvient for everyone involved and I want to make sure it's really messy and public. Perhaps randomly exploding in front of a preschool while the kids are playing in the yard. And not a bomb sort of explosion...just my body blowing itself apart into little bits. Oh...and a cool fart like sound to go with it!
6
At dinner while choking on a piece of prime beef.
7
I don't give a shit what time of day, but I either want to die peacefully in my sleep, or get hit by a truck. No lingering cancer or Alzheimer's for me, thanks.
8
HuffPo gloss:
The Atlantic reports researchers believe their results may be due to the human body reverting to its more natural, circadian rhythm-induced state as death approaches, instead of the cycle created by social commitments.
Wait, what?

The Atlantic original:
Intriguingly, the authors hypothesize that the social commitments that would usually normalize people of varying circadian rhythms became irrelevant as the subjects approached death, allowing them to drift toward their natural states.
Makes those post-prandial dyspeptic attacks a little less worrisome. Word choice and order actually matter, lieblings.
9
If I were to croak at work, someone would be likely to revive me. The benefits of working in a hospital!
10
The Huffington Post's science coverage is notoriously loony and irresponsible.

The abstract doesn't say anything about their sample size. A p-value of .015 is pretty good and it's not an implausible premise, but at the very least they could have given me n.

Seriously, though, don't ever believe anything about science or health that you read in the HuffPo. They're fucking crackers for woo-woo fake medicine and overhyped research press releases. Just the fact that they covered this story makes me want to demand a replication before I believe it.
11
I don't have an opinion on huffpo, but the sad truth is that the majority of readers wouldn't care what a p value is unless their lives depended on it. Maybe not even then. I can't blame journalists for not reporting something that would cause most readers to stop reading.

/would be nice if they stuck it at the end, not as if they need to save space or anything online.