Heirloom Twinkies: A man in Federal Way has 30-year-old Twinkies that he received for his birthday in 1982. In 2004, he "seriously thought about eating them," before realizing there wasn't a gun to his head.
North Korea's state news agency reports that archeologists have discovered a unicorn's lair because things there weren't sufficiently ass-backward before.
Nicotine Doesn't See Color: Australian cigarettes packs will soon reflect the lifelessness of the dead bodies they stack up. A new law mandates no brand colors or logos allowed.
Tattoo Faced: The gullible man in Northern Indiana with the Romney-Ryan logo tattooed on his face is having the regrettable ink removed in part because, to him, "it not only represents a losing campaign, but a sore losing campaign."