U.S. Third Quarter Economic Growth Higher Than Expected: Good thing we didn't reelect that terrible president who ruined the economy singlehandedly.

"The first multi-restaurant strike by fast-food workers in American history": In New York.

Charges Dismissed: In the case of the Marysville policeman who left the loaded .38 in the car's cup holder, left the car, and his son shot his daughter, who died.

Giant Black Hole Found in Tiny Galaxy: There's a joke there. Second-biggest black hole ever seen.

Bush the First: The 88-year-old G.W. Bush is hospitalized with bronchitis.

Former Kosovo Prime Minister Cleared of War Crimes: The verdict could "increase Euroscepticism in Serbia."

Palestine Will Make its Case at the UN to Raise its Status: Today.

Tiger Euthanized at Tacoma Zoo: He had lymphoma and kidney disease, was a father to five of the endangered Sumatrans.

If Penetration Isn't Working: "Disgust may be clue to rare sexual disorder."

British Press Is a "Havoc"-Maker: And should regulate itself.

Glenn Beck Wanders into Art Territory Again with "Obama in pee pee": He is a clown, and it is boring.

The Syrian Comics Scene Is Flourishing: Revolution is good for comics.

Mustache Implants: In the Middle East.

How Much Does a College Have to Spend to Fire its Football Coach?: Guess. Higher. $9 million. $11 million.

Starbucks Is Selling Diamonds: Or you'd think they were. Rare Costa Rican blend. $7 a cup.

Powerball People: The two winners are in Missouri and Arizona. The numbers were 5-23-16-22-29 and 6.

A Better Holiday-Season Experience Than the 'Nutcracker'?: Reading The Believer's newly published interview with marvelously cranky, now dead Maurice Sendak. "I was very happy to be an American. I loved being here. I loved not being dead when I was a kid."

And here is Tina Turner with some guy and some other people.