Oh Man, Rich People are Gonna Be Pissed: Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner says they have to lose their tax cuts or we'll all fall off a cliff or something.
A Tunnel Collapsed in Japan: Nine people died. The tunnel's operator says anchor bolts were missing, which may have caused the collapse.
Syria Promises No Chemical Weapons: Hillary Clinton warned them that Washington would take action if they do use the weapons, which have allegedly been moved.
Kansas City Chiefs Player Kills His Girlfriend, Then Himself: "Belcher first ended his girlfriend's life, police said, before taking his own just outside the front door of the Chiefs' practice facility. He and the woman he killed left behind a 3-month-old daughter." SAD.
The Pope Is on Twitter: Pope Beneditct XVI has started a personal Twitter account. So far he hasn't Tweeted yet, but he has over 100,000 followers.
Christmas Miracle: "Say goodbye to that annoying buzz created by overhead fluorescent light bulbs in your office. Scientists at Wake Forest University have developed a flicker-free, shatterproof alternative for large-scale lighting."
In Other Innovative News: A long-lasting bread could cut food waste (and save the environment! Yay!).
Ka-Boom: A small Louisiana town was evacuated after cops found six million pounds of illegally stored explosives.
Comedian Katt Williams Was Arrested in Seattle: He allegedly got into a dispute at an SLU bar, where witnesses claim he "brandished a pool cue at the bar's manager and refused to leave." The Seattle Times says "Williams was booked into the King County jail for investigation of assault, harassment and obstruction."
The Seahawks Won: I'm only putting this here because there's still no goddamn motherfucking hockey season.
Speaking of hockey, players and owners are supposedly meeting tomorrow. And this is why we need the NHL back! The alternative is dudes who score goals against their own team: