Side-effect disclaimers are generally a laff-riot (unless you're the target demographic), but this commercial for Axiron (embedding not allowed; I wonder why), which is testosterone therapy that men can paste onto their armpits, just screams "wrong." To wit: "Women, especially those who may become pregnant, and children should avoid contact where Axiron is applied, as unexpected signs of puberty in children or changes in body hair or acne in women may occur."

Look, I'm all for dudes getting their junk fixed if it doesn't work, but YOWZA—that's messed up, Jack! What if little Johnny gets into the medicine cabinet and thinks this stuff is shaving cream? Or little Janie decides to play makeup? I'll tell you what happens: PUBIC HAIR BEARD. Just swallow a pill or take the injection, pls. How much harder is that? In other news, I got cable last weekend (which is how I saw this most disturbing commercial), and I basically haven't left the house since.