I'm on hiatus while working on a manuscript for a new book. In the meantime, please enjoy these classic Savage Love letters pulled from previous columns. I will be back when the book is finished. —Dan
Originally published June 7, 2007:
I've got a confusing issue with my girlfriend. Our relationship was going great until I caught her having an emotional affair via MySpace. She swore to never hurt me again. Well, I recently found out that she posted an ad looking for NSA sex. She responded to several people who contacted her. When confronted, she encouraged me to look through her e-mail, to prove her innocence; but her e-mail proved her guilt. There was tons of evidence that she had been planning an affair—naked pics in her e-mails, contact information, pictures of guys. She says she doesn't remember doing any of these things.
My girl has told me that she is bipolar, obsessive-compulsive, and has mental ailments. She's been on meds since she was 12, but I never knew to what extent until now. She's on four different meds. I've since found out about lots of other lies she has been perpetuating since the beginning of our relationship. She claims to remember nothing. Is it possible that the drugs could cause her to selectively forget things? Could her conditions and the drugs she's on cause this kind of amnesia? Or is my girl just a liar?
Duped By The Dope
My response after the jump...
Low-down dirty liar, victim of drug-induced amnesia; low-down dirty liar, victim of drug-induced amnesia... does it really matter which it is, DBTD? Because here's what we know for sure: Stay with this woman and you're going to be lied to, cheated on, and manipulated. Does it make it better if she can point to her meds and claim that the possible side effects—"drowsiness, blurred vision, erections lasting more than four hours, selective memory, serial infidelity"—made her post those ads, send those pictures, and fuck those other dudes?
So the question you need to ask yourself, DBTD, isn't "Did the drugs make her do it?" but "Am I willing to put up with this crap?" I think we both know the answer to that question: DTCMFA.